Two Coffees
by honeyandvodka
Summary: Castle and Beckett never met five years ago. Beckett's Mom's case remains unsolved, and Castle has no muse. What happens when their paths cross? An AU Target/Hunt meeting.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:**

**NaNoWriMo. **This was written in November, over thirty days, and edited in December. As such, it's complete, and approximately 50,000 words. As it's all done, chapters will be posted regularly, hopefully every three days. The story has an introduction, then three parts (two chapters before we see Castle)… I've never ever written something and completed it before posting until now, so that was… interesting.

**The story: **We've all read (and probably written!) stories in which Caskett meet five years earlier… an interview with Stana Katic over the summer got me thinking- what if they had never met? Would Castle have met his father? Would Beckett have solved her mom's case? This isn't fluffy in the same vein as my last story was (sorry!) but it's also not overwhelmingly angsty; hopefully it achieves a decent balance between case based and romance.

Also JSYK, there will be a point at which this goes from T to M, and I'll be clear when that happens. ;)

**Betas: **Many, MANY thanks to Kylie, especially! Trish has also had a hand in the beta work on this monster.

**Thanks for reading. Sorry about this long author's note. This will be the only essay. I hope you enjoy the story. :)**

* * *

><p><strong>Introduction<strong>

**Chapter One**

"Nice work today," the Captain called across the bullpen as she walked toward him. "Especially you, Beckett."

"Thanks, Sir." Beckett shrugged. "Just doing my job."

She leaned against the door frame, setting down her cup of half-finished, now cold, coffee on the counter and accepting a beer in exchange. She twisted the top, satisfied by the hiss of sound, and lifted it toward the others with a nod before raising it to her lips. This case could have gone sideways so easily, and as she had walked the Senator out of the precinct this afternoon, his statement finally taken down, she'd felt a swell of pride at watching him before the TV cameras. She'd slipped away, unwilling to get her face on film, but not before he'd thanked her and told her he owed her one.

"No." Montgomery shook his head, looking at her from his seat at the table in the break room. "You had a hunch, and you followed it through even though the evidence didn't necessarily add up." He pointed his finger at her. "Sign of good detective work. Bracken could have died, easily." A shadow crossed over his face, but was gone before Beckett could wonder what was bothering the Captain.

She watched him take the cap off his beer too, pleased to see he was also letting off a little steam with them. "Not going straight home to Evelyn today?" she asked, and he shook his head.

"Just wanted to take a moment with my team," he said.

"Good for you, Sir." Ryan clinked his own beer against the Captain's. "I texted Jenny, let her know I'd be another half hour. She just got home from work." He glanced at his watch. "Although, I'd better get going soon."

Kate caught Esposito's eye and smirked, the Latino detective matching her grin with his own. Yeah. Well. Ryan and Jenny; a year later and it seemed like the honeymoon phase was anything but over. "You wanna head out for a quiet one, once we're done here?" Esposito asked, and Ryan nodded.

"Sure. Maybe Jenny will join us."

Kate hid another smile; Ryan would make his way home and stay there. He'd be full of apologies, reasons, and excuses tomorrow, but really, she and Esposito would be drinking at the bar without him tonight.

"Man, I wish the Old Haunt was still around," Ryan complained and Esposito made a face at him.

"Why, man? It's not like you or Jenny come out with me and Beckett anymore."

"I do-" Ryan protested. "We've just been busy."

Roy smiled, taking another swig of his drink before putting it down on the table and standing up. "I remember the days when cop bars were real cop bars," he said. "Was a time we'd go out after every case, down to the old place on Fulton, or that bar over on Delancey. Things were different in those days, I guess." He shrugged. "I'm out of here," he finished, tipping his head at each of them.

"Night, Sir," Beckett called after him, stretching and turning to the boys. It had been a long day but they'd closed their case and a celebration was long overdue. "Bar?" she asked, and Esposito nodded.

"Got a real cop bar in mind?" he teased in an imitation of Montgomery, and Beckett chuckled.

"Fresh out of genuine cop bars," she said, rolling her eyes at the idea of a dark and smoky bar propped up by a boys club. "How 'bout that new place over on Bleeker?"

"Sounds good," Ryan agreed, and ducked as Esposito threw a scrunched up piece of paper at him. Beckett smiled wryly. Maybe she spent too much time here, but these guys were her family.

* * *

><p>Beckett leaned her head against the back of her seat in the booth she'd scored, staring vacantly across the room as she waited for Esposito to return with their beers. She was only going to stay for one drink, maybe two. Then she'd take a cab to her East Village apartment and settle into bed with a good book.<p>

What was taking him so long? Beckett shook her head, glancing around for her friend, rapping her fingers impatiently against the table when she spotted him; he was talking to a cute girl. Of course. But, he had two beers in his hand, so she held out hope that he'd remember he was supposed to be bringing one of them her way.

She checked her phone while she waited, in case Ryan had messaged. Nothing. She grinned. No surprises there. Kate sighed at the thought. She'd never admit it to Ryan, or to Esposito, but she was a little envious, sometimes.

"Yo," Esposito greeted her, slamming the beer onto the table with gusto and pushing it toward Beckett. "It's a meat market in here. I could barely get away."

Kate rolled her eyes. "I saw," she said. "Looked like you were trying _real_ hard, as well."

"Hey," he protested. "I can't help it if I'm irresistible."

Beckett shrugged. "Right. Of course not."

"Any word from Ryan?"

Kate shook her head. "Nope. No doubt he'll have an excuse ready for us tomorrow."

Esposito shook his head, but Beckett thought she read real concern in his eyes. He missed his friend, she knew, and she was a poor substitute. Or, in any case, she thought, as she followed Esposito's gaze across the room, a poor wingman.

"Cheers," she offered, raising her glass to meet his rather than spending any more time dwelling on Ryan and Jenny's relationship.

"Cheers," Esposito replied, raising his glass too, before taking a sip. "Tough case, huh?"

"Mmm," Kate agreed noncommittally; it had been anything but a walk in the park but they'd done their jobs and protected the senator. Now, she just wanted to enjoy a quiet drink and put the case out of her mind.

"Come on, Beckett," Esposito urged. "Something was off, wasn't it?"

She shrugged. He was right, but she didn't know what it was or how to explain it. She'd been playing with ideas all day, trying to make sense of the puzzle pieces, but nothing had added up. "Yeah," she admitted softly. "Something was off." She took another sip of her drink, making a face at Esposito. "Maybe just the politician thing?" she suggested.

"No, man," Esposito said with a slight shake of his head. "There was something weird going on. A vibe."

"A _vibe_?" Kate scoffed, trying to dismiss Espo's words. "Who are you? Ryan? Buying into vibes?" She shook her head.

Esposito gave her a sidelong look, and stared across the bar for a moment in reticence, before breaking his silence. "Something wasn't right, Beckett. You and I both know it. We caught the driver through sheer luck- I would have locked up that crazy guy too- but there was something else."

"Montgomery," she murmured, pressing her lips tightly together as soon as the word left her mouth.

"Huh?"

"That's what was wrong," Beckett clarified, working it through as she spoke. "There was something wrong with Montgomery. Something was up with him, the entire case." She held up her index finger, silencing Esposito before he could speak. "I don't know what. God, I _really_ don't know what."

She winced as she thought about it; the hot and cold her mentor had run on the case, instructing her to do one thing before storming out of his office and changing his mind a moment later.

Esposito leaned back, staring across the booth at her and she chewed on her lip, considering.

"Look," she said at last. "It's done now. Our guy's down at Central Booking, and the senator, well, I don't know. I guess he's made the next step in his political career, considering how he chose to handle it."

"Yeah, but doesn't it make you wonder?"

"Wonder what?" Beckett asked. This was supposed to be a fun night out, to let off some steam, decompress, but right now she felt her blood pressure rising. Much as she liked a drink she hated finding solace in alcohol and she put the half empty glass back on the table and pushed it away.

"Wonder what he did in the first place, to make the kinds of enemies who would want to kill him."

"Everyone's got skeletons, Espo," she reminded the other detective, and he narrowed his eyes at her.

"Well let me put it to you this way, Beckett. Would you vote for Bracken, next time it's his name on a ballot paper in front of you?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Part One**

**Chapter Two**

"What have you got for me, Lanie?" Kate strode up to her friend, the Bracken case already pushed out of her mind as she came to meet the next in the long line of bodies waiting for her.

"Hello to you too, Detective Beckett," Lanie returned, looking at her through narrowed eyes and Kate smiled at her friend. "Meet Hasim Farouk, man versus van. At one a.m. last night he was killed instantly."

"Knocked right out of his shoes at the point of impact," Esposito informed her, and Beckett took a moment to look at him appraisingly, taking pointed note of just how close he was standing to the ME, and storing the information away. Interesting. Maybe they had hooked up on Valentine's Day; Lanie had certainly been cagey when Kate tried to convince her friend to come out.

"Hit and run?" She was almost reluctant; their last few cases had been much more interesting, and she wasn't going to lie, she liked the juicy ones- though she did draw the line at calling them 'Beckett-flavored' the way the guys did when they wanted to get a rise out of her.

Esposito shook his head and she saw his eyes light up. He complained, but he liked the weird ones as much as she did. "That's just the tip of the iceberg. A witness, homeless guy, said that the victim emptied his gun at the van and just stood in the middle of the street, shooting right until it hit him." He nodded at the closest uniform. "Jan?" The man gave him a gun in an evidence bag, and Espo held it out for her to see. "This is a Sig P 220 S with a weight compensator, target sights, and custom molded grip to his hand. This was a serious shooter."

Huh. Beckett nodded, breaking into a grim smile. So this wasn't a garden variety murder at all. She was officially intrigued. "What else do we know about him?"

"Well," Ryan offered, "Hasim Farouk is a Saudi national living here as a student up at Columbia."

Beckett raised her eyebrows, staring at the body for a moment more and then shrugging. "So… what was he doing in Lower Manhattan? Let's have tech search traffic cam footage for that van and let's look into Hasim Farouk's life. See if he had any enemies."

* * *

><p>Beckett stared at the blank murder board while Esposito sat beside her, shuffling through what they already knew. From experience she knew it would just be a matter of time before the white space was filled with names and ideas; for now nothing had been either established, or ruled out; an almost empty board was a blessing and a curse.<p>

"Hey guys?" They turned to see Ryan hovering in the doorway between one of the work rooms and the bullpen. "I got something here you need to see."

Beckett shrugged and stood up, working the kinks out of her back and taking a last look at the board before she and Esposito followed Ryan into the room.

"Unfortunately there were no traffic or security cams near the crime scene, but we did find this footage shot down the street from where Hasim was hit."

He paused the video and Esposito grunted in agreement. "That's definitely the van that took him out. Front end's all crunched up. You can see the bullet holes."

"Yeah," Ryan agreed. "But watch this."

Beckett scrutinized the tape, her jaw dropping. A girl got out of the van and made it a few paces before a man lunged from the van and pulled her back. "Zoom in on her face," she instructed Ryan, and he did so. She held up a photograph from the file in her hand. "That's Sara El-Masri. She was abducted." She shook her head. "Hasim died trying to stop it."

* * *

><p>"Beckett? This is Agent Harris. He'll be running point on the kidnapping."<p>

She smiled at her Captain, before turning her attention to the man in front of her.

"How are the parents?"

"Scared. Devastated." Beckett dipped her head. She knew enough about how this worked to know they were reacting the right way, and Agent Harris nodded, confirming her instinct.

"Okay, that's good." He smiled at her, and she watched him go into the interview room to introduce himself to the couple and she sighed. This morning this had been another interesting homicide, something to wrap her mind around, a juicy one to distract her. Now though, it was a kidnapping, and the stakes were that much higher.

Beckett shook her head, trying to get her head in the case. This wasn't the first time a murder investigation had collided with a kidnapping. She figured she should just be grateful that she was dealing with Agent Harris instead of Will Sorenson. Their relationship had spectacularly combusted the second time round and she had no desire to see him ever again.

She shrugged. For all she knew, he wasn't even in New York anymore; it had been years since she'd heard anything from him. She may not have enjoyed working with many feds over the years, but compared to pairing up with Will again, working with Agent Harris would be a walk in the park.

"Yo, Beckett." Esposito's voice shook her from her reverie and she looked up to see him holding a few papers out toward her. "Ryan spoke to the roommate and apparently Sara went to some kind of science thing last night."

"Found anything?"

"Three anythings in lower Manhattan," he told her. "First, a sci-fi movie marathon in an art house theater eight blocks from where Hasim got clocked."

Beckett nodded. "Location's good, but science fiction isn't really science." Esposito glared at her, and she shrugged. "It's not. What else do you have?"

"You're really cold sometimes, Beckett, you know that?" he asked, and she grinned. Come the end of case, they'd find themselves in a bar with a beer, hashing it all out, differences of opinion forgotten.

Although, she realized, smiling to herself, if the body language between her colleague and the ME this morning was anything to go by, like Ryan, she might be seeing less of Espo as well, soon enough. She made a mental note to check in with Lanie. Esposito cleared his throat and continued. "Uh, a stargazing tour led by an actual astronomer and a speech from a scientist named Hayden Posner, in the ballroom of the Beaumont Hotel."

Beckett wrinkled her nose, weighing up the options. The hotel was close to the crime scene, and also to the precinct. "Let's start with Posner's talk at the Beaumont Hotel."

* * *

><p>"I remember her. Very lovely young woman. Sara El-Masri, yes, she definitely attended. I checked her in myself." Beckett watched the manager appraisingly; he was anything but a suspect, but she'd learned the hard way to treat everyone with suspicion.<p>

"Did you notice anything unusual about her?"

Andrew shook his head. "No. After Dr. Posner's presentation she stayed for the Q and A, which went rather late, and then she left."

"And do you have any idea where she went?" Ryan asked.

"All I know is that she exited the ballroom. I stayed on to set up for a wedding reception."

Ryan nodded. "Did she speak with anyone?"

"Just the person she was with. A young woman. They sat together. They seemed to be friends but I couldn't tell you her name."

"You didn't check her in?" Beckett asked, and he shook his head.

"I got called away right after I checked Sara in. Let's see. I think Michael took over from me." He waved at another man. "Michael, do you remember the name of anyone you checked in last night?" Beckett sighed. This was starting to feel like a dead end and her mind was already moving forward; they needed to check traffic cams in the neighborhood. She blinked, trying to pull herself back to the moment.

Michael shrugged and took the list from his boss. "Uh- I checked in a couple of people." He ran his index finger down the list. "Caroline Armand… Peter Butler… Alexis Castle." He looked up at Beckett and Ryan. "Yes. Alexis Castle was the first person I checked in. I remember her- she was striking. Long red hair, pale skin."

Andrew nodded. "Yes, the red-head," he added, evidently remembering the girl. "She asked a few questions during the Q and A, as well."

"Thank you." Ryan nodded at the two staff and Beckett pulled her phone from her pocket, dialing Esposito.

"Get me a number for an Alexis Castle," she told him, barely waiting for an answer before hanging up. There was a stirring of familiarity in her stomach; she _knew_ that name, but before she could dwell too much, her phone buzzed as Esposito's text came through with a number for Sara's friend.

She dialed it without hesitation, following Ryan out of the room, but as she heard the call connect she caught the chime of a cell phone somewhere in the ball room. Icy fear ran down her back as she turned toward the sound, striding back across the room, mentally willing Alexis Castle to pick up, willing her suspicion to be wrong.

"What's that?" Ryan asked, and the manager frowned, pulling up a box from behind the bar.

"Our lost and found. In fact, a guest turned in a phone last night. They found it in the street out front."

Beckett reached for it, and ended her own call. The words _unknown caller_ faded from the screen, replaced by a missed call alert, and she sighed, swiping the cell phone and unlocking it.

"Huh," Ryan looked perplexed, and Beckett didn't blame him. "Is that her phone? They- did they take _two_ girls?"

Beckett ignored him as she scrolled through the contacts, pausing when she got to the one labeled _Dad_, closing her eyes and pinching the bridge of her nose for a second before reopening her eyes. She knew that face. She knew those _eyes_. The name _Alexis Castle_ sounded familiar for a reason; her favorite author's daughter had been abducted.

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><p><strong>AN: Thanks for the beta, K! Next chapter is scheduled for 3 days from now! Hope you all enjoy where this is going! I'm thrilled that so many of you want to take this ride with me!  
><strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

Beckett stared at the man across from her. The piercing blue eyes on his book jackets had nothing on the real thing, but there was no joy in him in person. She was struck instead with the sudden urge to grab a copy of his latest bestseller and gaze at the sparkling eyes of the man on the inside cover, rather than be privy to the raw terror she was currently witnessing.

She cast her mind back a few years to when their paths had almost crossed. She'd been bitterly disappointed at the time; he had been out of the country and she'd missed her chance to interview him. She wondered wildly if his people had even informed him of the Tisdale investigation; whether he realized that he had been the victim of an elaborate hoax that had seen an innocent (though deranged) Richard Castle fan framed for murder.

Kate shook her head, trying to clear the images; she may have been sorry she hadn't had the chance to meet Richard Castle five years ago, but she'd rather not meet him at all, given these circumstances. She took a deep breath, readying herself. No matter how often she gave people bad news about their loved ones, it was new every time and she bit down on her lip hard, before speaking.

"Mr. Castle." Beckett extended her hand. "I am so sorry."

He shook his head, but took her hand, his grip engulfing her slender fingers. Beckett pressed her lips together; his eyes told her of his fear, but his handshake was warm and strong, and she was struck by the unprecedented desire to hold his hand for a beat longer than she usually would.

He opened his mouth as if to speak, but it was Agent Harris who spoke first. "Mr. Castle, we will do everything in our power to get your daughter back."

"I don't want to be handled," he told them, dropping Beckett's hand. "Just let me know where things stand."

Beckett shot him another sharp look; she was already quickly gaining respect for the man. She'd pulled his record five years ago, and she was no stranger to his reputation, but right now she could only see a grieving father in front of her. He caught her eye and she smiled at him sympathetically.

"Let's start with the facts as we now understand them. You daughter attended last night's event with Sara El-Masri. Apparently they met in an environmental science class and became friends. GPS on her phone shows that it was left outside the hotel shortly after the event ended. That, plus the fact that no-one has seen or heard from her in the sixteen hours since, leads us to conclude that she, too, was forced into the van."

Mr. Castle stayed silent, and Beckett took the opportunity to speak up. "Now, why would they take Alexis, if Sara was the target?"

The Agent nodded at her and she knew he wasn't going to paint a particularly reassuring picture. "She was probably with Sara at the time. She was a witness. It would have been easier to take her than… not."

Beckett raised her eyebrows; the man did indeed have an edge of compassion.

"So you're saying she was just in the wrong place at the wrong time?"

"It appears that way," Harris agreed.

"Do you have any suspects?"

He nodded. "We have a name. Facial recognition gave us an ID on the man in the video. Roger Henson. We know him mainly as a mid-level narcotics smuggler."

"We can initiate a manhunt," Beckett assured Mr. Castle, and he looked at her with tired eyes.

"I've written this a hundred times," he told her slowly. "So seriously, don't try and placate me, or reassure me. I can tell you that living this is nothing like writing it, but you don't need to try and sugarcoat it."

The despair in his eyes had Beckett flinching, and she nodded.

"So, what's a drug smuggler doing involved in a kidnapping?" Mr. Castle asked, and there was a part of Beckett that was seriously impressed; not many people sitting across from her had been able to surprise her over the years, least of all when their daughter had been a victim, but there was something about Richard Castle that was different.

"We're not sure. But Roger Henson is not a shot caller. He's a middle man, a hired gun. He may have been hired to abduct the girls." Agent Harris turned sharp eyes onto Beckett before turning back to Mr. Castle. "You need to stay positive. Whatever their motives, the kidnappers will realize she has value. Now, what we need to do next is go to your home and set up a trap and trace on your phone line so we're ready for their call."

He stood and left the room, leaving Rick sitting at the table. Beckett stayed still, waiting; in spite of the motivation Mr. Castle now had to get to his apartment, he clearly needed a moment. She hesitated before breaking her silence.

"We're gonna find her, Castle. We will," she promised him, cursing silently even as she spoke. No guarantees. That was the number one rule in situations like this, and yet here she was, making promises out of some misguided desire to push the fear right out of this man's eyes.

"Castle, huh?" His head jerked up and she swore she saw a twinkle reach his eye, just for a second.

Beckett rubbed her face, trying to hide her blush. "Sorry," she apologized. "I just- it's what we do here," she told him. "We don't use first names- it was stupid. Sorry," she said again, kicking herself. She may have wanted to erase his concerns, but she was still talking to Richard Castle, and in spite of the gravity of the situation, she didn't want to embarrass herself.

He stood at last, and she smiled at him regretfully, handing over her business card before pointing him to the exit. She watched as he walked back to the elevator with Agent Harris, jumping when Captain Montgomery came up behind her. "You do whatever you need to do to get him back his little girl. Anything you need, Beckett."

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><p><strong>AN: Thanks K, for the beta. Thanks, you guys, for reading! You have no idea how happy it makes me, that people are into this idea! :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

Beckett ran her hands through her hair for the umpteenth time. _Shit_. The reality of the situation was starting to sink in and she was ruing her earlier words; the promise that his daughter would be safe hadn't been hers to make, and it made her more desperate now.

She leapt on her phone when it rang, surprised to hear Castle's voice on the other end, hastily clicking on the link he sent her. _Damn_. Nothing here was adding up, and if the kidnappers had been watching Alexis-

This was bad. Really bad.

"Do you see? Are you watching?" he asked, and she nodded along even though he couldn't see her.

"Castle, if the kidnappers knew that Alexis and Sara were friends-"

"They did know," he surmised. "They _had _to know. They tracked Sara to the hotel from this video. Alexis posted it yesterday afternoon at 2:36. The kidnappers must have access to her website."

"Okay," she told him. "I'm contacting tech right now."

"Have them trace every IP address that accessed that site after 2:36pm," he told her and she nodded again, clenching her teeth.

"Which might take time," she warned him. "Depending on-"

"What if she doesn't have time?" he interrupted her and she closed her eyes.

"Castle, listen to me-"

"Don't," he said, stopping her from finishing. "Don't promise me you'll find her unless you can do it."

Kate shuddered. _Shit_.

"Beckett?" Ryan called from across the bullpen, and she looked up to see a pair of worried eyes trained on her.

"Castle, I gotta go. I'll call you as soon as I find something, okay?" Beckett hung up, cursing again under her breath. _Shit_.

* * *

><p>Was today ever going to end? Arriving at the scene where they'd found the van she could tell from her first glance - from Lanie's posture, from the way CSU were milling about - that were more questions than answers inside. "Hey, girl," the ME greeted her, and she smiled at her friend.<p>

"Hey… what do we have here?" she asked, and Lanie tilted her shoulder in an approximation of a shrug.

"I don't know yet," she told Beckett. "There's a lot of blood here, but not so much that the person who lost it is necessarily dead- they would need medical attention, though."

Kate nodded.

"And how's your boy doing?" Lanie continued, and Kate frowned in confusion. "Richard Castle, Kate," her friend clarified. "I heard he was down at the precinct."

"Oh. Castle. Right." Beckett shrugged. Apart from the fact Richard Castle's only daughter was missing, he was just peachy.

"Oh-nuh-uh," Lanie looked at her. "Kate Beckett you did not-"

Beckett rolled her eyes. She knew that tone of voice; the ME was overextending her imagination again. She narrowed her eyes at Lanie. "What, Lanie? Have you got something to say?"

"Have I got something to say?" Lanie snorted and Kate scowled. "Girl, all I'm saying is that given how cut up you were that you didn't get to interview him all those years ago, it must have felt good to finally be in the same room as him. And you're already calling him 'Castle'?"

"Lanie!" Kate hissed. "His daughter is missing. _Missing_!" she repeated. "So no, being in the same room as him wasn't exactly _good_."

"Mmm-hmm," Lanie just nodded. "I'm sure." She smiled. "He is cute though."

Kate exhaled loudly. "Lanie-" She glanced around and her eyes widened. "Lanie- he's also _here_."

The ME inhaled sharply, and Beckett watched Richard Castle approach the scene. The panic in his eyes was palpable, and he spotted Kate, making a beeline for her.

"What are you doing here?" she demanded.

"I called the precinct- they told me you found the van. Why the hell wouldn't you call me?"

"Because we don't know what this is yet. Castle, please. You don't need to see this." She grabbed his arm, trying to stop him from pushing past, but he barreled through, relentless.

"What's in the van?" He peered around the officers on the scene, and Beckett tried desperately to stop him from seeing… whatever it was they were all looking at. Until they knew what it was; it was too soon. He shouldn't be here.

* * *

><p>Beckett knocked on Castle's door with trepidation. She'd done all she could for the night, and logic said she should go home and get some sleep. At the last minute, though, she'd checked the file for his address and hurried out of the precinct, hailing a cab before she could change her mind. Rationally, she knew Agent Harris had brought him up to speed on the case; she was just going there to check in on him, she told herself.<p>

A week ago she'd been in the bath reading his latest book, bemoaning the fact that her Saturday nights had denigrated so thoroughly. It had felt like a long time since she'd had another option, and she had stared for a moment at his photograph on the book jacket before immersing herself in his fictional romance-thriller.

Now she was standing outside his apartment, intruding upon his privacy, along with the half dozen FBI agents who were camped out inside, waiting on the prospect of setting a tap on a ransom call. With every hour that passed, Beckett felt her own hope wavering.

"Hello." An older red head answered the door and Beckett forced her lips to curl into a smile.

"I'm Detective Beckett," she told the woman, extending a hand.

"Martha," the woman replied, taking Kate's hand in both of hers. "I'm Alexis' grandmother. Come on in."

Beckett followed the woman into the apartment, her sharp eyes taking everything in. The FBI had set up in the expansive living room, but Martha led her past them into a study. "Richard," she announced. "Detective Beckett is here to see you."

"Beckett?"

She smiled in spite of herself. "Hey, Castle."

"Take a seat," he offered, standing up from where he'd been slumped at his desk, and indicating one of the armchairs.

"How are you doing?" she asked, watching as he reached for two glasses and the scotch on the shelf behind him.

He shrugged and raised the bottle toward her in answer, and she winced.

"Stupid question," she agreed quietly, watching as he set the two tumblers on the desk and poured a generous serving of the golden liquid into each of them. He handed her one without asking whether she wanted it, and she accepted, setting it aside on the arm of the chair. He smiled at her wryly and took a seat in the second armchair, sipping at his own drink.

"I keep thinking I'm going to wake up," he told her. "Like this is a dream. But you're not here to listen to me sleep talk, and I know you're not here with good news- I can see it on your face."

Kate shook her head. "I'm not here with _bad _news," she offered. "We're getting closer- we found a guy- the driver." She squeezed her eyes closed for a moment. "He didn't want to talk, but Esposito and I managed to persuade him." She bit her lip again. Espo's ideas of persuasion had been downright risky, but she liked to think that was why the three of them worked as a team; Ryan would always reign her and Esposito in if they needed a safety net.

"I hope you tortured him," Castle mumbled and Beckett raised her eyebrows at him.

"Well, we didn't," she assured him, and she hesitated. "We just let him think we would." She shrugged.

"Which one is Esposito?" he asked. "That your partner?"

She shrugged. "There are three of us. We all work together."

"I just keep thinking there must be a reason for all this," he said abruptly, and Beckett winced.

"You don't know that," she said.

"But- in my stories, there's always a reason," he continued. "There _has_ to be a story here that we're just not seeing."

"Sometimes things just happen," she said, images of her mother in that alley surprising her with their ferocity as they flashed into her memory. They sat in silence for a moment before she spoke again. "I know Agent Harris told you about the farmhouse-"

"Another dead end."

He slumped down in his chair and Beckett stared around the room, trying to look at anything but Richard Castle. It was like… Alfred's Batcave, she decided; the swords and mementos impressing her.

"Do you know what Mother and I were doing this morning? We were making breakfast." He laughed again but there was no mirth in the sound. "_She_ was making pancakes. My patented smiley face pancakes." He made a face. "She made them badly."

"Oh, yeah?" Beckett asked. _What was she doing here? _she asked herself and she had to force her mind to answer. _Comforting a victim. It's no different to any other victim_, she assured herself.

"We were hungover," he continued sadly. "I'd been up late, she'd been out…" he trailed off, and Beckett rolled her eyes. This was more like it; this was the man the tabloids liked to portray as a partying playboy. She wondered for a second whether or not he'd woken up alone before kicking herself; _that_ was none of her business.

"Walk of shame, huh?" she asked, though, her mouth running away from her before she could stop herself, and she threw a hand over her mouth. "Sorry. Sorry. Don't answer that." She _was_ sorry; why she'd said that out loud she had no idea.

Castle glanced at her with curiosity. "Why Detective," he smirked before answering, and she blushed. "For me? No. I got distracted with writer's block. Before I knew it the bottle of scotch was emptier than I had intended." He smiled wryly. "Luckily I had another on hand for tonight. For my mother? Yes, absolutely a walk of shame." He smiled again, the smile reaching his eyes properly for the first time since she'd met him earlier today, and she smiled back, glad to see the spark in his expression.

"Where is Alexis' mother?" she asked, and she mentally kicked herself again; she knew Ryan had cleared Alexis' mother of any involvement and therefore it was none of her business. And, she figured, if she couldn't stop with the inappropriate comments she would have to make herself leave. She realized, though that she really didn't want to, and she rolled her eyes at herself. Since when was sitting with a terrified parent better than being alone in her own apartment?

"Ahhh…" Rick shrugged and shook his head, looking up at Beckett like he'd forgotten she was there. "Meredith. Right. I should- I should call her, shouldn't I?"

Kate nodded, frowning. "Yeah, it's probably a good idea," she told him and he chuckled, a low, jaded laugh that took her aback.

"Probably," he agreed, but she could hear the bitterness in his voice, and she took that to mean that Alexis' mom wasn't particularly involved in her daughter's life.

"Do you need us to call her for anything?" she asked and he shook his head.

"She lives in L.A," he told her. "But she hasn't been out here for years. Alexis was sick earlier this year and she didn't come out then. She didn't even come to Alexis' high school graduation." His face crumpled and he looked at her desperately. "What if- what if she doesn't get a college graduation?"

"She will," Beckett soothed, lying through her teeth; she had no right making these promises but she couldn't stop herself. "She will," she repeated.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: You guys, with the reviewing and following... thank you! And thanks K, for the beta! **


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

Beckett found herself looking around the room with interest; Castle had closed his eyes and she wondered if she should let herself out, go and get some rest of her own. Her eyes fell on the bookshelves, and she stood up, unable to stop herself; she'd leave in a minute, after she'd taken a look at his collection.

She saw at a glance that the man had varied taste, and she was impressed. There was far more here than just thrillers and mysteries, but in spite of her admiration for the variety, she found herself drawn to the shelves opposite the desk, where the man's own books were housed.

She ran a fingertip over them all, pausing ruefully at the copy of _StormFall_; she'd never tell him, but she had been entirely unimpressed when he'd killed off his protagonist.

"Are you a fan?" he asked, and she whirled around, caught.

"I thought you were _sleeping._" She let her hand fall from the spines, grimacing. "And… yes. Of the genre," she admitted more gently. "I've read a couple of yours."

Beckett shrugged. A white lie. It was almost true, if what she meant was _I've read each of yours a couple of times_. He smirked at her and she felt her cheeks warm.

She opened her mouth to defend herself further but before she could say anything they were interrupted by the buzz of his phone, and they both glanced down to the arm of his chair in surprise. He stared at it for a second before picking it up and almost running into the living room.

"Were you expecting someone to Skype you?" one of the FBI guys asked from the dining room table and Castle looked at him, his eyes wide.

"No."

Beckett held her breath as she waited; the FBI guys flipped their tech online and gave Castle the go ahead with a nod.

"Alexis!"

"Daddy? Oh my God!" Beckett heard the fear in the girl's voice along with everyone else in the room and she stood still, rooted to the spot. "I tried to call 911 but it wouldn't go through!"

"Baby, are you okay? Where are you?"

"I don't know." Alexis was panicking and Beckett saw the look of terror on Castle's face. "The phone's about to die. Um… I- we're- we're in some building. We were locked in a room but we got out."

"Where? What building? What's out- what's outside the window?"

"Nothing, nothing- I can't see outside. The windows are covered up."

Beckett found herself clenching her fists as she heard muted sounds, low shouting, in the background.

"They're coming," she heard Alexis whisper. "They're coming. They found out we're gone."

"Baby, get out of there. Get out of there now. Go! Go!"

There was a muffled gasp, and Beckett heard a thump as Alexis dropped the cell phone in her desperate scramble to flee. She was by Castle's side, gripping his arm before she could stop herself.

"Can you tell where the call's coming from?" Castle asked, and she was seriously impressed; how the man was able to make sentences right now was beyond her.

"Tracking it," the tech guy told them. "Oh. This can't be right." He looked up at them.

"Why? What is it?"

"This says that the call originated from a cell tower in… Paris, France."

* * *

><p>"Yo, Beckett."<p>

Kate turned and nodded at Esposito, and he beckoned her over. "What have you got?" she asked him, and he shook his head.

"Nothing, yet," he sighed. "Just checking in- you okay, Kate?"

"Sure," she said. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"You just look tired, that's all. Did you get home last night? Or did you sleep on the break room couch again?"

Beckett ducked her head. "No. I went home last night."

"Uh-huh." Esposito stared at her disbelievingly and she shrugged, folding her arms across her chest and staring him down defensively.

"I did," she insisted. "I left here at nine."

"Yeah, well, when this case is done you need to promise me you'll take a proper break- maybe take some of your vacation days."

"Who appointed you my keeper?" she asked him, and he grinned. "Lanie?" she asked, horrified. "What did Lanie say to you."

Esposito smiled, but his eyes were serious as he answered. "She's worried about you. Hell, I'm worried about you."

"Well, don't be," Beckett scowled. No matter how pissed she was by the way Lanie tried to manage her, she couldn't be mad at Esposito for pulling the big brother role, even if she was officially his boss. "Hey." She nudged him. "Harris is here. Let's go."

He leaned into her, knocking his shoulder into hers, and she smiled, following him into the meeting room where Castle and the El-Masris were waiting.

* * *

><p>"Did you get any sleep?" Beckett asked Castle after Agent Harris had briefed them all, and he shook his head as they trudged from the conference room, none the wiser to their next move.<p>

"Some. Not much."

"Well, everyone's been updated on the situation so you'll be able to get going again, get some rest."

Castle nodded but Kate saw an emptiness in his eyes and she pressed her lips together, not sure what to say next. To her surprise it was Castle who spoke again, breaking the tentative silence that had fallen between the pair.

"What about you- did you sleep after you left my place?"

Esposito was only a few feet away, and Beckett swore she could hear him raise his eyebrows behind her. She twisted around and glared at the detective before turning back to Castle. "Yeah," she told him. "I did. Some."

"So tell me, Detective Beckett," he started. "Do you get this involved with all your cases?"

Beckett shrugged. It was a good question. She had, once. Back when she'd first made detective, when she'd thought there was a crusade to be made. These days, though, one murder was much the same as another. She'd joined the force in a fit of determination and blind optimism, believed that she could beat on against the current. It had taken years for her tenacity to waver, but at thirty-two she was fast losing the confidence of youth.

Castle seemed to take her silence as an answer in itself; they had found themselves at her desk, and he sank into the chair beside it. "Do you have kids?" he asked and she frowned at him.

"Do I _look_ like I have kids?"

"Do _I_ look like I have a kid?" he retorted, and his tone softened. "She sounded so scared. I could hear it in her voice, just like when she was a little girl. And there was nothing I could do."

"You were there," Beckett told him. "And you answered."

Castle sighed, apparently ignoring her, his eyes glued to his daughter's photograph on the murder board. "You could have kids. Hell, you're a cop- anything's possible."

"_Excuse_ me?"

Castle looked at her for a moment before speaking, his voice tired and detached. "You shouldn't be a cop. I think you had options. Lots of options. Better options. More socially acceptable options. And you still chose this. That tells me something happened. Not to you- to someone you cared about. Someone you loved." He exhaled loudly, fixing his gaze back on the board.

"Cute trick." Beckett narrowed her eyes at him; that would have stung, once, but now… she sighed. Now, she was used to being a cop. Any other options she might have had were long gone.

"Sorry," he apologized, closing his eyes.

Beckett shook her head, softening. "No need to be sorry," she told him. "This is- I know it's a nightmare. Look- do you want a coffee?"

"Sure."

She stood, picking up her notes; he trailed after her as she led them into the break room. She poured him a cup and handed it to him before pouring one for herself and topping it up with the creamer on the counter.

He took it and put it down on the table, looking at her. "How often do you think you get the wrong guy?"

"What?"

"I- it must happen, right? Sometimes you must get the wrong guy. Do you think it happens a lot?"

"What's this all about?" she asked.

He shrugged. "You've chased a few leads, and none of them have panned out. But at some point, we're going to find something, right? But what if it's the wrong thing? What if you solve this- that murder- but you don't find Alexis? Does that mean you got the wrong guy for Farouk's murder?"

Kate's brow furrowed. "Sometimes we get the wrong guy," she admitted. "It happens." She smiled wryly, thinking back to the Tisdale case. Castle's copycat. They'd followed a few false leads that time. "We usually figure it out, though. And we're going to work this one through. Nobody is going to stop until we find her." She sighed, resting her hand on his before blinking and recoiling, blushing as she realized what she was doing. "Drink your coffee."

He took an obedient sip, his mouth curling in disgust as the liquid passed his lips. "You actually drink this?"

"What?" she asked. "Our coffee's not good enough for you now?" There was more venom in her voice than she'd intended, and she shook her head. She needed to sleep. "Sorry."

"It tastes like… a monkey peed in battery acid." Castle took another sip, grimacing. "It's fascinating."

Beckett rolled her eyes, and was saved from having to find a response; Agent Harris was beckoning from across the bullpen. "Come on," she said, tilting her head in Harris' direction, and Castle nodded, turning and heading over to the agent.

She took a sip of her own coffee, setting it back on the counter - and, okay, she could admit to herself that the precinct wasn't exactly known for great coffee - before following him out of the break room, only to be intercepted by the boys.

"After you left his _place_? Something you want to share with the class, Beckett?" Ryan asked with a smirk, trading glances with Esposito.

"What? I was _worried_," she defended.

"Uh-huh." Ryan and Esposito were eying each other suspiciously, and she could practically hear the cogs turning in their heads. "And you _worry_ about everyone we deal with enough to go around to their apartments?"

Beckett shook her head and narrowed her eyes at the boys. "Shut. It. I was working a case."

"Uh-huh-"

"You want me to bust you back to traffic?"

Esposito just laughed. "Come on. Let's go get caught up… on the case."

Beckett swiped at him with the folder in her hand, but followed him back into the meeting room for Harris' update.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I didn't get to thank you all individually this time, but I am seriously grateful for the reviews. Once again, K gave this a good beta read through... thank you. I then changed a ****_tonne_****, so mistakes are all mine! x**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

"Are you okay?" Beckett whispered, as she took a seat beside Castle.

"I will be," he murmured back. "If this works." She nodded, biting her lip and turning her attention to Harris.

Beckett watched Castle out of the corner of her eye as Harris went over the plan to rescue Alexis and Sara. For the first time she could see hope; he was sitting just a little taller, his strong frame a little less hunched as everything was set into motion. Apart from the fact a complete unprofessional was running point on the exchange this was all falling into place; ransom and meeting locations had come together, and she was starting to breath more easily.

She continued to watch Castle as they viewed the footage from Paris. She watched him as Lina El-Masri's brother Achmed arrived on the scene, and she watched him as she saw Achmed lead Sara to safety. And she watched Castle's face fall, a slow motion display of horror.

"Where's Alexis?"

She squeezed her eyes shut, and when she opened them again; all color, all life, was gone from Castle's face.

* * *

><p>Beckett leaned back in her chair in the meeting room, covering her eyes with her hands. She had to get his little girl back. She <em>had<em> to. She was so tired, but another sleepless night loomed, devoid of answers.

"Kate."

Her eyes flew open at Espo's intrusion into the meeting room. "What?"

"You should go." He nodded at her. "Get some sleep and you can start fresh in the morning. He needs you in this."

"He doesn't even know me- he needs his daughter," she mumbled, but she stood up; Esposito was right. Staying here was pointless. "Am I crazy?" she asked. She was. She knew it. This one was hitting her hard, way too hard; there was no logical explanation for the way she was crawling into this case like it was a personal vendetta.

"What?" Esposito shook his head, obviously not following.

"This… job. It makes you crazy. You and I both know that. People get burned out, people do stupid things. Why am I going after this one so hard? Why is _this_ one affecting me so much?"

"Apart from your crush-"

"Hey!" Kate cut him off with a raise of her hand, and Esposito shrugged apologetically.

"This one feels personal Kate, and that's okay. I don't know if it's because you like the guy's books, or if it's because you like the guy."

"I-" she started, but it was Esposito's turn to cut her off.

"Maybe it's just because we deal with homicide day in, day out, and in this kind of case, a kidnapping? There's hope."

She stared at him dully. "Why is hope so hard to deal with?"

Esposito shrugged again. "Go on home," he told her. "Get some sleep."

She nodded at him at last. "I'm going."

* * *

><p>Beckett raised her hand and knocked on the door to the loft, not even questioning why she'd ridden her bike here instead of to her own apartment. This wasn't what Esposito had meant by 'go home and sleep', but an internal autopilot had kicked in and she'd found herself turning into Broome Street before she could stop herself.<p>

Maybe she couldn't tell why she felt so involved in this case, but regardless, she was, and at this point she wasn't interested in fighting it. She just wanted to get Castle's daughter back.

Martha swung the door open before she had even dropped her hand, and Beckett smiled at her. "Hi, Mrs. Rodgers."

"Detective Beckett! Thank God. Is there any news?"

"Uh, no. Not yet. But we're doing everything that we can." Castle's mother stood aside and Kate stepped past her into the loft, looking around for Castle. This was silly- so late? He was probably trying to get some sleep.

"Well, where's Richard?" Martha asked.

"I thought that he was with you. I came here to… see him," Beckett trailed off.

"No!" his mother exclaimed. "He told me he was going to be with you, working on the case."

"Mrs. Rodgers, I haven't seen him all day!"

"Martha, dear."

"What?" Kate shook her head, but Martha ignored her, heading toward the office.

"Oh, no."

Beckett followed her. "What?"

"No." Martha rummaged through the desk drawer. "It's gone!"

"_What's_ gone?"

Martha ignored her again, picking up the phone and dialing. "Uh, it's so stupid. It's just- stupid."

"Martha," Kate tried the woman's first name. "What's going on?"

"Richard! Where are you?" Martha cried but she couldn't hear Castle's reply, just his mother's response. "Don't lie to me, Richard. Detective Beckett is _here_, and your passport is gone. Now, what the hell do you think you're doing?"

* * *

><p>"He says he's getting his daughter back," Beckett told the boys listlessly. They stared at her, lost for words.<p>

"Wow. Intense," Esposito said at last.

"Yeah, intense like Liam Neeson," Ryan agreed. "But the dude's barely Ashley Judd."

"Look, in the state that he's in who knows what he's capable of. But he says that he knows someone who can help." Kate shrugged. How did a _writer_ think he could pull something like this off?

"You gonna try and stop him?" Esposito asked, and Beckett shook her head.

"No. What can I do? I have no jurisdiction, no authority, no pull in _France_. Look, he's acting like a father and I have to act like a cop. You guys, I don't know who Castle thinks he knows, but let's find his daughter before he does something stupid and gets himself killed."

The boys nodded, and she watched them walk away. "It is kind of badass," she heard from Ryan, and she smiled grimly. Badass was fine, but if she found Alexis only to bring the girl home to a world without her father, she didn't think she could live with herself.

* * *

><p>"Beckett!"<p>

"Mmm?" Beckett turned to see Espo striding toward her.

"We broke the girlfriend," he told her, fire in his eyes, and her own widened in response.

"How?"

"Made her an offer she couldn't refuse," Esposito shrugged, and Beckett nodded. Sometimes it was better not to know.

"Anyway, we got an address and CSU are there now. They found a hard drive. Now, it's been wiped, but tech is confident they can get something."

"Okay. Let me know when they have something."

"Sure." Esposito paused. "Kate- are you okay? It's just- I know you like the guy but-"

"Like the guy? Espo, I barely _know_ the guy."

"You know what I mean," he said, and Kate shook her head. She didn't want to get into this. Not again. Not when she didn't know how she felt. Kidding from the boys yesterday had been one thing, but she was teetering on the edge now, past exhausted. She stood, stalking into the break room.

"I _don't_ know what you mean," she told him when she saw that Esposito had followed her. "I'm just trying to do my job, get his daughter back safely. And I'm _frustrated_, Espo." Kate reached for the coffee pot with shaking hands, and Esposito shot her a sharp look.

"God, Kate- have you eaten?"

"Yes," she snapped. "And you can tell Lanie I'm fine, by the way, when you report back to her." She regretted the words the instant they left her mouth; Espo wasn't the enemy, any more than Lanie was.

Esposito shook his head, reaching into the fridge for a quart of milk and pouring some into her cup. "Yeah," he agreed. "I'll do that. But listen, Kate- we'll solve this, okay?"

"Sure," she nodded, softening, and allowing herself a moment. She sipped the coffee, grimacing. "Sorry, Espo. I'm just- I don't know why this is getting to me so much."

Esposito shrugged and she glared at him.

"Don't start with me again," she warned him.

He just smirked and she smiled back, running her fingers through her hair and taking a deep breath. Teasing from Esposito was status quo, when it came down to it.

"Listen, Kate. We're gonna get through this. Through all of it. And then you, me and Lanie are all gonna go out for a drink, and after a couple of beers, we'll get you to confess to the giant crush you've got on Richard Castle."

Kate swatted at him, only half annoyed now; there weren't many people who could push her buttons the way Esposito did, but she appreciated that neither he or Ryan let her take herself too seriously. She grabbed one of the granola bars on the counter; Karpowski's, she thought with a wry smile, and unwrapped it, taking a bite.

"Detective Beckett," Eric called, and Beckett stuck her head out of the break room to see who was calling her. "I found something," he said, and she nodded, making her way back across the bullpen to the workroom where the tech guy was set up.

"What have you got?" she asked before she even made it into the room, and Eric looked at her grimly, clicking and pulling some photos onto the computer screen.

"Henson was looking at these. Surveillance photos."

Beckett felt her heart plummet; she barely noticed as Esposito rounded in beside her and took the coffee cup from her slack grasp before she could drop it. "Oh God. Alexis. She wasn't at the wrong place at the wrong time. She was the target."

"Update me, Beckett," Montgomery called from the elevator as he stepped onto the homicide floor, and Kate nodded, surprised to see the Captain for the first time today at - she glanced at her watch - eleven in the morning.

"Alexis was the target," she said, rising to greet him as he approached the murder board. "It was never about Sara El-Masri."

Montgomery frowned. "What would anybody want with Alexis Castle?"

"That's what we're trying to work out." She ran a tired hand through her hair. How on earth was Alexis Castle a target? And what was the El-Masri girl's role in all this? Was _she_ the mere bystander, a victim of opportunity the way they'd presumed Alexis to be?

"And you found out Rick Castle was in Paris when you went to his apartment? Last night?"

Kate nodded; this wasn't the ribbing of Ryan and Esposito; Montgomery didn't care why she'd gone to the loft. "Yeah. I went there to see Cas- Rick Castle, to check in. But when I got there his mother realized he was gone; he answered his cell phone when she called, but I haven't been able to reach him since. I searched his place myself."

At that point, searching Castle's place had been essential given the way he'd taken off. It was part of her job description to question whether he'd known more than he was letting on, although her gut told her his grief was entirely genuine; his shock at the entire situation had been incomparable.

"And? Anything?"

"Nothing," she said. A partial truth; she certainly hadn't found anything that would imply why Alexis had been taken. But she had seen inside Castle's bedroom, and that had her cheeks coloring; it was the perfect bachelor's bedroom- warm, muted colors, and bold animal prints. It had had a very masculine energy, and she'd opened two of his drawers before calling one of the officers in to go through his things; going through his underwear drawer had felt a touch too close to the wrong side of awkward.

Montgomery shook his head. "This just gets stranger and stranger," he said, his eyes clouding with confusion. "And Richard Castle think he's got the contacts in Paris to get his daughter back himself?"

Kate closed her eyes, her index finger and thumb finding their way to the bridge of her nose. Apparently, yes, that was Castle's plan. And she couldn't think of a single way this could end in anything but disaster.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: A few people wondered why I was only posting every three days when the whole thing is written and "supposedly" edited, and well, here's the deal... as I edited, I edited the whole thing all together, and now I realize that I need to look at each chapter individually too. I'd like to think the story is becoming stronger for it. Also... some people wondered if Beckett would go to Paris... I wish she had... but, um, as you see? She didn't. Sorry! Thanks, Kylie, for looking this chapter over for me more than once! x**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

"How are you holding up, Kate?" Lanie asked, and Beckett shrugged.

"Fine." She knew her smile didn't reach her eyes though, and she reached for the bottle of wine on her counter. Pouring two glasses, she handed one to her friend with a sigh. "Lanie- I don't really want to talk about it. We've been two steps behind on this entire case, and I'm tired of thinking about how screwed up the whole thing is. I tried calling him all day, and when he finally answered, the phone cut out before I could tell him anything. It just died. Nobody's heard from him since. I don't know if he's in danger, but I do know he's in over his head. So- let's just leave it. There's nothing I can do right now."

Lanie nodded. "Sure." She took her glass of wine and headed into the living room, settling back onto the sofa, beckoning Kate to join her.

Beckett did so reluctantly; this impromptu meet up hadn't exactly been her idea, but she hadn't caught up with Lanie in weeks. "So, what's going on with you?" she asked, hoping to turn the tables.

The ME obliged with a grin. "Things have been going well since Valentine's Day-"

"What, a week?" Kate raised her eyebrows.

"Hey!" Lanie chided. "A week without me and Javi having a discussion about the status of our relationship? That's some kind of record. Anyway, girl, I don't see you indulging in any fairy-tale romance at the moment. Until you can tell me you're doing better, I'll thank you to hold your judgment."

"I'm not," Kate agreed, "I'm not doing any better at all."

"Motorcycle man really did a number on you, didn't he?"

Beckett sipped her wine thoughtfully. "I don't know, Lanie. I mean, I liked him. I really did. But not enough"

"Uh-huh." Lanie looked at her skeptically, and Kate flinched. "Because-" she put her glass down and checked each point off on her fingers. "Doctor. Hot. Good in bed- he was good in bed, wasn't he?"

Kate laughed. "Yes." Yeah. He had been really good in bed. "But that's not enough, Lanie. In the end he was off saving the world more often than he was in New York. I don't know. Maybe it's me."

Lanie laughed too, picking up her wine glass again and finishing it. "Kate Beckett, it's definitely you. I just can't work out what you're waiting for. Josh didn't understand being a cop. Tom was too much of a cop. Will was a fed and he hated cops-"

"Okay, okay. Jeez, Lanie. Can we talk about Espo again? Please? Or- I don't know- something else?" Kate rolled her eyes.

"Sure. Unless you've changed your mind and you want to talk about tall, dark and brooding?"

Kate fixed her friend with a look and Lanie raised a hand in defense.

"Fine. But Beckett- the man's terrified, absolutely petrified, worried about his missing baby, and when I saw him you were all he could look at. And do you know how he looked at you, Kate?"

"How was that, Lanie?"

"He looked at you like he was drowning, and you were dry land."

* * *

><p>"Beckett."<p>

Kate answered her phone with the practiced moves of someone who was awoken by the shrill sound of her cell on a regular basis; her hand darted out from beneath the covers and she pulled it to her ear swiftly.

At this time of night she expected dispatch, or maybe one of the boys, and she sighed softly as she was greeted with silence on the other end. "Beckett," she said again, lifting the cell so she could peer at the caller ID. In the dark of her bedroom the screen was jarringly bright and she squinted.

Huh.

An international number; Beckett's heartbeat quickened, and she tried a third time. "Beckett. Hello?"

"Beckett!" She exhaled in relief as she recognized the voice on the other end. "Beckett, it's Rick. It's Castle. I found her, Beckett, I got her."

"Oh, God," she exhaled. "Rick. Thank God. Are you okay? Is Alexis okay?"

"We're okay," he assured her, his voice sounding distant and tinny. Well, she reminded herself, he was an ocean away. "We're at the airport. We're coming home."

"Thank goodness," she breathed. "Castle- I'm so glad."

"Me too, Beckett," he told her. "Listen, they're calling our flight- I'll see you when we get back."

"Okay," she agreed. "Have a safe flight."

She heard him end the call and she stared at the phone in her hand as her heart thumped erratically in her chest. It was one in the morning. The flight from Paris was six or seven hours, she estimated. Soon. He'd be home soon. She took a deep breath, replacing the cell on the nightstand, and forcing her eyes closed. She needed to sleep.

* * *

><p>Beckett raised her hand and knocked. Third time in as many days, she realized, and she grinned wryly. She heard footsteps and smiled when Martha opened the door again.<p>

"Detective Beckett, hello."

"Hi, Martha," Kate said. "Rick called me last night-"

"Of course, of course," Martha nodded, cutting her off, and folding her into a hug. She returned the embrace awkwardly. "Come in," Martha encouraged after she released her.

Beckett followed her through the front door, looking around. "They're… not here yet?"

"No," Martha shook her head. "Richard just called. They've had some delays at the airport but they won't be far away." She headed toward the kitchen and Kate found herself following the woman. "Now, I was just preparing breakfast for them- there are special pancakes that Richard makes. I can never seem to get the recipe just right, though." She gestured helplessly at the array of ingredients on the counter and Kate grinned to herself, remembering Castle's comment about his mother's cooking skills.

"Let me see if I can help," she offered and Martha nodded.

"That would be lovely dear," she agreed. "I'll put the coffee on."

Kate smiled as she combined the flour and the milk, cracking an egg skillfully and stirring. "Do you have vanilla essence?" she asked Martha, and the red-head shrugged, handing her a coffee.

"Try in there?" She gestured to the pantry and Kate took a sip from her cup. Wow. She gasped, nearly spitting it out. Where did Castle get off complaining about the precinct coffee, she wondered, if this was the kind of brew his mother made? "You might want to add chocolate chips," Martha added, oblivious to Kate's distaste for her coffee. "Richard likes to use them to make smiley faces for Alexis."

Kate hid her grin as she mixed the batter. Richard Castle; debonair mystery writer, gracing page six every few weeks, or Richard Castle; devoted family man? No, the man in the tabloids was not the man she'd met in the last couple of days. An adoring father - who made smiley faces on his teenage daughter's pancakes - was the last thing she had imagined whenever she'd scanned the papers and seen his name splashed across the gossip columns.

She busied herself with preparing a tray to carry across to the table; as well as vanilla essence a look in the pantry had revealed a variety of coffee flavorings, and she pulled them all out; surely a dash of one of the syrups would help make Martha's coffee a little more drinkable? The door handle turned, and Beckett looked up from the counter in anticipation, watching as Martha flew across the room, swooping on the teenager entering the loft.

"Oh, you're back! You're back!"

Alexis let her grandmother fold her into an embrace. "It's okay, Gram. I'm okay," she assured Martha, and Castle moved in to hug the two of them.

Kate swallowed. This was a private moment; she shouldn't be here. She shuffled awkwardly, contemplating how she was going to sneak out without interrupting, when Alexis looked up, spotting her for the first time.

"Hey…?"

"Oh! Darling," Martha said, addressing Rick. "Detective Beckett stopped by… to check on you," she finished, and Kate frowned at the way Martha's eyes lit up.

"Beckett?" Castle whirled around, his face lighting up too, and Kate blushed.

"Hey," she greeted him, biting her lip. "How are you doing?"

"Good," he assured her. "So good." He was beaming, and Beckett could see the part of him that had been absent during the last few days; a spark was alight in his eyes.

"Dad?" Alexis asked. "Do we need to speak to the police already?"

"Oh," Kate said, forcing herself to move at last. Leaving the safety of the kitchen she came into the living area to greet the girl properly. "No. I'm- I was working the case, but I'm not- I just came to see how you all were. You'll need to come down to the station later, make a statement, but not right away. No rush." She shrugged. "I'm going to go, now," she finished lamely.

"Detective Beckett was the best on the case," Castle told his daughter as though she hadn't said a word, and Kate looked at him, astonished by the beam of pride on his face. He turned back to Kate, apparently taking in her words a split second later. "You're going?" His face fell.

"I have to go to work," she told him, glancing at her watch. His eyes followed her gaze and he shook his head.

"You can't be late?"

"Yes, Detective," Martha encouraged, "After all, you prepared the pancake batter- the least we can do is make sure you eat some."

"You did?" Alexis' eyes widened, and Kate grinned.

"I did," she told the girl.

She glanced back at Castle, uncertain, rolling her eyes as he mouthed 'thank you' to her, and she relented with a smirk; going in late today wouldn't be the end of the world.

"And who made the coffee?" Castle asked, grinning at Beckett as he strode into the kitchen.

"I did," Martha volunteered.

Kate's lips curved into a wry smile at Castle's response. "I'll just make a fresh pot."

* * *

><p>"You went to the man's house for breakfast?"<p>

"No! Lanie, I went there to make sure they got home safely, and I happened to stay for breakfast. It's completely different!"

"Uh-huh. Well, all I'm seeing from here is a personal involvement in this case that I haven't seen since you and Will found that little girl."

"Thanks, Lanie." Kate rolled her eyes and looked desperately around the bullpen, looking for an excuse to get off the phone. She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Ryan frantically gesturing at her. "Listen, Lanie, I gotta go." She swiped her finger across the screen to end the call and stuck the phone in her jacket pocket, nodding at Ryan and crossing the bullpen to where he stood.

"What's up?" she asked, and he pointed toward to elevator.

"Your boy is here. And he's got company."

Beckett whirled around. Sure enough, Castle was striding through the bullpen, his daughter trailing closely after him. That wasn't the surprise though. After all, she'd asked them to come in and make a statement. But behind the two Castles delivery men were pushing a trolley. "Just through here," he directed them, and she watched, stunned, as he led them into the break room, looking for all the world like he owned the place.

Beckett and Ryan stared through the windows as the men unloaded the box onto the table, and then at Castle as he pointed at the counter. "Hey, Beckett!" he called, turning from the delivery guys and popping his head around the break room door. "Come see what I got for you!"

"What you got for us?" Kate asked dumbly, following Ryan into the break room.

"Yeah, what I got for you," he replied brightly. "Hey, Detective Ryan, this is my daughter, Alexis."

Alexis smiled and shook Ryan's hand.

"I'm not letting her out of my sight," Castle told Beckett, pulling his daughter to him in a one armed hug. "Now, look!" He pointed; the two delivery men had finished unpacking the large box, unveiling a coffee machine. "You don't have to drink that sludge anymore," he said to her, pride evident in his voice, and Beckett shook her head.

"Really? You got us a coffee machine? You can't just bring us a coffee machine," she protested, and he chuckled.

"I can, and I did, Detective."

"He can," Alexis confirmed, escaping from her father's grasp and stepping forward to open the first bag of coffee beans, spilling them into the grinder at the top of the machine.

Beckett shook her head. "I don't think I even know how to use it."

"Use what?" Esposito asked, joining them in the break room. From behind him, Montgomery peered over his shoulder. "Wow, man," he nodded at Castle. "Impressive."

"Impressive, indeed," the Captain agreed, reaching out and shaking Castle's hand. "Glad to see you and Alexis safely home."

"Thanks, Roy," Castle said, clapping the Captain on the back in an open gesture of camaraderie and Beckett smiled. Her Captain looked relaxed again today and she was glad that whatever tension had been hanging over his head during the last fortnight seemed to have dissipated.

"So, Beckett, your complaints about the coffee here can finally stop," Esposito said, giving Beckett a friendly punch on the arm.

"I have no idea how to use it," she protested again.

"What, you never worked in a cafe? Never had to jump behind the coffee machine if things got busy?" Ryan asked, and Beckett frowned at him.

"No. You?"

"Sure," he nodded. "I waited tables right through high school and college, made my share of espressos. Got plenty of practice over the years. Plus, one of our wedding presents was an espresso maker and Jenny likes it when I make her coffee. Ours has nothing on this one though. What about you, man?" he asked Esposito.

"Nah, man. I pulled beers the summer I was sixteen, that's about it."

Kate raised her eyebrows at the assertion.

"I did!" Esposito insisted. "You grow up where I did, you take whatever chance you get to make some cash."

"Work ethic. I like it," Castle nodded. "What was your part time job, Beckett, when you were in college? Did you wait tables? Work retail?"

Beckett shook her head. "I'll never tell," she said.

"Oh, really, Beckett? Because I have your dad's number, you know," Esposito teased, and Beckett scowled at him.

"You wouldn't," she hissed, and he laughed.

"Come on, Beckett, tell us?" Castle whined, and she laughed, saved by the chime of her cell phone.

"Nope. I gotta go," she said, looking at the message on the screen. "But thanks for the coffee machine. Ryan, Espo, body uptown."

"I guess this is goodbye, then," Castle said, and Beckett nodded. She felt rooted to the spot, unable to walk away, even as the others slipped out of the room.

"Guess so," she agreed at last, and Castle took a step toward her.

"Thank you," he said, leaning toward her and pressing a soft kiss to her cheek. "Really."

Kate took a hasty step back; this was too much, way too much, and in the precinct break room of all places. "You're welcome," she told him inanely, unable to come up with anything better, and he smiled at her.

"Yo, Beckett? You coming?" Esposito called, and she shrugged apologetically, suddenly very uncomfortable, and she moved toward the door, raising her hand in farewell.

"Thanks for bringing us the coffee machine."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Your reviews make me stupidly happy. Thank you. And thanks K, for the read-throughs! x**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

Sleep wasn't coming easy to Beckett, and she stared at the ceiling. A week after Alexis had been found, and she was still seeing Castle's blue eyes every time she closed her own. She pulled her pillow over her head in frustration.

It wasn't like she'd exactly had a whole lot of time to dwell this week, either. She'd taken statements from both Castle and Alexis the day after they'd brought the coffee machine in; Castle had been evasive and Alexis had been practically monosyllabic. She'd dismissed their vague answers as a consequence of exhaustion, but they'd both hurried out of the precinct and none of the good humor of the day before had been apparent; she'd been left staring after them wondering just how traumatized the two of them were.

Ugh. She needed to get him out of her mind. There was a part of her that was tempted to call him, but she'd stopped that thought, telling herself he wouldn't exactly want to be reminded of the case.

Between filing the Roger Henson murder as a cold case, and chasing leads in the latest homicide, she'd barely been home, hadn't had time to blink. By all rights she shouldn't have had time to reflect on the stint she'd spent with Castle. She swung her legs over the edge of the bed, at last. If she wasn't going to be able to sleep she could at least enjoy the late evening. She padded out of her bedroom, settling herself in front of her bookshelf.

Huh. Maybe this wasn't such a bright idea; even here she was haunted by thoughts of Castle. Beckett grimaced as she ran a fingertip across the three books that had come out since _Derrick Storm_ had met his demise; _Gun shy_, _Holy Cross_, and her least favorite, the _Clara Strike _standalone, _Struck Out_, were all pale imitations of his better work, lacking the passion of his earlier novels.

She narrowed her eyes at the bookshelf; she needed to get him out of her head. After all, their paths may have crossed briefly, but they had nothing in common. He probably hadn't given her another thought since he'd left the precinct last week.

No doubt he was returning to his practiced role of playboy, gracing page six. She shrugged to herself. Maybe the side of him that she'd seen during the case had been a mask of shock. Maybe the real Richard Castle was indeed the one who played up to the press and took a different woman to every event.

Exhaling angrily, Beckett replaced _Storm Fall _on the shelf and reached for her battered copy of _At Dusk We Die_; she opened it and smiled softly at the signature on the inside cover. Whatever her conflicted thoughts on the author, this one was special to her. She had stood in line for an hour for the chance to meet Richard Castle and get that autograph, back when she'd been an officer, fresh faced and newly in a relationship with Will Sorenson.

Resigning herself to reading this one, she smiled in spite of herself and padded back to bed, flipping her bedside lamp on, and letting the familiar words wash over her.

* * *

><p>The next week sped by and Beckett did her best to throw herself into the case at hand, making time to tear shreds off Ryan and his refusal to watch a DVD he claimed was haunted.<p>

"Jenny and I, we're trying to make a baby," he explained. "So we're abiding by every superstition in the book."

Beckett rolled her eyes and glanced at Esposito. Spotting reluctance in his expression, she narrowed her eyes at him; she didn't need two people declining to investigate the case properly. "Don't start," she warned, and he shrugged, accepting defeat.

The investigation devolved into a multiple homicide and Beckett found herself craving her apartment, her bed, her solitude, and by now, even her own coffee machine. Every time she made her way into the break room she was confronted by the beast that Castle had left there, and no matter how good the coffee was - and it was good. So, so good. Like drinking liquid gold, she thought with a satisfied smile - she just couldn't get the hang of the steamer. Ryan, of course, had been on hand to rescue her from a disaster more than once.

After the third incident she'd taken to drinking her coffee black, or adding a splash of creamer, scowling at the steamer in an uneasy standoff between detective and machine.

* * *

><p>Kate managed to pull herself away from the precinct at a reasonable hour the day they closed the case, and she made her way across town to her Dad's place. He no longer lived in the apartment she'd grown up in, and she knocked on his door, unwilling to use the key in her purse out of a principle that had become a habit. She'd lived here while she was looking for a decent apartment when she'd started on the force; she'd hated every second of being crammed into what had been a dank two bedroom apartment.<p>

These days, she reflected, as her dad let her in with a gentle hug, the place was meticulous even if it didn't feel like home. The smaller second bedroom that she'd inhabited for six grim months had been transformed into a study from where Jim worked from home several days a week. He'd fixed the whole apartment up, bringing it in line with the other nicer places in this building and it was, in fact, reminiscent of the place she'd been brought up in, with its light carpets and solid Scandinavian furniture. Not quite the eclectic look that Kate preferred, but many of the pieces here now were the antiques that her mom had collected over the years that her dad had reclaimed from his storage unit.

"What's new, Katie?" Jim asked when they were seated at the small kitchen table; this particular piece of furniture hadn't been in their family home, that dining table had been far too big for the space here.

"Um." Kate wound the spaghetti around her fork, wondering if her father did, in fact, know how to cook anything other than pasta. He always insisted on a home cooked meal for her when she came over, but she silently questioned his repertoire as she considered what to tell him. "We had a case this week that involved-" she put down her fork, raising her hand to make mocking quotation marks- "a '_haunted'_ DVD."

"Huh." Jim chuckled. "You still get all the interesting cases, don't you?"

She laughed. "Seems like it. And get this, Dad," she said. "Ryan refused to watch the DVD, says he can't afford the bad luck right now."

Jim shook his head and laughed. "You have a good team," he told her. "I hate thinking of you out there on your own. Still, it makes it a little easier knowing they've got your back."

"They do," she said.

"And what about Esposito? You and him? You two ever think about-"

Kate snorted, grateful she didn't have a mouthful of pasta. "Dad! Esposito is in- well, I don't know what it is. Some kind of on and off relationship with _Lanie_."

"Oh." Her father had the grace to look abashed.

"Yeah," she muttered.

"Well, you can't blame me for trying. I just want to see you happy, Katie, and I thought things were going so well with that doctor-"

Kate rolled her eyes. Next time she wasn't going to even consider bringing a guy home if she hadn't been in a solid relationship for at least a year; her father had met Josh _once_ and hadn't shut up about the man since. "I know you liked him, Dad," she said, fixing her father with a look. "But _I_ didn't. Not enough."

"I just don't want you to be lonely," he said, and she shrugged, pushing her plate away, suddenly not hungry.

"I'm not," she lied, looking anywhere but at her father; the landscape print on the wall had suddenly become very interesting.

"I just want you to have what your mother and I had," he continued, as though she hadn't spoken.

"Look how that ended," she said, her voice low.

"Hey." Jim's voice was sharp. "I loved your mother. _Loved _her. Still do. And if I had to relive that night again, a hundred times, I'd do it, because what we had was worth it."

Kate blinked, and forced herself to reach back for her plate, winding more spaghetti onto her fork before speaking. "I miss her."

"Me too, Sweetie, me too," Jim assured her, and she looked at him at last, surprised to see his eyes clear and dry.

"I still- I wonder, you know? If she would be disappointed? Because I couldn't solve her case?"

Jim shook his head, reaching across the table and catching Kate's wrist. "Where is this coming from?" he demanded. "You-" He looked at her, his expression suddenly weary. "You gave it up. You told me that years ago. So what's brought this on?"

Kate tapped her fork against her plate, considering. "I was involved in a case, recently. A kidnapping. Where _nothing_ added up. Nothing. And the father- he was beside himself. And I just- I promised him I would find her. That promise wasn't mine to make. I know that," she said, berating herself rather than sharing her work with her father. "But you know what? I didn't do a thing. I chased leads that went nowhere for _days_ and in the end-"

"It ended badly," her father finished.

"What? No," Kate clarified. "No, in the end, we got some information that was basically useless, but the father, well, he took that, and he took his life in his hands, and he flew half way around the world and he got his daughter back."

Jim beamed at her, relief evident in his expression, and Kate managed a small smile in return. "There's nothing a parent wouldn't do. But Katie?"

She nodded, unable to make herself speak, concentrating instead on the pasta in front of her.

"Don't think for a second that your mom would be anything other than proud of you, for everything you've done, everything you do. You don't need to solve her case. We don't need that anymore, Kate."

Kate shrugged. Her father might not need that anymore, but lately the flame of justice that she'd thought dormant? It was burning inside her.

Kate pushed her plate away for a second time; she'd managed to finish her dinner after all. But she seriously needed to spend some more time here. Maybe teach her dad how to cook something new, something simple perhaps? Maybe he could handle a stir fry? She blinked, desperate to change the subject.

"Hey, Dad?"

Jim nodded, and she smiled; it was time to start living in the present. Instead of reverting to old patterns and over thinking her mom's case she needed to move forward with her life, and instead of staring at her bookshelf and obsessing about Castle she needed to actually pick up the phone and see how he was doing.

Tomorrow, she promised herself. She would call him tomorrow.

She may not have been a catalyst in solving the case, but all things being equal, it had ended well. She let a hint of pride bleed into her voice. "The father, the other week? It was that author I like. I worked a case to get Richard Castle's daughter back."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Sorry that this chapter was Castle-free- hope it helps that he was on Kate's mind the whole time! Thanks, Kylie, for beta-ing, and especially for your Twitter DM beta which was… brutal but necessary! Above and beyond! Mwah! x**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

The bullpen was as close to silent as it ever got, the white board blank. A morning of paperwork was Beckett's worst nightmare, but she supposed if they didn't have a body drop she'd at least get home at a reasonable hour. And, she reminded herself, she was going to call Castle today. Meanwhile, there were a stack of cold cases she needed to run through; unsolved from as early as the 1970s.

She sighed. Looking over cases that were older than she was took a special kind of patience, one that she didn't think she had today. She forced herself, every time, though, to do a thorough review; one day her mom's case would land on someone's desk and in spite of her father's assurance last night that he didn't need closure, she would want that cop to give it the respect it deserved.

She heard Esposito's chuckle break the quiet, and she lifted her gaze from the documents in front of her to look around. Ryan sat at his desk opposite her, but his partner was nowhere to be seen.

Standing up, Beckett made for the source of his laughter, peeking around the corner into the break room. Huh. Castle was at the coffee machine, apparently teaching Esposito how to make a latte. She stayed silent for a moment, watching.

"So… you and Beckett?" Castle asked, and Esposito snorted, causing the coffee in his hands to spill.

"Me and Beckett? No way." Esposito shook his head vehemently, and Kate rolled her eyes. Well, that was flattering. Espo could try being a little less affronted by the question. "She's like my sister, man."

Castle nodded, apparently intent upon steaming the milk. "Okay. So do you know if she's seeing anyone?"

Esposito shook his head. "Nope. She had a doctor boyfriend a while back but that ended about six months ago."

Kate scowled. She had to put an end to this before Esposito went too far. She cleared her throat and the two men spun around in time to see her stride into the room.

Both of them had good grace to look at her guiltily, but Castle recovered more quickly, beaming at her. "Detective Beckett! I just came by to make sure you guys were all properly caffeinated." He moved to hand her the latte he'd just finished making, but stopped, pulling back and setting the mug on the counter. "Hold on." He reached for the vanilla syrup on the shelf above the machine, squirting in a generous quantity and she cocked her head. Had he been paying attention at his place the other week, when she'd stayed for breakfast? Or was it a lucky guess?

"Thanks," she said, accepting the cup from him when he held it out to her a second time and she smiled as she took a sip, grateful for the caffeine hit. "How's Alexis?" she asked, and Castle shrugged as he made himself a coffee.

Esposito grinned, grabbing his own cup and making for the door, winking at Beckett. "Thanks for the coffee, bro," he said to Castle, and the writer nodded at him before turning back to Kate.

"She's… okay. I think. I've been wanting to call you, but we just got back. We've been out of the city to decompress a little, and she hasn't gone back to college yet- I guess that's normal?"

Kate shrugged. Not like she knew a lot about teenagers, but she guessed she could remember being an eighteen-year-old girl. At the very least she could remember all too clearly what it was like to be nineteen and the victim of a trauma for the first time. She'd been desperate for familiarity and had refused to go back to Stanford. Of course, it had been futile, because after her mom's death there was no solace to be found.

"I think it's normal," she assured him. "She just wants to be close to home. Be safe."

Castle nodded, sitting at the table and beckoning Beckett to join him.

"I know a therapist," she offered, before shaking her head at herself. Since when did she offer up personal information that could lead to more personal questions?

Castle looked at her, apparently sizing up her statement. "That might be useful. Unless- and I'm just going to go with the assumption that you heard me talking to Esposito before- unless the therapist you know is the doctor you used to date?"

Beckett raised her eyebrows. "I was going to pretend I didn't hear that conversation," she told him, and he smirked.

"You were pretending very discreetly," he assured her with a grin, and she blushed, running her hand though her hair and pushing some of the dark strands in front of her face.

Beckett pressed her lips together. "He wasn't," she said. "The… therapist- he isn't the guy I used to date." She stopped herself from saying 'my' therapist, but Castle shot her an appraising side long look.

"Stop not asking."

"Noted." Castle held up his hands in an expression of innocence.

"I'll get you his number, then."

Castle nodded. "Thank you." He took another sip of his coffee. "Actually- there was kind of another reason I stopped by," he told her.

"Apart from teaching Esposito how to make coffee?"

"Hey, I would have taught you, but Esposito and I caught the elevator up together." He chuckled. "No, I came here to… well, to ask you out."

"Me?" Beckett blinked, then stared at him.

"Well, uh, yeah." Castle looked around. "I mean, I don't see Esposito or Ryan here. So yeah, pretty sure it was you I was wanting to ask out."

Kate ducked her head again, and bit her lip. "I'm a bit different to the girls you usually date, though, right?"

"Why, Detective. Have you been googling me?"

Kate rolled her eyes. "You know we had a case a few years ago? You had a copycat? I… became _familiar_ with your reputation then."

"Yeah, that was awful," he said, nodding. "My publishers told me about it when I got back from the book tour I was on."

"It was pretty horrible," Kate agreed, but Castle shook his head.

"No, I mean, it was awful that I was out of the country and couldn't help with the case."

"Seriously?" Beckett looked at him. "You would have _helped_ with the case."

"Sure," he grinned, his eyes lighting up. "After all, not every mystery writer gets a copycat- I told Patterson and Connelly about it, but how cool would it have been if I'd had crime scene pictures to show them at my poker game?" Castle beamed at her and she shook her head. "So, back to my question. Can I take you out for dinner later this week?"

Kate wrinkled her nose, trying to decide. On the one hand, as she'd been considering last night, she was all too aware of his reputation. And frankly, she had been for years before the Tisdale case. On the other hand, she'd certainly seen a softer side to him, one she doubted many people were privy to, and perhaps that was the real Castle. And he wasn't creeped out by her career, which was an advantage. Although, if the glint in his eye was anything to go by, it was possible he was just a little too turned on by it.

Castle tapped his fingers on the table, drumming lightly, and Kate smiled, realizing; he was nervous. Richard Castle was asking her out and he was actually nervous about it.

"Sure," she agreed, and he wiggled his eyebrows at her. "But I'm on call every night this week, so I might need to take a rain check."

* * *

><p>Beckett switched her computer on early in the morning after yet another sleepless night and buried her head in her hands, knocking over the small elephant on her desk with her elbow.<p>

She'd been called in three nights in a row and thanks to the combination of early starts and late nights she'd texted Castle each time to cancel; no matter how easy-going he was each time she postponed their date a nagging voice inside her mind insisted he wouldn't wait forever, no matter their connection.

And they had had a connection, and she didn't want to deny it. As much as she didn't want to admit it to herself or Lanie, she was tired of coming home to an empty apartment. The job wasn't enough anymore; she wanted someone to share it with. That was why it hadn't worked out with Josh; he had been so wrapped up in his own career, his own trips around the globe, and she hadn't been able to compete.

Not that he'd been able to compete either; she'd never put him first, never dropped a case on his behalf. Never hesitated when faced with a choice between staying warm in bed, or getting up to chase a lead.

"Yo, Beckett," Esposito greeted her as she hurried to right the figurine, a latte unceremoniously deposited onto her desk.

"What's this for?" she asked, accepting the take-away cup, and he grimaced, tossing her the newspaper in his hand.

"Page six," he said, indicating the paper with a dip of his head.

"Sorry, Beckett," Ryan added, coming up behind her desk, and she turned, scowling at the pair of them.

"What?" she growled, opening the paper. A sinking feeling was settling in her stomach, and as she flicked through to page six she knew just who she was going to see there.

Sure enough; staring back at her, his arm wrapped around a buxom blond, was Richard Castle.

_Fuck_. Kate grimaced, then looked up at the boys; their sympathetic looks jarring her. Hell, she had no claim on the man. If he couldn't wait a couple of days for a date, she wasn't going to lose any sleep over him. "Tell me we've got a body."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Um. Yeah. Pitchforks, anyone? Thanks for the beta, K! **


	10. Chapter 10

**Part Two**

**Chapter Ten**

Beckett smiled to herself; she had an entire Thursday off, and not a single plan. It might have been midweek, but not being on call during the week? That meant it was her weekend. She lay in bed as long as she could stand it, until coffee's siren song was a stronger call than her own desire to laze the day away. She swung her legs over the edge of the bed, padding toward the kitchen and switching the machine on.

She leaned against the counter, coffee in hand, contemplating her day. She desperately needed to do both laundry and grocery shopping, but neither option particularly appealed. Still, if the chores weren't done now, they wouldn't be done at all during the next week, and laundry at least was becoming a necessity. Groceries, however, could wait; she lived in New York and if ordering in was the only way she was going to eat, so be it.

With a shrug of her shoulders she set her phone into the speaker dock, turning Arcade Fire up as loudly as she could without disturbing her neighbors; noise seemed to travel in spite of the thick walls in the old building. She stripped the bed, dumping the sheets into the wash and remaking it with a fresh set, pausing only to refill her coffee mug and pull some bread from the freezer.

She smothered the toast in strawberry jelly and ate in her study nook, her feet curled beneath her as she looked around her apartment. She loved it here; had loved this loft since the moment she'd seen it. And happily, it was rent-controlled, and even at the beginning of her career as an officer, she'd been able to afford it. Although, she mused, thinking back to her early days on the force, she would have probably paid market price and gone into debt if it had meant getting out of her father's place; Kate had hated every second of watching her father spiral downhill in a destructive deluge of alcoholism.

She ran her fingertip around the face of the watch she'd worn for the last ten years and smiled; she was proud of her father, she really was. She just hoped he was proud of her too. All these years a detective, and she hadn't even come close to unraveling the mystery that surrounded her mother's death. Of course, her father was adamant that he wanted her to let the case go, had said as much last time she'd seen him, but she wondered if they wouldn't both be happier if they had closure.

Standing again, Kate carried her plate into the kitchen, leaving it on the counter along with her empty coffee mug. Laundry was started, and it was close to midday; time to leave the apartment and enjoy the sunlight.

* * *

><p>Kate meandered; a weekend meant flat shoes and a chance to be one of the mass of weaving pedestrians instead of the cop in heels flying through the crowd. A weekend meant jeans and soft sweaters and scarves, and a bare minimum of make-up. A weekend meant freedom.<p>

Kate made her way through the streets of Manhattan, smiling at the sight of tourists and locals alike, a throbbing mass of life, even on a Thursday morning when the nine to fivers were at work. She stopped a few times to look up; she may have been Manhattan born and bred, but Kate liked the way she could feel like a tourist herself if she simply looked up and let herself stand in awe of the skyscrapers.

An hour later and she'd found herself close to Times Square; walking up Fifth Avenue she'd passed the public library and eventually found herself in the Barnes and Noble; she figured she could always relieve her wallet of a few twenties and bring some more books home.

She drifted aimlessly for a while, eventually finding herself in the design section flipping through coffee table books before moving toward the art books.

"Beckett?"

Kate whirled around. "Castle!" She frowned. What on earth was Castle doing here? "Are you following me?" she demanded, and he laughed.

"I should be asking you that," he told her with a smirk.

"What?" Kate dumped her books onto the armchair by one of the shelves and put her hands on her hips. "Why would I be following you?"

"I-" Castle hesitated, looking at her with confusion, before gesturing down the stairs behind her, toward the fiction section. "I'm here for a signing."

"Son of a-" Kate swore softly under her breath, eliciting another chuckle from Castle.

"Why, Detective, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you were avoiding me." His gaze met hers and he looked at her through narrowed eyes. "In fact," he continued, "I do know better. I'm sure you're avoiding me. Why else would you have missed half a dozen calls and refused to answer any of my many texts?"

"You're just not used to women turning you down," she told him abruptly, and he shook his head.

"You'd be surprised," he told her, his sudden honesty disarming her. "But I am surprised that you went from making eyes at me over coffee at the precinct to declining my calls."

"I did _not_ make eyes at you," she protested. "I _didn't_!"

"Right-"

"Rick?" They were interrupted by a tall brunette. "Rick, your reading starts now, you need to-" she looked Kate up and down- "stop chatting up women and come over to the signing table."

Castle sighed. "Paula, I'd like you to meet Detective Kate Beckett. Beckett, this is Paula Haas, my agent."

"Detective." Paula's demeanor changed immediately and she smiled warmly, taking Kate's hand in her own. "I cannot tell you how good it is to meet you- you're all Rick has been talking about since that horrible business with his daughter."

"Uh- right." Kate allowed herself to be swept up in Paula's surprisingly weak handshake, unwilling to challenge the suddenly gracious woman by putting any strength into her own grip.

"_Talking_ about me?" she mouthed at Castle, and he shrugged, suddenly evasive and unable to meet her eyes.

"Well, I, uh-" Castle shrugged, indicating with a slight dip of his head that he was ready to make his way over to the signing table.

"Right," Kate said. "Right."

Paula nodded, misunderstanding. "We're right behind you, Rick," she said, nodding at Kate as though she expected Beckett to follow her and Kate clenched her teeth, considering. Right.

"Let's go," she agreed, and she chuckled as she saw Rick's double take.

"I don't even know what book he's promoting," Kate whispered to Paula, and his publicist beamed, apparently happy to clarify.

"_A winter to die_," she told Kate. "It's his latest."

"Oh. Right." Kate shook her head. Of course. She'd pre-ordered hers ages ago, but in the haze and confusion of meeting the man himself, she'd completely forgotten about it; her copy was probably languishing behind the counter of her local bookstore.

* * *

><p>Beckett clapped with everyone else when Castle finished his (in her opinion overly dramatic) reading, watching with keen eyes as the crowd - mostly women with perky boobs and low-cut tops - swarmed around Castle, eager to get their copies of the thriller signed. She glanced around; she wanted to reclaim the art and design books that she'd abandoned upstairs, and then she wanted to sneak out of here.<p>

She stood, glancing behind her to make sure that neither Castle's or Paula's eyes were on her, and turned, slamming smack bang into another young woman. She took a step back, blinking and taking a second look.

_Holy_- "Alexis?" Was she seriously ever going to get away from this man and these people? The next thing she knew, she'd be running into Martha at her local bar. She bit the inside of her lip as the girl took her own step back and she saw recognition flood into the teenager's eyes.

"Detective Beckett?"

"Hey, Alexis," she said weakly. "You can call me Kate. What are you doing here?"

"I- uh… Dad had a reading."

Kate nodded. "I saw," she told the girl wryly, and to Kate's surprise, Alexis flushed.

"Oh. Of course you did." She stared at the ground for a moment. "I didn't know you were going to be here," she said at last, and Kate shrugged.

"I wasn't exactly planning to be," she confessed. "I just… happened along at the right time, I guess."

"I didn't really listen to the reading," Alexis said. "So I didn't see you. I was upstairs, checking out the art books."

"Huh. Exactly the section I was about to go back to," Beckett said, glancing at the long line of fans still waiting for Castle. "It looks like he's going to be a while- want to join me?"

If Alexis was taken aback by the invitation she didn't show it, and it was nothing compared to the internal surprise Kate was feeling. Where, exactly, had _that_ invitation sprung from?

Alexis followed Beckett back up the stairs and Kate was glad to see her books were still on the armchair where she'd left them. She scooped them up, frowning as she noticed how closely Alexis was watching her. "What's up, Alexis?" she asked, and the girl shrugged.

"Nothing. I was just looking at those books when I was here before," she said, and Kate tilted her head to the side, considering.

"What do you say I go pay for these and then we look through them over a coffee?" she suggested, and Alexis nodded.

* * *

><p>"I really like this," Alexis said, running her fingers across the bold print on the cover and leafing through the book once they were seated in the store cafe, and Beckett nodded.<p>

"Me too," she said. "I've always been a fan of that era."

"I don't know much about art," Alexis confessed. "I mean, I like it. But I never took many art classes. I did more music in high school. And now most of my classes are environmental science and economics."

"Are you back at college?" Kate asked, hoping it was a safe topic, and Alexis dipped her head in acquiescence.

"Yeah," she said. "I've been going to classes. But I haven't gone back to the dorms yet."

"It will take time," Kate told her sympathetically, and Alexis nodded.

"I know. I just can't help thinking- maybe I should have gone to Stanford, you know? Maybe if I'd gone to Stanford everything would have been different. I might have been safe."

"It might not have changed anything," Kate offered, frowning. Castle and Alexis had both been evasive when she'd taken their statements, crediting the French police and interpol with their rescue, but she'd stood across from enough liars to know that they weren't being entirely truthful in their accounts of the event. It had all washed, though, and she'd reluctantly set the farmhouse murder aside, satisfied she wouldn't find any more answers.

"Maybe," Alexis agreed, staring into her coffee.

"Well," Kate attempted. "I spent a semester at Stanford before I transferred to NYU- it's not so great."

"You did?" Alexis looked up at her, surprised. "Just one semester? Why'd you leave?"

"Family reasons- my dad needed me here," she said honestly, but omitting the key reason.

"And this dad needs his daughter here," Castle interrupted, swooping in to plant a kiss on Alexis' head before pulling up a chair and sitting down at the table with them. "This is for you," he told Kate, handing her a Barnes and Noble bag that looked suspiciously like it contained a copy of his hardcover.

"Thanks," she said, glancing at Alexis and accepting it reluctantly.

"More coffee?" he asked, looking at the empty cups on the table. So he wasn't going to make a big deal about the book. Interesting. Kate glanced at her watch. She should get going, but she found herself wanting to make time for another coffee. After all, the only thing waiting for her at home was laundry.

"Okay," she agreed, and Alexis nodded too, apparently happy to stay a little longer at the cafe.

Castle smiled, standing and heading to the counter and Kate took the opportunity to take a peek inside the bag he'd given her. She opened it under the table, sneaking a look at him to make sure he wasn't watching her, but he was engaged in conversation with the woman behind the coffee machine, so she pulled the book from its bag, taking a moment to appreciate the bold use of color on the cover; rich blues and reds made for a striking book jacket.

She flipped it open; he hadn't written anything on the inside cover and she turned another couple of pages, wondering whether he had, in fact, signed it at all. And then she saw it. The dedication page. A simple dedication read: _This one is for my daughter, Alexis._ And below, in scrawled handwriting, messy, apparently rushed, a few more words personalizing it: _Kate. The next one is for you_.

Wow. That was… unexpected.

Beckett blinked, shoving the book back into the paper bag and pushing it into the larger one that housed the art books she'd purchased, before Castle made his way back to their table. "For you," he said, placing a coffee in front of his daughter. "And Beckett."

He smiled at her and handed her the cup and she took it from him, letting his fingers brush her own for a moment, and she bit her lip, smiling back. She let the moment wash over her, the buzz she felt from their touch warming her. He really was like two different people.

And she was sorry, suddenly, that she'd been so easily influenced by the page six article a few weeks ago; the man adorning the glossy pages wasn't the man she'd met at the precinct, and he wasn't the man in front of her now.

* * *

><p>"Dad, I'll see you at home," Alexis announced, pushing her empty cup away. "Thanks for the coffee, Kate."<p>

"Bye, Pumpkin," Rick said to his daughter, his eyes crinkling as he smiled at her.

"Bye, Alexis," Kate echoed, watching the girl walk away, suddenly nervous about being alone with Rick.

She swallowed, her mouth uncomfortably dry. Having reluctantly drained the last of her coffee she mirrored Rick and stood up, awkward now.

"Dinner?" Kate asked, finding her voice at last. "Do, uh-" The words stuck, and she cleared her throat. "Do you still want to have dinner?"

Rick looked at her, silent for a moment, before nodding. "Okay, Kate. Dinner. But- tonight. You're not on call, right?"

"No. Not on call," she agreed.

"I didn't think so," he said, a note of smugness in his voice. "You don't look like you're going to rush off to a crime scene at any moment." He looked her up and down, and she blushed.

"Right," she said, ignoring his implied comment about her casual look. It was her weekend, and she wasn't going apologize for meandering around the city in jeans and flats. She pushed back at the voice in her head that said the women he usually dated probably never dressed down. "Nope. Not going anywhere."

"Good," he said. "Because I like Casual Beckett." He grinned. "So. Tonight. I'm going to take you out tonight, because I don't want you to have a chance to change your mind again."

"I won't," she said, fighting to keep her voice steady.

"Good," he said, pulling his cell from his pocket. "Give me your address, I'm picking you up at seven."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thanks for the beta, K. :) And to everyone else... thanks for reading, favoriting, following and reviewing. Mwah!**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: This is the chapter which shifts the rating up to M. If that's not your cup of tea, message me, and I'll fill you in. Regular T rating will return next chapter. *blushes***

**Chapter Eleven**

_Shit_. The doorbell buzzed at five to seven and Kate wasn't ready. She wasn't close to ready. She'd taken the subway home, and spent the rest of the afternoon in her loft, trying to resist the temptation to throw herself into her armchair with her new (and signed!) copy of _A winter to die_.

She'd flounced around, running another load of laundry, and drinking a cup of green tea in an attempt to calm herself; another coffee wasn't going to do her any favors at the moment. Then she'd combed through her closet, staring at every item she owned and marveling at just how unsatisfactory each dress was.

She'd settled on a red, off-the-shoulder number eventually, shimmying into stockings; the chill of the New York spring evening made bare legs an impossibility. She replaced her watch with a chunky gold bangle, running a straightener through her long dark hair. She wondered, not for the first time, whether she should chop it off again, but the idea of cropped hair, stupid though it was, reminded her too much of her early days on the force. She was a different person now. A happier person, she reminded herself. She'd let all that go. And now- before she could get too lost in her own morose thoughts, or call Lanie for moral support- he was here.

Beckett buzzed Castle into the building and grabbed the nearest pair of heels, stepping into them and opening the front door.

She smiled, taking him in. He cleaned up nice. His blue shirt had her staring into his eyes for a moment too long before she moved back, clearing her throat when she realized he was staring back at her.

"Come in," she told him, and he stepped lightly over the threshold, tearing his eyes from her and looking around the loft appreciatively.

"Nice," he told her. "Very… Beckett. Very Kate."

"Uh-huh." She rolled her eyes, unable to help herself. "And you can tell this at a glance, can you?"

He shot her an amused look and handed her the flowers he was holding; a beautiful and understated bunch of deep red peonies. "For you. And I can. I saw your desk at the precinct," he reminded her, and she tilted her head at him in surprise.

"So?"

"So, I saw that even at a police precinct there's room for detectives to put a little color on their desks. Now, Ryan and Esposito, they didn't have much. But you- you made room for _elephant figurines_. And so, Detective, yes, I can tell that this place is very you, just like I can tell that your desk at the precinct is very you, and the facade you present to the world? The hard-nosed detective? She's only part of the mystery."

"I see," Kate said, taken aback. "Well, um… thanks for the flowers." She nodded. "Give me a second- I'll find a vase."

* * *

><p>Kate sipped the wine, swirling the dark liquid around in her mouth before swallowing, enjoying the way the liquid warmed her as it slid down her throat. She looked across the table at Rick.<p>

She had pictured a few of the big name New York restaurants, and she'd shuddered, but Castle had selected a cozy restaurant. She was seriously impressed by this location; it wasn't the kind of place that lent itself to a first date. Instead, the couples around them looked comfortable, and Kate settled back, appreciative of the ambiance.

"I've been coming here for years," he told her, apparently reading her mind. "Maybe it's not the fanciest place, or the most romantic, but it's got the best Pad Thai in Tribeca."

She smiled. "It's perfect."

It didn't hurt that Thai lent itself to sharing the dishes, and she opened her mouth, accepting the spoonful of green curry with a wry raise of her eyebrows; this felt awfully _intimate_, but she was helpless to stop herself.

The wine, she thought. She could blame the wine. It was loosening her up, relaxing her, and letting her do things she wouldn't normally do. Because a date with a minor celebrity was _definitely_ not something Kate Beckett would normally do.

Rick reached for the bottle and topped up Kate's glass before filling his own. "Can I ask you about your job?" he asked, and she shrugged.

"Why, Castle? Is it going to make it into your next book?"

"God, I hope so," he smirked, but he shook his head. "I don't know. Not if you don't want it to."

She raised her eyebrows. "O-kay." She stretched the word out, hesitant.

"Why homicide?" he asked, using a piece of roti bread to mop up some of the sauce from the duck curry.

She shrugged. "I worked vice when I first made detective. Worked vice a lot as an officer, too. Did my share of time in narcotics, I guess. But there was an opening for a homicide detective not long after I started in vice."

Beckett helped herself to more noodles while Rick regarded her for a moment. "It drives you though, doesn't it? It's not just a job the way vice or narcotics might be, is it?"

Beckett took another sip of her wine, considering her answer. "Every body that I meet used to be someone, and every one of those people has family, friends, somebody, who wants- who _needs_- answers."

Castle stared at her for a moment. "Are you still waiting for answers, Kate?"

"What?" She raised her eyebrows at him, laying her fork down beside her plate.

Castle shrugged, looking uncomfortable. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"

Kate cut him off. "Why'd you kill _Derrick Storm_?"

"Oooh." He laughed. "Is this what you're like in interrogation? The suspect starts to feel comfortable, and then- bam!- you turn the tables?"

"Yes, Castle," Kate said, rolling her eyes. "This is exactly how I interrogate all my suspects. I talk about my personal life over red wine."

"Touché," he said, with another chuckle before his expression sobered. "I killed _Storm_ because I was bored. I was just so… bored."

"You were _bored_?"

He nodded, bringing his wine glass to his lips. In spite of herself, Kate found she was watching him, watching the glass meet his mouth, imagining for a second how it would feel to have that mouth upon her… she was torn from that train of thought when Rick set his wine glass down again and spoke. "I knew what was going to happen. Every time. Every plot I came up with." He sighed. "Of course, it backfired, because I still owed Gina a book-"

"Who's Gina?" Kate asked. The name sounded familiar but she couldn't quite place it. Well, she supposed, she may have been familiar with Rick's page six exploits, but she wasn't exactly a mega fan who concerned herself with the ins and outs of the people in the publishing industry.

"My ex-wife," he said.

"Oh. Alexis' mom. Wait- why did you owe your ex-wife a book?"

He shook his head. "Gina's also my publisher. And no, not Alexis' mom."

Oh. _Oh_. That was right; Ryan had spoken to a woman named Meredith when Alexis was kidnapped, Kate remembered now. Rick Castle had been married not once, but twice. "Right." Beckett raised her eyebrows, before realizing; conversation about Castle's ex-wives probably wasn't the best idea for their first date.

"Anyway," he continued. "I still owed Gina a book, but suddenly I was writing without inspiration and also without Derrick Storm." He paused. "You've read them, right? _Gun shy_. Not exactly my best work."

Kate shrugged, not about to tell her favorite author that his latest books weren't up to the standard she'd come to expect, and she had to laugh at herself as she realized, again, she was on a date with her _favorite author_.

"I hope you find some inspiration again," she said at last, and was surprised by the heat in his eyes as he looked across the table at her.

"I think I have," he said.

* * *

><p>Kate took another sip of her wine. The buzz was definitely… <em>getting<em> to her and she watched Castle across the table, convinced it was getting to him too. His eyes were dark and he had been looking at her intently for the last few minutes, apparently content to sit without small talk for a time. And his hands… Kate was torn between staring at his mouth, with the occasional glance up at his eyes, and staring at his hands wrapped around the stem of his glass, wondering just how it would feel to have them on her.

She swallowed hard when she realized she was thinking when, not if.

"Do you want dessert?" he asked at last, his low voice breaking the silence, and she shook her head.

"Let's get out of here."

He nodded, signaling to the waiter for the check, and Beckett watched impatiently as he scrawled a signature on the credit card slip.

"After you," he said, as they stood. He retrieved her jacket and slipped it over her shoulders, his fingers lingering, cool on her warm skin, and she shivered. "You look beautiful tonight," he told her, his hands still on her shoulder, his breath a welcome caress at her ear.

He followed her out the front door of the restaurant, taking her hand and leading her to the waiting car service.

Seating herself behind the driver, Beckett bit her lip as Castle crowded in beside her, waiting breathlessly as he scooted over to sit right next to her. He gave the driver her address, then took her hand again, his left entwining with her right; running his thumb over hers, back and forth.

Kate was forced to take a deep breath, suddenly overwhelmingly aroused; if this was her reaction to a little hand holding, well, she may as well be a teenager again. She shivered as he kept his grip firm, and reached his right hand over to caress her leg; her dress rose above her knees, and he slipped his hand beneath it easily, gliding his fingers over her lower thigh before moving up, just a little. A little too much. A little bit like nowhere near enough.

Beckett shifted; _God_, she wanted him to touch her, but she was painfully aware they were in a car, and she swatted his hand away eventually, laying her own hand on his thigh. It took everything she had to refrain from moving her own hand up his thigh, holding deliberately still as if in demonstration of how to behave.

The car pulled up in front of her building, and the driver cleared his throat to get their attention.

Beckett bit her lip; she couldn't remember the last time she'd brought someone home after a first date. She'd had a handful of one night stands in college and during her early days on the force, but since then she'd usually held out, waiting a few weeks before she went to bed with someone. And she wasn't going to try and kid herself; if Castle came upstairs with her now, she was going to go to bed with him.

"You… do you wanna come up for coffee?" she asked at last, and Castle nodded.

"I- uh- yeah," he murmured, his voice low and heavy with desire, and she stepped out of the car after him, letting him hold the door open for her and then close it; they watched the car drive off for a second, and she took a deep breath.

"Come on," she managed, and she unlocked the building's front door. He followed her in, right on her heels. She fumbled with her keys again in front of her apartment for a second, finding the right one and twisting it in the lock. The door swung open, and she stepped inside, closing the door after Castle and reaching out to flip the lock shut.

"So… coffee?" Castle asked, and she whirled around; he was right beside her and she sidestepped him just a little, finding her back against the door.

"Sure," she agreed, nodding, but instead of stepping toward the kitchen she reached for Castle, her hands fisting each side of his jacket, pulling him in closer to her. He hesitated for just a split second, taking the time to look into her eyes.

"Are you sure?" he asked, his eyes dark with desire, and she didn't have to ask him to clarify.

"I'm sure," she told him, leaning in closer and meeting his lips with her own. "I'm sure," she said again.

He pressed his mouth to hers, insistent, pulling her lower lip into his mouth and teasing it between his teeth before releasing it and opening his mouth, meeting her tongue with his own.

Castle's hands made their way into her hair, and Kate kissed him back, hard; the juxtaposition between his soft mouth and the hard door was _doing_ it for her and she widened her stance a fraction, letting him press his leg between hers. Involuntarily she rocked against him, releasing his jacket to run her hands over his arms and then around his back, pulling him closer.

His mouth was on her neck now, and she leaned her head back, allowing him to suck at her throat- oh, God, just like _that_, and she sighed, a breathy sound that had her questioning just what had happened to her that she was letting go this easily, this much, this _soon_.

Castle shifted again, his leg pressing more insistently between her own, and a welcome hardness pressed against her stomach. She pushed him back suddenly, startling him.

"Kate?" he asked.

"Couch, Castle," she managed, and she kicked her shoes off, padding from the entry way into the living room. Castle was never more than a step away from her, and she pushed him down onto the sofa, straddling him before leaning in to kiss him again. From this angle she could run her hands down his front, to his thighs, to the hardness between them, and she grinned, fumbling with his belt. She unclasped it, concentrating as she undid the button on his pants and slid down the zipper, before slipping her hand into his pants and running her hand along him.

She closed her eyes as she touched him, because, _damn_, this was working for her, and she gasped as he rocked her gently backwards, flipping them around so she was lying beneath him on the sofa, her hands falling from him.

He crouched over her, placing a light kiss on her lips before running a hand along her bare shoulder, making his way down her body, pausing to palm her breast- and _fuck_ she needed her bra _off_ so she could feel his hand against her bare nipple. The thought was soon forgotten; he'd gotten her dress up around her waist, and was slowly peeling her stockings off- she needed him to _hurry;_ she didn't give a _fuck_ if he tore them because she _needed_ him inside her, now.

Finally- _finally_- her stocking were off and he shifted his weight back onto her. His mouth met hers, his fingers teasing as he ran barely there fingertips over her, touching her oh-so-lightly- through damp panties, before _finally_ pushing her thong to the side and running his fingers over her. His thumb found her clit and she fought the urge to cry out.

He stopped before she could go over the edge, pulling his hand from her and pushing at his own pants to get them out of the way. He aligned himself with her, sliding inside and raising his hand and twisting it through her hair as he moved with her.

She rose to meet him, catching his eye; this wasn't going to last long for her, and if the look in his eyes was any indication, neither was he. She moaned and he drew a deep breath, asking, "Kate?"

"I'm close," she managed, and then, "fuck, Castle."

He chuckled, a low throaty sound at her ear. 'Yes," she heard, and then her name like a chant. "Kate, Kate, Kate."

He thrust again, a slow, steady throbbing within her, and then once more, faster this time, and that was all it took; she shattered around him with just enough presence of mind to realize that as his breathing quickened and he let out her name one more time; he was right behind her.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thanks for the beta, K. :) Hope everyone enjoyed that chapter! I'll be over here blushing at the fact there's now a story in my repertoire which is rated other than T. **


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

Kate pushed Castle off her, and stood up, rolling her shoulders and looking cautiously at him. "Don't," he said.

"Don't what?" she asked.

"Don't go," he murmured, his eyes half closed.

Kate chuckled and reached for his hand, pulling him from the couch. She kept a tight grip on his fingers, leaning in to place a featherlight kiss against his cheek. She pulled back, and he let go of her hand, cupping her face in his strong palms and kissing her mouth.

"Don't go," he said again, and deepened the kiss, his tongue tracing the inside of her upper lip before meeting her own.

"Shh," she managed, pulling away in order to speak. "You're coming with me."

Beckett took his hand again and led him from the sofa through to her bedroom, pausing in the doorway to relinquish her grasp. She padded the next few steps into the room, perching on the edge of her bed intent on taking off her dress. "Well- are you just going to stand there?"

"I'm-" He looked unsure, she realized.

"Castle," she said. "My sofa… it's not the most comfortable. I know you were probably focusing on other things, but-" she picked up her watch from where it lay on her night stand. "It's late." She frowned. "_Really_ late. I'd kinda like to get some sleep."

"Okay," he said at last. "Okay."

"You want to take a shower?" she asked.

"You go first," he told her, and she nodded.

"Okay, but I don't want you prying through all my stuff," she warned him and he smiled, his eyes lighting up. "I'm serious," she told him with a scowl and he held up three fingers.

"Scout's honor."

"Uh-huh." Kate narrowed her eyes at him and reached for the hem of her dress, biting her lip to hide her grin as she felt Castle's eyes on her.

She shed the dress, clothed now only in her panties and bra, and pulled her necklace over her head, setting it carefully onto the nightstand and silently thanking the gods that the small table was devoid of any of Castle's books.

She unwrapped her bangle and placed it beside the necklace, looking up sharply at the small gasp that escaped from Rick.

"You have a tattoo!" he exclaimed, his eyes fixed on her wrist.

Kate nodded reluctantly, glancing down at the fine text on her wrist that usually stayed hidden beneath her watch. _Vincet omnia veritas_. "I do," she agreed. "In fact, I have two." She closed her eyes, smiling again at the sound this information evoked from Rick.

"Where's the other one? Why didn't I see it? I mean- we just had sex- I should have seen it, right?"

Kate opened her eyes, rolling them at Castle. "Right. But you might have noticed… we were both… pretty clothed."

Castle grinned at her. "Round two, Kate, round two. I'll see it then."

"Will you?" She laughed. This was becoming the strangest pillow talk she'd ever had; she was no stranger to men reacting to the fact she had a couple of tattoos, but it had never been quite this fun before. "Who says there's going to be a round two."

"Oh, Kate," he said, and he chuckled, a low throaty sound that had her repressing a grin. "If it was that good with that many clothes on, imagine how great it will be when we manage to do it without our clothes.

Kate laughed, and stood up, reaching for his hand and leading him through to the adjoining bathroom. She'd changed her mind; neither of them were showering alone.

"Nice," he nodded, looking around. "Very- oh!"

Kate squeezed her eyes shut. _Shit._ Of _course_ she'd left one of his books by the bath - the well thumbed copy of _At dusk we die_ was on the table by the bath, and to make matters worse, it was next to an empty wine glass.

"Well," Castle started, reaching out to pick up the book, but Kate snatched it away from him before he could flick through it; knowing he'd signed this copy almost a decade ago had her feeling more exposed than standing before him in her panties and bra.

She set the book on the counter by the sink and reached in to turn the taps on, and she felt Castle's eyes on her again. She turned to find him watching her while he stripped off his own shirt and pants, and it was Kate's turn to smile at the sight before her.

Shimmying out of her panties, she closed her eyes when she felt Castle's hands skim her waist before reaching behind her back and divesting her of her bra. His fingertips ghosted across her skin, skimming her nipples and she shivered as she felt them stiffen beneath his touch, smiling as she stepped away from him and into the shower.

He stepped into the tub after her, running his eyes over her lithe form lazily. "So… a dolphin?"

Kate laughed. "Uh-huh."

"I would have expected something a little more… literary, perhaps, given the tattoo on your wrist. What's the meaning behind the dolphin?"

Beckett looked at Castle. "Meaning? Really? Castle, I was two weeks shy of seventeen for that one."

"Hmm." It sounded like Castle had already stopped listening, his fingertips skimming her skin, tracing circles around the ink. He lifted his hand from her hip and reached for her wrist, bringing it to his mouth. He pressed a kiss to the ink before using his tongue to trace his way up her wrist, along her upper arm, his mouth eventually settling at her throat. "Kate," he murmured, his voice thick with desire, and she bent her head back, gripping his arms and pulling him closer.

* * *

><p>Kate smiled as she considered the evening; Castle had fallen into a light slumber quickly but she lay there, awake still, reflecting. It may have been a long time since she'd brought a guy home, but as apprehensive as she was about Castle's reputation, she couldn't bring herself to regret the evening or the decisions she'd made. He made her laugh and she needed that, she realized. As much as she'd liked Josh they'd never really connected intellectually, admiring each other's passions from afar.<p>

Eventually, Kate drifted off to sleep, only to be woken a few hours later by a strangled gasping. She flipped the bedside lamp on, blinking as her eyes adjusted to the sudden brightness, and turned to the man beside her.

"Castle," she murmured, "Castle… wake up."

He appeared to stir but moaned again rather than opening his eyes, and she placed a gentle hand on his upper arm.

"Castle… you're dreaming."

He groaned again, but his eyelids flickered and he opened his eyes. "Kate?"

"You had a nightmare," she soothed, and he nodded, his features laced with terror.

"Kate, they put my daughter in a cage. A cage," he choked.

"Shh," she said, running her fingers through his hair and coming to rest her hand on his forehead. "Shh."

Castle shrugged; there was a dullness to his eyes, and suddenly it was like they were back at the precinct and she was breaking bad news to him all over again. Kate shuddered.

"Hey," she tried again. "Hey. It's okay, Castle. You got her. She's okay. You're okay."

She was lying though, and she wondered if he knew that; he wasn't okay, not at all. And if he wasn't okay, she could only assume that Alexis wasn't either. Hmm. Maybe Alexis' presence at the book store made more sense now. Kate couldn't imaging the girl had much interest in attending her father's book signings; perhaps the girl wasn't letting her father out of her sight. She'd have to check in with Alexis, make sure the girl had someone to talk to, and she frowned.

Huh. When had this happened, exactly? This need to _protect._ To take care of not just Castle, but his daughter? She laid her head back down on her pillow, and rolled so she was lying flat on her back. She linked her hand with Castle's, staring at the ceiling as she listened to his breathing settle into a steady rhythm. "Can I turn the light off?" she asked, and she turned her head to see him nod.

The room was plunged back into darkness. Castle was silent, tracing circles on her palm with his thumb, and Kate stared at the ceiling until her eyes adjusted to the dim light and she could see Castle's silhouette out of the corner of her eye.

"Kate?" he asked at last. "Are you still awake?"

"Uh-huh."

There was silence again for a moment, and then Castle spoke, his voice quiet. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" Kate asked, genuinely astonished.

"For… waking you. Dragging you into this. Making you bring the job home with you." He shrugged. Kate had turned so she could see him, but in the darkness she couldn't make out his expression. He was lying on his back, not looking at her. "I know… I know how we met. And I thought- I don't know."

He took his hand from hers, and ran his fingers through his hair, pressing his index finger and thumb to the bridge of his nose and closing his eyes.

"Kate, I thought it didn't matter- but it does. We met because I was involved in one of your cases, and I can't make you bring your job home with you. You want someone else. I can't be the carefree guy that you've seen in the tabloids. I can't be that for you."

He turned, at last to look at her.

"Do you understand?"

Kate raised her eyebrows, wishing the light in the room made it just a little easier to see properly; the dim glow pushing its way through the cracks in her blinds wasn't enough. "Is that what you think?" she asked, at last. "That I want the Richard Castle that makes it to page six every other week? You think I want to be another in the long line of Richard Castle conquests?"

In spite of the dim light she saw Castle wince and she smirked. Good.

"Castle- when I met you, I met a scared father. I met a nice guy. I didn't meet the guy who was signing stuff at the bookstore today, and I didn't meet the guy who went to that movie premier last month with some… celebutante on his arm the night I had to cancel our plans."

"You know about- Oh. _That's_ why you stopped returning my calls. Kate, sometimes I have to go to events. You'd canceled, and Paula called me, insisted-"

Kate narrowed her eyes at him and placed a finger on his lips, shrugging before continuing. "I didn't meet the guy with the interesting rap sheet, or the guy who stole a police horse." She paused. "In the _nude_."

"Police records are meant to be private," Castle grumbled, and Kate smiled; she could hear lightness return to his voice.

"Yeah, well, they're not exactly hard for me to get into. Castle… I don't know what this is- and you know what? I don't _want _to. It's been a one time-"

"Two," he interrupted, and she rolled her eyes. Yeah. Well.

"Fine, a two time thing, and it's way too soon to be taking this too seriously." Kate bit her lip, contemplating how much she should say. She pictured the long abandoned file that was still in a shoe box in her father's storage unit; the photograph on her dresser of her younger self sandwiched between her parents on the last Christmas the three of them had celebrated together. "I can tell you, Castle, if I'm bringing my job home with me, that's on me."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Many, many thanks for the love last chapter, feeling much more confident about the M thing now! ;) Thanks again K, for the beta. :) **


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

The shrill of an unwanted alarm stirred Kate from her slumber and she groaned, reaching over to quell the noise, startling when the warm body beside her moaned. Shit. Right. She had forgotten, for a moment, that she wasn't alone.

She leaned further over the man, stretching and grasping her cell phone at last, shutting down the alarm. Why the phone was on the other side of the bed was a mystery. Or, more to the point, why she'd fallen asleep on the wrong side of her bed… well, that was less of a mystery, she mused, as she cast her eyes onto the figure beside her.

Richard Castle. She'd slept with Richard Castle. On her sofa. And fooled around some more in the shower. And then in her bed. And then things had gotten weird; Beckett didn't think she'd ever woken to a bedmate's nightmare before, let alone comforted someone in the hours past midnight. Shit.

What was she going to say to him in the light of day? 'Thanks for the great sex, sorry we got all deep and meaningful so late at night?' No. She didn't think so. Best to get moving for the day, and hey, if he never called again, no harm, no foul. Still, the idea of him never calling left a bitter taste in her mouth and she swallowed hard.

Castle groaned again, and rolled over. "Kate?" he asked, rubbing at half closed eyes. "What was that god-awful noise?"

"What, you mean my alarm?" she asked. "I guess best-selling authors don't need alarms- you don't operate on a timetable, do you?"

Rick chuckled, blinking. "No. No, I do not," he muttered, pulling a pillow over his face.

"Yeah, well. For the record? I do." Kate smiled in spite of herself, sitting up. Apparently Rick felt the movement, because he turned, sitting up too, grasping her shoulders and pushing her back down. He snuggled into her side, pulling her on top of him, and she shook her head, unduly impressed. He looked like he had slept like a baby; when she had nightmares she tended to spend the whole of the next day in a daze trying to recover.

"Stay," he said, and she shook her head, pulling herself up again and pushing him away.

"You're not going to make me late, Castle," she warned, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed, and opening the nightstand drawer, pulling on a tank top and reaching for some panties.

"Oh," Castle said, consternation in his eyes. "No. No, you're not going to need that top, or those-" he pointed at her underwear, and Kate rolled her eyes, doing her best to shimmy into the panties without standing and giving Castle the opportunity to stare at her ass. He might have seen it all last night, but with the daylight streaming in this had every opportunity to become awkward.

She managed at last, standing. "Up. Because I have to go to work, and I'm not leaving you alone in my apartment."

Castle grinned at her, patting the bed beside him. "I'll do you a deal," he offered. "I'll get up with you if I can join you in the shower."

Kate groaned. Tempted. She was so damn tempted. But she had to be at the precinct in forty minutes and she wanted a coffee more. Although, if he wanted to shower together did that mean he wasn't weirded out by their conversation last night? "I'll do you a deal," she agreed. "You shower alone, quickly, and I'll put the coffee on."

"You drive a hard bargain, Detective Beckett," Castle told her, but he sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. He stretched and stood, demonstrating none of her reticence as he displayed his nude form. He sauntered into the bathroom and a faint smile played on her lips as she watched him cross the room. Well. Maybe she couldn't blame him for his apparent exhibitionist streak.

Kate padded into the kitchen, switching the coffee machine on, and taking in the living room. Her shoes had been kicked off by the door, and her pantyhose lay tangled on the floor by the sofa, the cushions in disarray. She blushed, picking up the stockings and carrying them to the laundry hamper before returning to the coffee machine and pouring two cups, bringing them both into the bedroom.

Well. If Castle was still in the shower… Kate supposed that she could always take his coffee in to him.

* * *

><p>"Good day off, Beckett?" Esposito called to her as she stepped out of the elevator and into the bullpen and she nodded, adjusting the strategically placed scarf and checking her watch again. Only a few minutes late.<p>

"Uh-huh." She made a beeline for the break room; the need for another coffee trumped switching her computer on, and she rolled her eyes when she saw the detective stand up from behind his own desk to follow her. "Coffee?" she asked.

"Sure."

She twisted the portafilter, setting the machine to make two coffees and handed Esposito the milk and the steaming jug. "Since you're here," she smirked at him, and he took it, making a face at her.

"Do anything yesterday?" he asked. She shook her head. Not unless she could count Richard Castle. Twice. And again this morning in her shower.

"No," she said, holding the mugs out for Espo to pour the milk into.

"Huh. Thought you must have been out or something. Lanie and I called you to see if you wanted to get a drink."

Oh. Yeah. She had seen Lanie calling last night, around nine; she'd still been at dinner, and she'd reached into her purse and declined the call. "Early night," she lied easily. "So. Have we caught a case?"

* * *

><p>Castle's first text came through at ten, when Beckett was on her way out to a body. She checked her cell phone when they were stopped at the traffic lights, finding herself smiling at the message. The smile turned to glare when she glanced up to see Ryan smirking at her from the passenger seat.<p>

"Something to share, Beckett?" he asked. "Information on the case, maybe?"

"Shut it," she warned, releasing the clutch and hitting the gas at the green, her phone balanced precariously on her lap.

"Uh-huh," Ryan continued as though she hadn't said a word. "Could be the case… but a smile like that. Now, an ordinary person might be willing to let it go, but I, Beckett, am a Detective. A smile from you after just one cup of coffee…"

Beckett took her eyes off the road for a second to glare at Ryan, who studiously ignored her.

"Now, looking at the timeline… Esposito called you last night-"

"Lanie called me last night," Beckett clarified sharply. "And I was asleep."

"Uh-huh." Kate could hear the disdain in Ryan's voice; his complete lack of faith in her insistence that she was telling the truth was entirely apparent, and she rolled her eyes, thankful that Esposito wasn't there to join in the teasing. "And this morning you got into the precinct twenty minutes late, wearing both a scarf, and a smile."

"Wearing a smile, huh? That a crime these days, Ryan? Because, Honeymilk, I could always call Jenny up, let her know you need less to smile about."

"I-"

"I have her number," she reminded him, pulling into a parking spot sharply and bringing the cruiser to a halt. She killed the engine, and opened the car door, her forgotten cell phone falling from her lap onto the seat, and Ryan snatched it up.

"Aw, Beckett," Ryan complained, as he walked around the car and handed her the phone. "You had to password protect it, didn't you?"

Beckett shrugged, knowing that even without password protection, Ryan would never have invaded her privacy by trying to read her messages in spite of his badgering.

She smiled as she walked toward Lanie and the body; she might have a case, but according to the message she'd gotten? She also had a coffee date to look forward to.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thanks everyone! Thanks, K, for the beta! Mwah!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen**

The coffee date never materialized. Castle texted again and Beckett replied to let him know she was busy; for a murder caught on film their suspect list was awfully short.

Beckett found she was running down leads all day; she had finally called it a night when Ryan and Esposito had started yawning and remarking caustically how nice it must be for Captain Montgomery to leave the building certain his best detectives were on the case around the clock.

"Fine," she'd said at last. "Go. But first thing in the morning I expect the vic's financials on my desk."

"Yes, boss," they'd both echoed, and their computers were off and they were headed to the elevator before she had even taken her eyes off the murder board.

* * *

><p>Beckett shrugged her shirt off, shimmying out of her dress pants and digging around in her dresser for jeans and a casual top, trying to hurry, and retying the scarf around her neck. Yeah. Not that the marks there were exactly prominent, but as an ME Lanie made her living detecting minor details, and she didn't want to give her friend any ammunition.<p>

The last thing Beckett had wanted was to go out for a drink when she had to be back at the precinct first thing in the morning. She'd agreed to a compromise when Lanie had called; drinks and take-out at her place. Of course, Lanie had gotten there at the same time as Kate, and now she was rushing around, ruing the fact she hadn't been able to text Castle back.

Damn. She had it bad. But, she supposed, it had been less than twenty-four hours, so maybe she shouldn't text him back. Maybe it was a good thing Lanie was here. Maybe she needed to wait, leave a little space-

"Beckett," Lanie's voice echoed into her bedroom, and she cursed softly under her breath.

"Coming," she called. "Do you want to order? There are a bunch of take-out menus in the kitchen- top drawer."

"Okay," she heard Lanie call back, and she bit back a grin as she heard the squeak as Lanie wrestled with the drawer. Yeah. So her kitchen was mostly fine, but the drawers could be described as vintage. Or, more accurately, as an occupational hazard.

"Hey," she said, walking back into the kitchen. "You find them?"

"Oh, I found them," Lanie said, gesturing to the menus on the counter. She straightened up, her arms folded across her chest, staring Beckett down. "What are they?" She dipped her head, indicating the sink, and Beckett frowned.

"My kitchen counter? The sink?"

"Take a closer look."

Beckett stepped into the kitchen properly, stretching to see what, exactly, had Lanie so riled up. Oh. Damn. "Uh- coffee cups, Lanie. What- you've never seen anyone leave dirty dishes around before?"

"Uh-huh. And, pray tell, Kate Beckett, why there are two coffee cups in the sink?"

"I- uh-" Kate panicked. She was so busted.

"Kate?"

The gleam in her eye had Beckett stepping back, and she nearly laughed at herself. The fearless Kate Beckett, interrogated in her own kitchen? Not okay. She struggled to come up with something; a lie, or maybe she could turn the tables? But she couldn't think quickly enough. "God, Lanie. Do you tell me every time you hook up with Espo?" She wrinkled her nose. "Don't answer that. I don't need the details."

"So you hooked up. Huh. Figured as much," Lanie said, eying Kate's neck.

Kate threw her hands up in the air. "I have no idea why you bothered getting your medical degree- you would have made a great detective," she huffed, before a small smile found its way to her lips. "Fine. Yes. I… had someone over last night."

"I knew it!" Lanie uncrossed her arms, beaming at Beckett. "I don't know why you were so secretive about it. Oh- is it someone I know? Josh." She narrowed her eyes. "You did not hook up with Josh again, did you."

"God, no. And what do you mean by again? That was a one time thing." Kate snatched up the menus. "If you're not going to pick something, I am," she said. "How about pizza. Oh- or Chinese?"

"Nu-uh," Lanie said, but Beckett reached into her pocket for her phone.

"Pizza," she decided, shushing Lanie as she dialed and ordered dinner.

Kate picked up a bottle of red from the counter and stalked into the living room, nodding at Lanie to grab two glasses. She settled herself onto the couch, filling Lanie's glass and her own before speaking.

"Cheers," she nodded, raising her glass to Lanie and her friend returned the gesture with a sly smile.

"So… who was the guy?"

Beckett shrugged, taking a long sip of her wine, before putting the glass down, reminding herself that she had to work in the morning. "Castle," she mumbled.

Lanie's eyes widened and Kate smirked, watching a plethora of expressions roll over Lanie's face… shocked, impressed, and finally, smug. "I knew he was into you!" she exclaimed.

* * *

><p>"So, was it good?" Lanie asked with a mouthful of pizza.<p>

Kate stared at her. "Seriously?"

Her friend shrugged. "What? You told me about Josh."

"Yeah," mumbled Kate. "Regretting that now." She took a bite of her own slice of pizza, considering how much to tell. "It was… good," she said at last, her cheeks reddening.

Lanie laughed. "Just wait-"

Kate's eyes widened. "No. Absolutely not. Lanie Parish, this goes no further. You do not tell Esposito. I'm serious."

"Hmm." Her friend smiled, her expression warm. "Oh, sweetie. Of course I won't tell him."

"Good," Kate said. "Last thing I need…"

"So, are you going to see him again?"

Kate shrugged, focusing on her glass of wine. "I… hope so," she said at last, considering. He'd messaged her today, twice and he'd seemed to take it well when she'd returned a text to let him know she was snowed under at work.

She was still a little worried about him, though. He'd woken up in a good mood, showing her just how good that mood was in the shower… and it had been great. But she remembered having nightmares back when she was dating Will. They had been just another thing in the long list of things that had seen that relationship combust.

What if Castle thought about his nightmares, and didn't want her to be the one to see them? Eventually the trauma from Alexis' kidnapping was going to catch up to him. What if he didn't want her around then? What if this was a kind of post-traumatic-attach-to-the-cop-on-the-case kind of thing? What if-

"Kate!"

"Yes?" Beckett asked, looking up guiltily.

"I asked if you wanted more wine, sweetie," Lanie told her. "But you were zoned out."

"I'm… kinda tired," Kate admitted, groaning at Lanie's knowing expression, and holding her glass out regardless. If Lanie wasn't going to go home, she needed wine. A lot more wine.

* * *

><p>When the phone chimed in the middle of the night, Kate sat up, immediately on alert. She was used to late night calls from dispatch, but her friends and family know better than to send her text messages at... she looked at the time on her cell... three in the morning. Okay then.<p>

Are you awake? Kate sighed. She was now. She typed a quick message back to Castle. No. I'm asleep, like you should be. The reply came through immediately. Sorry, I couldn't sleep so I was writing. I have a new idea. Kate giggled - actually giggled.

She might not enjoy being awoken at three in the morning but it certainly made a change to get messages from a writer instead of calls about dead bodies. How about you call me in the morning- the actual morning- and tell me about your idea then? Kate texted back, before committing the cardinal sin of a detective on call, and switching her phone to silent, lying back down and burrowing under the covers, intent on getting some sleep.

* * *

><p>Castle called at twelve, when Beckett was staring down the murder board. "I was going to call you when I woke up," she teased. "But I couldn't do it. I couldn't wake you up at six in the morning."<p>

"You got up at six?" he asked, sounding disgusted. "I was still asleep then."

"Yeah. Like I was at three." Her jaw dropped, something occurring to her. "Oh, admit it, Castle, you're still in bed now, aren't you?"

"Well. Um." She heard shuffling, and a triumphant "no!" resounded firmly in her ear.

Kate rolled her eyes, glancing across the mostly empty bullpen. The guys were in the workroom, going over tech, and she took the opportunity to head into the break room, cell pressed to her ear. "Come on, Castle," she said. "You just got out of bed, didn't you?"

"I've been up for hours," he lied and she ran her fingers through her hair, amused. Very carefully, she closed the break room doors, setting the phone on speaker and putting it on the counter as she tackled the coffee machine.

"I'm a trained detective, I can hear you lying," she told him.

"And I'm- hey!" He sounded delighted all of a sudden. "Are you using my coffee machine?"

"Our coffee machine," she corrected him. Damn. That wasn't what she meant either. "The precinct's coffee machine."

"So do you have time for lunch?" he asked.

Beckett checked her watch. "Sure. I can take a half hour," she agreed. "You wanna meet me here?"

"Okay. I'll be there soon. Really soon," he told her. "Because I'm awake. Have been for hours."

"Uh-huh." Kate rolled her eyes. "Listen, Castle, call me when you get here and I'll come down and meet you, okay?" She poured a generous splash of milk into her coffee cup and ended the call, stuffing the phone into her pocket and opening the door to the bullpen.

* * *

><p>"What do you have?" Beckett frowned, ignoring the ringing of her cell in her pocket, intent on seeing what Ryan had picked up on the surveillance footage now that he and Esposito were done combing through it. Castle was going to have to wait downstairs a moment longer, because this was important.<p>

"Check this out," Ryan said, rewinding the tape for another look. "You're looking at the victim, right?"

"Right," she agreed, annoyed. She was on a clock here. Ryan might be happy to waste time, but the last thing she wanted was for-

And the elevator door chimed out in the bullpen. She poked her head out of the work room to see Castle strolling toward her, a beam on his face. "Beckett," he said, delighted, and she made a face at him.

"You were meant to wait downstairs," she hissed, but it was no use, the boys were crowding around.

"Esposito, Ryan," Castle nodded.

"Hey, man," Esposito said, and Ryan nodded in greeting.

"I won't be long," she promised, steadfastly refusing to look at Esposito or Ryan, just glad the Captain and the rest of the usual crew weren't here to witness this.

"Oh, no problem," Castle said, following her back into the room where Ryan had the footage paused. "I don't mind checking this out."

She shook her head, closing the door after him and watching in amazement as he made himself at home, sitting down next to Ryan. "Okay," she said, tight lipped and nervous.

"Right," Ryan continued. "So as I was saying, you're watching the vic." He played the footage for the second time. "Baseball bat, light, car. Right?"

"Right," Beckett agreed. "So what am I meant to be seeing?"

"Rewind," Castle instructed, and she turned her head, narrowing her eyes at him. "Sorry," he apologized. "I just thought I saw something."

"You did." Ryan nodded, and Esposito took the opportunity to shoot Beckett a knowing look.

"Okay. Play it again," Beckett conceded, watching this time as Ryan pointed to the corner of the screen, to a wall in the alley. "What am I meant- oh. I see."

"Excellent," Castle said, his eyes lighting up. "This was all staged. What a great murder."

Esposito snorted. "Yeah, man, great."

"Well- you know what I mean, don't you?" Castle asked, looking around at the three of them, and Beckett gave him a slight shrug of her shoulder, tacitly agreeing. Dealing with murderers and psychopaths was never exactly pleasant, but sometimes it really was fascinating, if frustrating.

"Okay. Well, we'll have to see who could have tampered with this-" Beckett paused, an idea forming in her mind. She'd said she had time for lunch, though, and she should really get Castle out of here; he'd seen enough confidential evidence for the afternoon. "Let's take a break for lunch, meet back here in an hour-"

"What!" Castle exclaimed.

"What?" Beckett asked him, and Castle shrugged.

"Well- don't you want to solve this? We're so close, I can feel it. We don't have time for lunch!"

"Dude," she heard Esposito whisper to Ryan, and she frowned. Fine. If this was how Castle wanted to play it-

"I can go downstairs, get us some food from across the road, bring it back, and then I could take a look at what you've got so far and help you work out exactly who tampered with the footage!" His enthusiasm was palpable, and she shrugged, defeated.

"Good luck with that," Ryan told her, nodding in Castle's direction, and taking off with a wave, Esposito hot on his heels.

"Huh. Well, if they don't want to have lunch with us, that's their loss," Castle said. "So, Detective. I'll get us burgers and I'll be right back so we can go through all the evidence. What flavor shake do you want?"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thanks for beta-ing this K! I had a few people who were looking forward to Lanie's reaction, hope this satisfied!  
><strong>


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen**

"So, uh- when are you going to bring her in?" Castle asked, tossing the empty shake cups into the trash.

Kate looked at her watch. Five-thirty. "I'm going to have to wait until tomorrow," she said. "I need this to be airtight, and I know she didn't actually do it, so I have to be able to get her to tell me who did when I speak to her."

She smiled wryly, shutting her computer off. Maybe the quick meal they'd shared in front of the murder board didn't exactly count as a date, but perhaps they could manage the real thing over dinner and wine tonight.

"So, this wasn't exactly what you had in mind when you suggested lunch, I guess?"

"Are you kidding?" Castle beamed at her, and waved an enthusiastic hand at the board. "This was awesome. I usually make stuff up. This was way better."

"Right, boss," Esposito called from his own desk, weariness all over his face. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Yeah, Beckett, see you in the morning," Ryan said. "Bye, Castle."

"Yeah, see you, Castle," Esposito added, winking at Beckett as he walked past her desk to the elevator.

"Good work guys," she called out, glaring at Esposito's inquiring glance. "See you in the morning. Tell Lanie hi," she teased.

"This was so much fun," Castle enthused again.

"Speaking of making it up," Beckett asked, standing and taking her jacket from the back of her chair. "Didn't you say in your message last night that you had a new idea?"

"Oh. That. Yeah. Sorry about that- I had no idea what the time was." He took Beckett's jacket and helped her into it, and she leaned back just a little, letting his hands linger on her shoulders before turning around to find herself face to face with him. He was so close; she could feel his breath warm on her cheek and the trace of a smile made its way to her lips. "I was, uh, writing." He leaned in a little closer. "And I had this idea. For a character." His lips were grazing hers now and she closed her eyes, ready to sink into the kiss. "I'm going to base my next character on you," he whispered, and she jerked away, her eyes widening.

"You're what? No. No way. No. Today was… cute." She gestured at him helplessly. "All… civilian consultant- but that's it, Castle. That's as involved as you get."

"Huh," he said, nodding, a faraway look in his eyes. "Civilian consultant. That's a great idea!"

"No. No. It's not a great idea," Beckett argued, but he'd hooked her arm into his and was leading them across the bullpen toward the elevator.

"What's the procedure for becoming a civilian consultant?" he asked as though she hadn't said anything, and she stepped away from him, slamming her open palm onto the elevator call button.

"There's no procedure," she said. "You're not listening to me."

"But, Beckett," he argued. "We make a great team. We can investigate murder together, and we can go home at night and debrief. Just think of how many murders we could solve together! Hundreds!"

"Is that so?" she asked, stepping onto the elevator. "And tell me, Castle, how will Martha and Alexis feel when I bring you into the line of fire?"

He shrugged. "They didn't have a problem with it when I had access to the CIA."

"You had access to the CIA? What?"

"For the Storm books," he clarified. "Clara Strike is based on a woman I used to know. Sophia Turner."

Beckett's eyes widened as they stepped out of the elevator onto the ground floor of the precinct and she nodded to the desk clerk as they passed her.

"Clara Strike is Sophia Turner?" she asked before she could stop herself, and Castle stopped, mid-step.

"You say that like you know her," he said, confusion clouding his eyes, and she shrugged.

"Espo and I worked a case… last year. I met her. She was a… spy."

"Yeah." He nodded. "A CIA spy. Cool, huh?"

"No, not cool," she told him gently. "She was a Soviet spy."

"What?" His forehead knit in consternation as he stepped back, turning, and she watched him start to walk away, cursing herself. He was going to hate her. He was going to absolutely hate her. Once he got over this apparent infatuation, he was going to associate her with the demise of his former muse, as well as with his daughter's kidnapping. She'd be nothing but a constant reminder.

But when he reached the door of the precinct, holding it open for her, he turned in confusion. "You coming, Beckett?"

"What? I- uh, yeah." She shook her head in an attempt to clear her thoughts.

"Sophia was really a spy?" he asked, running a hand through his hair, and Beckett nodded, following him through the door out of the building.

"Yeah, she was."

"Huh." Castle swiped his hand across his face, lines roughening his forehead. "I had no idea."

He shrugged again, apparently dismissing it, but there was a heaviness to his stance, reminiscent of the pain Beckett had seen in him when Alexis was missing.

"What happened?" he asked at last, staring at her unhappily, and she bit her lip, considering what she should tell him.

She glanced around, her gaze falling on the little coffee shop across from the precinct; it was usually a hive of activity but this late in the day the caffeine-seeking crowd would have thinned out, and maybe they could actually find a table. "Come on," she said, taking his hand when it looked like he was rooted to the spot, and guiding them across the street.

She pointed him toward the sofas at the front before stepping up to the counter to make her order, hesitating when she realized that while Rick knew she liked vanilla, she wasn't as up on his taste in coffee as he was with hers. She squinted, choosing caramel; if he didn't like it he could drink her vanilla latte. It wasn't like they were really here for the coffee, anyway.

"Here," she said, pushing the cup into his hands. "Caramel okay?"

He nodded, wrapping his hands around the coffee, but he didn't take a sip, looking up at her instead. "What happened?" he asked again. "Is she in jail?"

"No. She, uh-" Kate shook her head, and Castle nodded, understanding dawning. "She was setting us up for a third world war. She'd been a Soviet Spy. Said it wasn't personal." Kate grimaced. It had felt personal when the woman had held a gun to her head, but she didn't think Castle needed to hear that.

Rick forced a smile. "Huh. This- well, it all makes a lot of sense, in a really weird way."

He took a sip of his drink at last, and Kate raised her own cup to her lips but stopped mid-way. "Makes sense? How?"

"I've been thinking, a lot, about Alexis. About her kidnapping. I... think this puts some of the puzzle pieces in place for me."

"What do you mean?" Kate asked. "It's not like Alexis was kidnapped by Russian spies."

Castle shook his head, but he wouldn't meet her eye and Beckett felt a chill run down her spine. Fuck. Alexis had been kidnapped by Russian spies. It all- well, to say it all made sense was a leap, but it made more sense than it had.

"Alexis was kidnapped by Russian spies?" she asked, and Castle winced.

"Have you ever... wondered something?" he asked instead of answering. "I mean, really, have you ever lived 'not knowing' something for so long that it consumed you. Until one day it didn't anymore. Until you let it go? Made peace with it? Are there any mysteries in your life that just don't add up?" He paused, looking at her helplessly. "I mean, you're a cop, right? So you know what it is to look for clues and find that nothing adds up."

At that moment Beckett was struck by the realization that she hadn't told Castle about her mom. Not that she usually told people about her mom, but this wasn't fair. She knew so much about Castle but he knew nothing about her past, except for the little he'd guessed. She nodded slowly.

"When something eats at you your whole life- in my case, I never knew who my father was- and then you learn that what was behind the curtain was nothing like what you'd dreamed… or, like everything you'd dreamed. But the consequences were unimaginable..." he trailed off.

"What are you saying?" Kate asked.

Castle shrugged. "I think Sophia was involved in Alexis' kidnapping," he said at last. "I think she fed Volkov and his men information about who we are."

"Who you are? Castle, I don't understand. And who's Volkov?"

"Beckett," he said, with a furtive glance around them. "I'm trusting you here, okay? I'm- even if you wanted to put it all together, get it all on paper, you couldn't, because the official reports credit the French police, and Volkov- the guy who took Alexis- isn't even a footnote. But I'm trusting you here, that you'll put your cop instincts aside. Because I'm really not supposed to talk about this-"

"Castle, you're scaring me," Kate said. "What are you trying to tell me?"

"That book," he said at last. "The one that was waiting for me when I got back from Paris with Alexis? It was from my father. I met him when I was a kid. Of course, back then I didn't know that he was my father. He sent it to me as a sign that he made it out after Alexis and I escaped- and here's the thing, Kate. My whole life, I made up stories in my head about my father. About why he left my mother. And in my favorite stories he was always a spy, and he left because he had to keep us safe."

"And that turned out to be true," Beckett finished, and Castle nodded.

"It turned out to be true," he confirmed. "I met my father, after wondering about him my whole life. And apparently he pulled some strings to get me access to the CIA back when I needed it for my story, and Sophia knew, back then, that he was my father. I trusted her, I really did. I mean, she wasn't…"

He shrugged, running a tired hand across the back of his neck, and Beckett saw the tension in his shoulders. "I'm making this out to be more than it was," he said suddenly. "Sophia and I were involved, yes, but it was- nothing. Nothing special. In the end there was a lot more to Clara Strike than there ever was to Sophia Turner. Knowing the truth helps."

"But she still betrayed you," Kate argued, affected by the betrayal on his behalf.

"Yeah," he agreed, burying his head in his hands. "Yeah, she did."

* * *

><p>"I- uh, I guess I'm going to take off," he said at last, putting his still half full coffee cup down on the table and staring at her unhappily, and Beckett nodded. So much for the dinner date she'd conjured up in her mind.<p>

"Okay. Well." Beckett took a deep breath, bewildered by the turn the day had taken. Why did she feel like she wanted to cry? She rose when he stood, still clutching at her own cup of coffee, reluctant to see him go, but unable to think of a reason he should stay.

"Have a good night, Kate." Castle smiled at her, leaning in and pressing a light kiss to her cheek, then raising a hand in farewell as he stepped away from her, and Beckett raised hers back, an open palmed goodbye.

"See you," she whispered, too quietly for him to hear, but he turned around, a grin on his face that didn't quite make it to his eyes- but a grin nonetheless, and Beckett bit her lip, hope valiantly edging its way through her veins.

"Monday?" he said. "Will you come round for dinner?"

"I… can try," she said.

"Do more than try, okay?"

"I'll come unless we catch a case," she promised, and he nodded.

"I already told Alexis you'll be there," he said, and then he turned and walked away before she could think of a response.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Kylie, your willingness to re-beta every time I tell you at the last minute that I've 'figured out how the next chapter just has to be!' is awesome! Readers! Thanks for your response to the story! x**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: This chapter is rated M. If that's not your cup of tea, message me, and I'll fill you in. Regular T rating will return next chapter. (I feel kinda silly warning/spoiling you each time, but this story is much more T than M and I like reading fic on the train, but not if it's M if there are commuters who can see over my shoulder...) Anyway- on with the story!**

**Chapter Sixteen**

Kate watched Castle walk from the cafe, confusion flooding her veins. He was out of sight in an instant, swallowed up in the anonymity of a busy afternoon in Manhattan and she wrinkled her nose at the coffee, the sweet vanilla suddenly less appealing in the face of the plethora of information he'd just given her. He'd met his _father_? His reticence when he'd given his statement after he'd returned from Paris, his daughter's evasiveness? Both made a hell of a lot more sense now, and she chewed on her nail, considering what a mixed blessing it must have been to finally _know_ his own history.

She thought she'd given up on trying to solve her mother's case, but still, she lived with the unknown every day. She'd done a year of therapy to prove to herself, to Montgomery, that she was no longer interested in investigating. A year in which she'd tried to convince herself that she didn't need to know. Followed by years of clawing her way back, proving to everyone around her that being a cop, being a _detective_, was about more than her own experience with injustice.

Not knowing? Like Castle had said, you could convince yourself you were okay living without answers. But that was living a lie. And it wasn't enough anymore. He'd learned - in a roundabout and horrific way - who his father was, and as painful as that had been, she believed him when he said knowing was the better option.

More than ten years of wondering_ why_ was more than ten years too many, and Kate sat in the cafe, musing on it, nursing her coffee until it got cold. One day she would have to reopen her mom's case, and, reluctant as she was, the day was drawing near. She put her unfinished cup down beside the one Castle had left there, pulling her jacket tight around her and walking slowly home.

She still had a case to close, and dinner with Castle tomorrow. This would keep for a few more days but not, she thought, for much longer.

* * *

><p>"Katherine!" Martha greeted her with a quick kiss on the cheek and Alexis beamed at her from the kitchen, offering a wave. "Do come in."<p>

"Dad," Alexis called. "Detective Beckett-" and off Kate's look, she corrected herself- "Kate's here."

"Ah, Detective," Rick exclaimed, entering the room from his office and striding toward her. She stepped over the threshold into the loft, taking him in as he pressed a light kiss to her cheek in greeting. He was wearing jeans and a t-shirt, and the casual-wear looked good on him, as did the sparkle that was back in his eyes rather than the bereft expression he'd worn when he'd taken his leave two days ago.

Martha beamed, pressing a glass of champagne into Kate's hands. "We're so glad you could join us for Richard's birthday."

"It's your _birthday_?" Beckett was blindsided; and _pissed_. She'd spent enough time on his fan site a few years ago that she should have known when his birthday was.

"Ah, yes," he confirmed, the ghost of a smile on his lips.

Beckett managed a grin, taken aback. "And you invited me?" she asked quietly.

Martha overheard, answering before her son could. "Of course we invited you, my dear. After all, if it wasn't for you, this family would be no more."

Kate chuckled; Martha's more dramatic side was much easier to take when it wasn't masking fear.

"_I_ wanted to go skiing," Castle grumbled. "But Alexis pointed out skiing alone was dangerous."

"Dinner's ready," Alexis announced, "and you could have broken a leg or something." She ignored her father's rumblings of complaint, pulling something from the oven, and Castle winked at Beckett.

"I was forbidden from entering the kitchen today, so trust me, it's much better that Alexis is in there rather than my mother."

Kate bit back a grin, remembering the pancakes she'd rescued, and allowed Castle to guide her into the dining room. The last time she'd sat at this table it had been awkward, Castle and Alexis relieved to be back, but exhausted.

Castle had kept running his hand unconsciously over a book that had mysteriously come in the post, but he refused to say what its significance was, instead fixing his mother with meaningful looks that had told Kate the story wasn't for her ears. It all made so much sense now, after his revelations on Saturday, and she let herself relax, safe in the knowledge that Castle and Alexis had come through the ordeal unscathed.

"So," Beckett asked, once she'd been seated and Alexis had graciously served her salmon and potatoes. "Am I allowed to ask how old you are?"

Castle shook his head, as Alexis laughed. "Old enough to have an eighteen year old who I will _ground_ if she spills the beans," he threatened.

"Oh, please," Martha said, taking a sip of her wine. "I can tell you exactly how old he is. It was a cold, cold night in 1969, and I can tell you, I had no idea I was in labor already when I was taking the subway across town-"

"Just how many of those have you had?" Castle asked, pulling his mother's wine glass away from her.

"Really, Richard," she chided. "I'm just giving Katherine a little context."

"Context. Right." Castle snorted, and Alexis giggled. "I was not born on the subway," he assured Kate, and she smirked, nodding as Martha continued her tale.

* * *

><p>"'You didn't tell me it was your birthday!" Beckett admonished when they were alone at last, settled on Castle's bed, wine glasses in hand. "Why didn't you tell me?"<p>

Castle's eyes twinkled. "Too much pressure. It was easier this way. Getting you here, I mean."

"You got me here by using your daughter's charms," she reminded him, and he smirked.

"Whatever it takes, Detective, whatever it takes."

"And are you okay?" she asked. "I know I kind of dropped a bombshell on Saturday."

He nodded. "I am. I'm just happy that my family is safe." Castle smiled at her, taking the glass of wine from her and setting it, with his own, on the nightstand. "And I'm happy that I met you." He reached for her hand and tugged her across the bed toward him, and she bit her lip, grinning as he plucked at her shirt, trying in vain to pull it over her head.

"Buttons," she reminded him, and he laughed, leaning in and kissing her. Slow and tender, she let him take his time, let him push her back against the bed head, and sliding his hands along her side they slipped in under her top, skimming her skin and pushing the offending item of clothing up.

She took mercy on him eventually, slipping out of his grasp and meeting his eyes as she undid each of the buttons, slowly and deliberately, exposing the skin of her torso an inch at a time until she slipped the whole thing off, allowing it to puddle on the floor beside the bed.

Rick stepped forward again, not taking his eyes off her as he dipped his mouth to her neck, his fingers fumbling for a second until he found the clasp on her bra, pulling it open and letting his fingertips brush against her nipples, bold now that she was half naked.

He pulled away, dragging his own shirt over his head and unbuttoning his jeans, pushing them down until he was only clad in his boxers, his hands making their way back to her shoulders. A gentle kiss was brushed along her collarbone as he lay her down, kneeling over her and peppering light kisses across her chest, lingering at her right breast, his tongue circling her nipple and she found herself squeezing her eyes shut, lost in the sensation as she rocked her hips toward him, trying, in vain, to gain a little leverage.

His mouth left her skin and she sighed at the loss, opening her eyes to find him looking down at her, a low murmur of laughter vibrating through him.

"Patience," he chided her, sliding down so that he could unbutton her jeans, and she hid her grin; from this angle, crouched above her, she could see just how affected he was by the current situation. He slid her jeans off - along with her panties - inching them down gradually until she couldn't stand it anymore, and twisting, she kicked them the rest of the way off, flipping Castle around so that this time she was hovering above him, and she licked her lips in anticipation, humming in satisfaction as she saw Castle's eyes darken with lust, and suddenly, just_ seeing_ how affected he was wasn't enough for her, she needed to feel it too.

She pushed his boxers down, smiling in satisfaction as she took him in her hand and groaning as he reciprocated, running his fingers along her folds before circling her clit. "God, Kate-" he managed before she plucked his hand away, aligning their bodies and wrapping her legs around him.

Rick stared up at her, his eyes meeting hers with a fierce intensity that caused her breath to hitch as she leaned down to meet his mouth. She pressed her lips to his, breathing him in and sighing as their tongues met, gentle kisses matching the easy rhythm they'd found as they moved together.

"Kate," he breathed once more, and she gasped as his hand found her breast again, his fingertips teasing her hardened nipple and this wasn't going to last much longer for her; she found herself speeding up almost involuntarily, shocked at the intensity of her climax, and groaning in satisfaction as she felt him go over the edge with her.

She exhaled, her arms unable to support her anymore, and she gave in, draping herself across Castle's chest and closing her eyes. Beneath her ear, his heart beat out a steady, if frantic rhythm, and she grinned.

"Happy birthday," she whispered.

"Happy birthday to me, indeed," he agreed, sweeping a lazy hand across her back, and she pressed a light kiss to his chest, curling her hand into his hair.

* * *

><p>"Shower?" he asked, when she shifted off him at last, and she nodded, rolling away to let him stand before padding after him into the bathroom.<p>

Beckett smiled appreciatively at the view in front of her, her grin widening as he reached into the shower to turn the taps on, and he turned back around, a smile spreading across his face as he caught her staring.

He wiggled his eyebrows at her, and she shrugged, not sorry in the least and stepping under the spray of hot water.

She reached for the sponge, applying his shower gel liberally before beckoning to him and laughing. "Wanna wash my back?" she breathed, and he chuckled, taking the sponge in one hand and resting the other on her shoulder, running the sponge across her chest and around to her back in sure circles. She let her body mold into his, breathing deeply as she inhaled the warm honey scent that now covered them as he embraced her, and he stepped back, his hands pausing at her breasts, and she raised her eyebrows at him before leaning forward and pressing a kiss to his mouth.

"What's this?" he asked, lifting the necklace from where it rested between her breasts, and she looked down to see her mom's ring twinkling in the low light of the bathroom.

"Oh. Um- it's my mom's," she murmured, casting her eyes downward, and praying he wouldn't ask her anything else; she couldn't tell him yet. Not when it was his birthday; tonight wasn't going to become about her.

His eyes narrowed in consternation but he nodded. "You ready?" he asked, replacing the sponge on its hook and indicating toward the faucet, and she shook her head.

"Give me a minute," she whispered, and he nodded. She read concern in his eyes and leaned forward to press a soft kiss against his lips. "I won't be long," she assured him, and he smiled at her, plucking his towel from the rail and wrapping it around himself before returning to the bedroom.

She leaned her head back against the tiles, letting the spray wash over her and rinse the last of the suds from her body, before stepping out of the shower at last. She wrapped a towel around her hair and another around herself, scrubbing a hand across the fogged up mirror to clear it. Two troubled hazel eyes stared back at her, and she leaned her forehead against her reflection.

Everything was rushing, tumbling forward, and all Kate could picture was the way her mom's ring had looked in Castle's hand. It felt like she'd spent the decade since she'd given up on her mom's case treading water. Going through the motions, as it were, hiding in a handful of empty relationships, one foot out the door every time.

And that was the crazy thing; most of the men she had dated had been content to tread water with her. Only Demming had pushed any further; she'd given him six months before confessing (to herself, mostly) that her heart wasn't in it. Her feelings for Castle scared her, but she wanted to embrace them instead of running like she always had. Dive in, perhaps, and actually swim against the current with somebody, but she knew in her heart she could only do that if she could put this thing to rest.

She'd fought so hard to get past this. Was she really going to bring it all up again? Was she going to be able to do it properly this time? Could she find a way to solve her mom's case without tumbling down the rabbit hole?

Huh. She stopped to consider for a moment, toweling dry and standing naked, running her fingers through her damp hair. Maybe she could actually do it properly this time. Instead of sneaking around, risking her career by skulking in archives after hours, she could go to the Captain, and officially reopen the case.

If she could prove to him there was something worth checking in to, and simultaneously demonstrate that she was stable enough to handle doing so, he would have to let her look into it. She, and Ryan and Esposito could add the file to the many cold cases they were researching. And maybe, just maybe, this time, with her team, she'd be able to find something.

She slipped into the pair of leggings and the sleep shirt that she'd brought in her overnight bag, still planning in her mind, before she stepped into the bedroom, wordlessly. She could go over the files again, but this time she wouldn't be alone. She could get the boys to go over the interviews, they could talk to the cops from the case. Raglan. Even now she could still remember the name of the lead detective.

Beckett slid under the covers, running a fingertip across her mom's ring and flipping the bedside lamp off. Beside her, Castle was close to sleep, and he snuggled into her. She closed her eyes, running her hand blindly through his hair, wondering just what she'd done right to get what felt like a second chance.

Castle was right. Knowing made a difference, and she was tired of living a half life. It was time to pull back the curtain.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Kylie, thanks for the beta! Mwah!  
><strong>


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter Seventeen**

"No."

"But, Sir-"

Montgomery stared at her from across his desk. "Beckett. I do not have the man power to let you look into this. You know how heavy your case load is. You know what Ryan and Esposito's work load is like. And every day, just about, we get another fresh one."

"Sir, that's exactly my point. Our case load is huge. We have a dozen cold cases we're looking into, at any one time. What's another one?"

"My final answer is no, Beckett." Montgomery sighed, and his expression softened. "Look, I'm sorry. I really am. But whatever's set this off for you, I hope you work it out."

* * *

><p>The next few weeks slammed by at breakneck speed. With a heavy workload, Beckett's downtime was minimal, but she found herself making time for her personal life anyway. She and Castle were anything but defined, but she was spending time with him every couple of days, and he'd come back to her apartment at least once every week since his birthday.<p>

"Come round for dinner?" he asked one afternoon when Beckett was talking to him on the phone. "We could get take-out, watch a movie."

"Just you and me?" she asked. "Or will Alexis and your mother be there too?"

"Alexis has gone back to college," he told her. "And mother will be out. So it will just be you and me."

"Sounds good," she said. "Not that I don't want to see Alexis or your mother, though," she assured him as an afterthought.

"Well, with any luck next time you see mother she'll be fresh out of stories about my childhood."

"Oh, come on, Castle, that was cute," Beckett grinned, before spotting the boys smirking at her from across the room. "I gotta go," she told him. "I'll see you tonight."

"What was cute?" Ryan called.

"Did you know you were twisting your hair?" Esposito added with a grin, and Kate scowled, pulling her hand from her head abruptly.

* * *

><p>"Hi."<p>

"Hi back," Kate said, suddenly nervous; this was the first time she'd come over to his place after work for something as casual as take-out and a movie. And it felt anything but. Casual, that was. Instead, it felt like tonight was weighted far more heavily than any of the dates they'd had so far, like a test; could they take the step toward their relationship becoming an actual relationship rather than a series of dates?

Castle grinned at her, looking her over lazily, and she smirked back at him, raising her eyebrows. "You look amazing," he told her.

She shrugged, stepping over the threshold and letting him kiss her lightly on the lips. She'd dashed home from the precinct to shower and change, pulling on her favorite jeans and a loose sweater; it was nothing fancy but if they were ordering in and watching a movie, she wanted to be comfortable. "So how was your day?" she asked.

"Same old, same old," he grinned. "Except I wrote."

"You're an author," she pointed out. "Isn't that what you're supposed to do?"

Castle chuckled, taking her hand and leading her into the kitchen where he pulled down a bottle of wine and took two glasses from the cupboard. "You'd think that, wouldn't you? But no, procrastination is actually a significant part of being a successful author."

"You don't say," she said, recalling just how often Castle messaged her throughout the day. "So what made today different?"

"Not just today," he said. "This week. Last week. This whole month. Actually, pretty much since I met you."

Beckett's eyes widened. "Don't tell me you were serious and you're actually using me as inspiration!"

"Inspiration!" Castle looked at her, his eyes gleaming. "Inspiration is one way to put it. But no,_ Nikki Heat_ is more than merely inspired. She's brilliant!"

Kate shook her head. He'd lost her. "And who's _Nikki Heat_?"

"The character I'm basing on you, of course."

"No." Kate stepped forward, pointing at Castle. "You're not basing a character on me, and you're not giving her a stripper name."

"But Kate," whined Castle, taking a nervous step back. "I already told you I was basing a character on you."

"And what does my character do?" she asked. "Does this link in with _Storm_, or another series?"

"Storm!" Castle scoffed. "No. _Storm_'s dead. You know that. No. _Nikki_ gets her own book. Probably her own series."

Kate narrowed her eyes. "You have to change the name," she muttered.

But Castle just grinned at her. "So do you still want to watch a movie? Order in? Or you can read a scene from Nikki Heat…"

"Really? You'd let me read it?" Kate's eyes widened, and Castle took another step back.

"Uh- I didn't think you'd go for that," he admitted. "So… no. Not yet. It's really rough."

"Chinese," Kate said. "If I don't get to read _Nikki_, I want Chinese."

"Your wish is my command," Castle told her, and opened a drawer, fishing around for a take-out menu.

* * *

><p>"How's Alexis?" Beckett asked Castle when they were settled onto the sofa that he'd moved into his office. The Chinese was laid out in front of them, and she had a glass of white in her hand.<p>

"Good, I think," he said, his brow furrowing. "She hasn't talked about it much. Actually, she hasn't been around here much, now that I think about it."

"And what about you?" Kate asked. "Are you still having nightmares?" He hadn't woken again whenever they'd been together, as far as she knew.

Rick shook his head. "No. Not so much. Not like- that time." He paused, taking a sip of his wine, and Kate thought he was going to say something else, but he just shrugged. "You want to watch a movie?"

"Sure. What do you have in mind?"

"I, uh- have almost everything."

"Almost everything? What does that even mean, Castle?" He pointed the remote at the screen in answer, bringing up a menu, and scrolled through the movies.

"Hey, Beckett? Do you call all your boyfriends by their last names?"

Kate shrugged, taken aback. Boyfriend? He was her boyfriend? She took a deep breath, considering. Yeah. He probably was. Oh, God. Was this the talk? "Not really," she told him, mentally ticking her former boyfriends off in her head. Josh. Tom. Will. "Nope. Just you," she confirmed, and he laughed, apparently satisfied.

"See anything you like?" he asked.

"Um…" How to answer that. Beckett ran her tongue over her top lip, leaning into him, just a little, before a title on the screen caught her attention. "Oh! You have the_ Princess Bride_!"

He smiled at her, before turning back to the screen and pressing play. "As you wish."

* * *

><p>"You don't have to go already, do you?" Castle asked when the alarm sounded, and Kate closed her eyes again, laying back down and letting her head rest on the pillows.<p>

"Yes," she mumbled, burrowing back under the covers and pressing against his warm body; right now bed sounded like a much better idea than _not_ bed, but she had to go. She did. She smiled, her eyes still shut, when she felt his hands wrap around her waist, pulling her closer, splayed fingers edging up underneath her sleep shirt. "I have to go," she told him, opening her eyes at last.

"I'll make it worth your while if you stay," he promised, raising his eyebrows at her and she grinned sleepily.

"Pancakes?"

He chuckled. "Not what I had in mind." He moved his hands, sneaking just under the waistband of her pajama pants and she breathed in sharply, shifting her hips toward him and grinning as she felt him hard against her.

Fine. She could be a few minutes late.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Readers, you're all awesome. Thanks for the reviews, especially. They make me happy. :) Kylie, your beta-ing is, as always, much appreciated. Mwah.  
><strong>


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter Eighteen**

"Hey, Castle," Kate answered easily. "What's up?"

"Hey," he answered. "Just calling to see how you're doing?"

Beckett raised her eyebrows and looked around the bullpen for a more private place to take the call. It was no good; the floor was packed. Karpowski and Esposito were in the break room and each of the conference rooms looked like they were being used. "You know how I'm doing. You just saw me, Castle. You cooked me breakfast an hour ago."

Damn. She should have lowered her voice before she'd said that; Ryan was raising a knowing eyebrow at her from across the room, and she'd already been on the receiving end of Espo's smirk when she'd come in an hour late.

"Ah. Yeah. Right." He paused, and Kate felt a thread of apprehension rise in her stomach although she couldn't work out what, exactly, was causing the tension. "So, you know I'm friends with the mayor, right?"

"Right. Are you calling to name drop, Castle? Because that's… strange. And I'm much more easily impressed by Patterson. You know that."

"I do know Patterson," he agreed. "And for someone who is supposedly only a lukewarm fan _of the genre_, you sure do own a lot of my books. And too many of Patterson's. Anyway- that's not the point."

"Okay, well, get to the point, Castle-" Beckett looked across to see Ryan gesturing to her, beckoning her to follow. "Because I have a body."

He laughed, but it was a nervous chuckle, and she frowned, standing, and reaching for her jacket, nodding at Ryan that she would be right behind him. "So, every year, the mayor has a benefit to raise money for various charities, and every year I go- I just- I know we got our wires crossed when we were supposed to go out that time, and you canceled and I got roped into going to that event that Paula had arranged, and I was photographed with that girl- I don't even know her name, by the way, she was just someone at the party-"

Kate's heart dropped. What was he trying to say? That he wanted to take someone else to a party? Go alone? She swallowed, angry at herself all of a sudden. Sure, they'd sidestepped the _boyfriend/girlfriend_ conversation last night, but she thought they'd avoided it because it was so obvious-

"Kate? Are you there."

She grimaced. "Uh-huh."

"So do you want to?"

"Want to what?"

"Um…" his voice was hesitant across the line, uncertainty bleeding through. "Come to the party with me."

"Oh." She blinked. _Oh_. He wanted her to come with him. She breathed more easily. "Really?"

He chuckled. "Of course. I mean, I don't want to go by myself- I was calling to see if you would… be my date." He paused and his next words tumbled out in a rush. "I didn't know if you'd want to come because you'll know a lot of people there- the police chief, for example, and I don't know if you want us to go public with our relationship yet."

"Oh." Kate blushed. Their relationship. Going public. _Damn_. And clearly she wasn't as unaffected by his exploits on page six as she'd thought she was; she needed to let that go. He was somewhat famous, and sometimes things like this were going to come up. Meanwhile, Ryan was holding the elevator for her. _Crap_. Her head was spinning and she blinked, trying to work out what to say next.

"But if- if you don't want to come, or-"

Kate pinched the bridge of her nose, squeezing her eyes shut. Why couldn't she get words out? "I do, Castle. I do. I'll come, of course. I'm sorry. I have to go- we have a body." She hung up, her narrowed eyes meeting Ryan's as she stepped into the elevator, daring him to comment, but he looked at her sympathetically.

"Everything okay, Beckett?" he asked, and she shrugged, the fight going out of her.

"I'm not very good at this," she said, and Ryan grinned, his smile warm.

"None of us are, Beckett. Remember how badly I screwed up proposing to Jenny? Lying about where I was when I was really round at her dad's, asking his permission?" He laughed. "Now it just seems silly."

Beckett grinned, remembering. Ryan had been a mess. "Yeah. I don't think we're quite at the proposal stage yet."

The elevator opened as they reached the ground floor, and Ryan gestured for Beckett to precede him, still chuckling.

"Come on. Where are we headed?"

"Midtown. Let's go."

* * *

><p>"I don't think I want to go to this anymore," Beckett complained a week later, twisting around to look at her friend.<p>

"Hold still," Lanie commanded. "Do you want me to burn you?" She brandished the curling iron at Beckett, who turned back around obediently.

"I just think it would be better to keep our… dating status on the down low. After all, I'm a cop. I can't afford to be seen on page six-"

"Kate Beckett! You're going to a small, private party. The mayor, the police commissioner, a few up and coming politicians will be there to pat themselves on the back and celebrate their achievements over the last year. It's not a movie premier. I highly doubt the paparazzi will be there to photograph you as you make small talk with them."

"Maybe," Beckett admitted. "It just feels kind of funny, going to an event like this. Rubbing shoulders with some of the most influential people in New York."

Lanie shrugged. "Maybe it will be worth your while. At the very least, you'll get to see writer-boy in a tux."

Beckett grinned. Yeah. She figured she'd count that as a win. "Are you done with my hair?" she asked.

"Just about," Lanie said, releasing the curling iron and stepping back to admire her handiwork. She reached for the hairspray, applying it liberally until Beckett coughed, twisting, and glaring at her again. "Right," she agreed, setting the spray down next to the curling iron. "You can do your own make-up."

Beckett rolled her eyes, standing and stalking over to the mirror and reaching for her make-up bag on the shelf. "Thanks," she said, softening when she saw what Lanie had done to her hair, and using her fingers to apply a light cover of foundation. "It's going to be okay, right?"

"Oh, sweetie, it's going to be great." Lanie rifled through Kate's cosmetics, handing her a purple eyeshadow. "This one," she instructed, and Kate applied it, followed by lashings of eyeliner and mascara.

Kate stepped back, looking at herself appraisingly in the mirror.

"Come on, dress," Lanie ordered, and she shook her head, following Lanie back into her bedroom. She'd laid her long dark blue cocktail dress on the bed before her friend had arrived, and she looked at it now, unsure. "Stop over thinking this, Kate Beckett," she warned, and Kate offered her friend a small smile.

"Find me some shoes?" she asked, and Lanie exited her bedroom to look through the stilettos in the cupboard by the front door.

Beckett shimmied out of her jeans and took care to avoid messing up her hair when she lifted her shirt over her head. She looked again at the dress, opening a drawer and choosing a low cut strapless bra, and a simple black thong. At least at the end of the night she'd be going home with Castle, and the thought of him in her bed again brought a smile to her face.

* * *

><p>"You look… amazing," Castle said, pressing his lips to her cheek. She smiled, and turned her head, her lips meeting his, and the gentle kiss became a little more heated as his tongue slipped into her mouth.<p>

"A-hem." Lanie cleared her throat and Kate whirled around, blushing.

"Cas- Rick. You remember Lanie?"

He nodded, shaking Lanie's hand. "Nice to see you again," he said and Lanie beamed at him.

"And in better circumstances," she agreed, picking up her purse. "Have a great night," she said, and winked at Kate before leaving.

Castle kissed her again after Lanie left, laughing softly. "I had no idea she was there," he told Kate. "You could warn a man."

Kate smiled. "And where would the fun be in that?" she asked, her heart beating faster as he dipped his lips to her ear, brushing his mouth over her neck beneath her hair. She moaned softly as he found her pulse point, and he nuzzled into her, his hands splayed at her waist. She rocked into him, wanting nothing more than to stay here for the rest of the night.

He moaned too, his mouth meeting hers again, and he kissed her hungrily as she allowed her own hands to make their way around his back and down, pressing into his ass and shivering as his leg pressed between hers in just the right spot.

"Fuck," she whispered into his mouth, barely recognizable as a word, breathing heavily as Castle stepped back, his hands suddenly still at her waist as he held her at arms length.

"Fuck, indeed," he chuckled. "But we have to go."

"I'm not sure I want to go anymore." Kate pressed her lips together, one corner of her mouth turning up in a wry smile as she conceded, picking up her clutch and taking a step toward the door. "You coming?"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Ah, Kylie... you and your patience for all the beta-ing. All the awards, I swear! Reviewers and readers? I didn't get to send out individual thank yous this time, but I love you! P.S. Happy birthday for later this week, Andy! x  
><strong>


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter Nineteen**

The ballroom was stunning, and Kate had to admit, now that she was here; this wasn't so bad, even if staying at home had its appeal. She looked around while she waited for Castle to return with a glass of wine; to her satisfaction she was yet to see any press. The lights were low and hundreds of candles gave the room an air of romance. A jazz band played in the corner of the room, its soft sounds adding to an ambiance that surprised her. It wasn't exactly a movie premiere, it was much too sedate for that, but in spite of the who's who of New York's politicians making the rounds, the atmosphere was relaxed and she was pleased to see the dance floor was in full swing.

"Beckett. I didn't know you were going to be here."

"Sir!" Beckett whirled around. "What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing," he chuckled. "Part of the job, Beckett. I have to attend these things from time to time."

"Here you go," Castle interrupted. Having made his way back to Kate, he pressed a glass of wine into her hand. "Captain Montgomery. It's lovely to see you."

He shook Roy's hand, and Kate smiled nervously. "I'm here with Rick," she told her boss. Well, this was awkward. She guessed attending an event with a man she'd met during the course of a murder investigation wasn't exactly status quo, and she wondered if he would have a problem with it. She was probably breaking a dozen ethics regulations, and if he ever got wind of the fact Castle had helped with that case a few weeks ago he'd probably be furious.

"Well, it's nice to see you both here," Montgomery said, and Kate breathed a sigh of relief. "It's nice to have a familiar face in the crowd."

"Is Evelyn here?" Beckett asked, and Roy shook his head.

"Oh, no. She hates these things. Comes up with an excuse every time."

"Rick! Roy!" They were interrupted again before Beckett could reply as the mayor himself approached them.

The two men greeted him in response, and Rick stepped forward. "Bob, I'd like you to meet Detective Beckett," he said, and Kate took the hand that the mayor offered with a smile.

"It's lovely to meet you," she said.

"Likewise," he nodded. "She one of yours?" he asked Montgomery.

"My best," her mentor replied, and Kate blushed. It was nice to hear the affirmation given how cool Montgomery had been toward her ever since he'd turned down her request to reopen her mother's case.

"And how are you, Ricky?" Kate resisted the urge to roll her eyes at the casualization of Rick's name, but Castle seemed to relish the familiarity, beaming back at the mayor. "Got more bestsellers up that sleeve of yours?"

"I've been struck by a fair bit of inspiration lately," he said, grinning at Kate, and she narrowed her eyes at him. "I've been getting some of the ins and outs of police work from Kate."

"Excellent," Montgomery said, nodding. "You should come into the station some time. Maybe Detective Beckett could take you on a ride-along."

"What a great idea," the Mayor said. "You'd get a hands on approach for your books."

"Told you I could be a civilian consultant!" Castle's eyes lit up, and Kate raised her eyebrows.

"Don't encourage him, Sir," she said, hoping to steer this back on course. "His theories are… fictional, at best."

"Don't listen to her, Rick," Montgomery said. "The NYPD could use a little good publicity."

"See?" Rick nudged Kate and she forced a smile, uncomfortable with the way her personal and professional lives were colliding. Although at least, she supposed, theoretically Montgomery apparently had no problem with having Castle in the precinct eyeing sensitive information.

"I see," she agreed, looking up at him, but the flare of enthusiasm in his eyes, had been replaced with concern.

"Excuse me," Bob said, waving at someone across the room, and Montgomery nodded at them too.

"Have a good evening," he said, turning as well.

"You okay, Beckett?" Castle asked and she nodded.

"It's nothing."

"It doesn't look like nothing," he said. "If you really don't want this-"

She shook her head, raising a finger and cutting him off. "Let's dance," she said, dropping the subject and setting their glasses on a nearby tray, and letting him lead her out to the dance floor.

"So you want to tell me what's got you so riled up?" he whispered in her ear as she rested her head against his chest, trying to calm herself.

"It's really nothing," she insisted, pulling back to meet his eyes. "My career is important to me. I just- I can't have you following me around at the precinct. People will talk."

"But we made a pretty good team when I helped you recently," he countered. "So maybe one case. Just one. So I can get to know my character a little better."

"Is that all I am to you? Character fodder?" She felt her face falling even as she tried to dismiss the uncertainty that was settling in her stomach. What if the _Nikki Heat_ character became more important to him than Kate Beckett?

"Oh, no, Kate. You're so much more. _So_ much more." He met her gaze and she felt herself getting lost in the depths of his blue eyes. As she bit her lip tentatively she realized; they'd been dating and sharing a bed for the better part of three months, had known each other since the middle of February. And she was scared; as each day passed she was slowly falling in love with him.

Her eyes widened as she let the thought sink in; she'd known she liked him, knew that spending time together was meaning more and more to her, but falling in love? Her breath caught as the reality came crashing around her. Castle smiled at her, a soft expression on his face that cut to her core. She was in love. She leaned her head onto his shoulder once again, closing her eyes and breathing him in. "Let's just dance."

* * *

><p>"Huh. That's Senator Bracken," Kate said, after she and Castle had danced for a few songs.<p>

"Do you know him?" Castle asked, taking two glasses from a nearby waiter and holding one out to her.

"Yeah. Kind of." Kate watched the Senator for a moment before looking at Castle, taking the glass from his outstretched hand. She took a sip and watched the bubbles rise in the champagne flute as she thought back to the case; there had been something strange in the man's manner the entire time she'd had to deal with him, but she hadn't given it any more thought after she'd finished up the paperwork on the case. Although she remembered Esposito's comment and no, she wouldn't be voting for the man next time his name was on a ballot paper in front of her. "We had a case- a week or so before you and I met, actually. There was an attempt made on his life-"

"I remember that!" Castle nodded. "His driver, right?"

"Well, someone hired his driver as the hit man, but yeah." She nodded, her eyes drawn back to the Senator as Captain Montgomery approached him. "Huh."

She watched from across the room wishing she was closer so that she could hear them; the conversation looked tense and Montgomery wore a strained look. "Whoa. What's going on there?" Castle asked, interrupting her thoughts, and Beckett shook her head, perplexed.

"I… have no idea," she said honestly. "When we were investigating his case Esposito and I both-" She shrugged, unwilling to admit she'd let her gut instinct get to her. "Evidence wise, everything added up. But Montgomery was edgy that week, and there was an odd atmosphere in the precinct."

Castle shrugged, his arm making its way around her, his hand splaying across her back, and she leaned into him. "Maybe he was just worried about the Senator."

"Sure. We all were. But-"

"No, I mean, he obviously knows him, so maybe he had a reason to be more worried than the rest of you."

"I don't think the Captain knows Bracken," Beckett disagreed. "I don't think he'd met him before the case."

Castle tore his gaze away from the pair across the room. "You sure, Beckett? Because look at that body language. Obviously they're being civil, but they're having some kind of disagreement. And they're standing too close to each other-"

"Because they don't want anyone to overhear them."

"No." Castle shook his head. "I observe people, I make up stories about them. And to do that, I watch them. I'm telling you, they know each other. Not well, but they've met before." He indicated with a nod of his head. "They're standing close. Not as close as you and I right now, but closer, than, say-" he looked around the room to find another example. "See Bob over there? Shaking hands with someone, and now he's stepped back a little? _They_ don't know each other. But Captain Montgomery and Senator Bracken? They don't trust each other, but they do know each other."

Kate watched the two men, not bothering to hide her stare anymore. Castle was right. There was something going on, and her stomach swirled uncomfortably as she worried about just what she, Esposito and Ryan had missed when they'd been protecting the Senator.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: You guys are awesome! Thank you! Thanks for the beta, Kylie! x**


	20. Chapter 20

**Part Three**

**Chapter Twenty**

"How was that big shindig last night?" Esposito asked from his desk as Beckett made her way into the bullpen.

"It was… interesting," Beckett said. "Coffee?"

"Sure." He stood up, following her into the break room, and she beckoned at Ryan to join them.

"Late night?" Ryan asked, and Beckett shook her head, stepping aside to let him at the coffee machine. "Why do I always have to make the coffee?" he grumbled.

"Shouldn't have bragged about working at a coffee shop when you were in school, man," Espo said, and Ryan took the cup that his partner held out with a grimace.

"So, Senator Bracken was there last night," Kate said as Ryan deftly made the coffees.

"Makes sense, I guess," he said, his eyes on the machine. "I mean, he's one of New York's bigwigs these days."

"Yeah." Kate accepted the coffee, smiling at Ryan in thanks and taking an appreciative sip. "Montgomery was there too."

Ryan shrugged, handing a second coffee to Esposito.

"Huh," Esposito said, meeting Kate's eyes, and she nodded.

"What's going on?" Ryan asked, looking at each of them in turn.

Beckett hesitated, unsure how to explain without sounding paranoid.

"Remember how weird Montgomery was when we had to protect the Senator back in February?" Esposito asked.

"Hmm." Ryan nodded. "He was weird, wasn't he? I thought he was just having a bad week. Are you saying there's a connection?"

Beckett nodded. "Maybe? I don't know. But I saw Bracken and Montgomery at the benefit last night. They were talking to each other and it looked… strained."

"Could be anything, Beckett," Esposito pointed out, and Beckett dipped her head in acquiescence.

"I know," she said. "But since we're detectives… let's detect. Very quietly. I want this to stay on the down-low. I just want to check into Bracken a bit. I doubt he's as squeaky clean as he wants to be portrayed and, I don't know, I just- he sets me on edge, okay?"

"Let me see if I've got this straight," Ryan said. "Your spidey-sense is tingling and you want us to investigate a United States Senator? Off the books?"

Kate averted her eyes, avoiding both Ryan and Esposito, looking out at the bullpen. She saw Montgomery step off the elevator and stride into his office, raising a hand to wave at her and the boys through the break room window. "I don't have a _spidey-sense_," she said at last. "But my gut's telling me there's more to this than meets the eye, so I'd like to check it out."

* * *

><p>"Yo. Beckett. I think I have something."<p>

"On Bracken?" Beckett asked, and Esposito shook his head.

"No. In case you hadn't noticed, we have an actual case this morning."

"Right." Beckett blushed. "What have you got?"

"Victim's husband was having an affair. With her sister."

Beckett raised her eyebrows. "And the sister was his alibi, right?"

"You got it," Esposito told her, and she nodded.

"Let's pick him up," she said, standing and draining the last of the coffee in her mug.

"Right behind you," Esposito replied.

She stepped around her desk and cast a glance into Montgomery's office as they walked past. He was hunched over his computer as usual. She didn't envy him his job; he was continually tied up with paperwork, rarely making it out to a crime scene or into an interrogation room these days. No, Beckett preferred a more hands on role, that was for sure.

He glanced up as she passed, and she smiled at him, intent on heading for the elevator, but he beckoned her in. "Hold on, Espo," she said, opening the door to Montgomery's office. "Sir?"

"Sit down, Beckett."

"Sir- Esposito and I are on our way out to pick up our vic's husband."

Montgomery glanced up, apparently seeing Esposito hovering outside his office for the first time. "Where's Ryan?" he asked, and Kate sighed inwardly.

"Take Ryan," she instructed Esposito, stepping into the Captain's office and closing the door behind her. She sat down, and was struck by the memory of the first time she'd come face to face with this man. During her initial few weeks on the force she'd made her way down into the locked archives room and had been sprung copying her mom's case file. He would have been well within his rights to write her up for the transgression, but he'd chosen to turn a blind eye.

Later, though, when she'd been unable to tear herself away from her futile investigation, he'd been the one to call her on it, telling her that she had to choose between her mother's case, and her career. Recognizing that she also had to make a choice for her mental health, she'd stepped away from the case, physically removing the file from her home to her father's storage locker.

"Beckett, do you know what I like about my job?" Montgomery asked, and Kate settled back into the chair. She'd been privy to a handful of the Captain's musing over the years, and she knew she would be there a while.

"No, Sir," she said.

The Captain was silent a moment, his hands pressed together in front of him. "I like that we can make things right," he said at last. "We can't fix things. We can't change the past, and we can't bring people back from the dead. But we can speak for them, and we can stand for them. We can make things better."

Beckett nodded. "Yes, Sir."

"I think you know this, Beckett. And I know you wanted to reopen your mother's case. I admire that about you. I've always admired your tenacity. Your drive."

"Thank you."

"I had an interesting phone call this morning," Roy said, switching tacks.

"Okay." Beckett frowned. Surely there was no way Bracken could know she wanted to investigate him. She shook her head. That was silly. She, Esposito and Ryan were the only people who had been privy to that discussion.

"From the mayor," he told her. "Stop looking so worried, Beckett. I know last night you said you didn't want to do it, but Richard Castle is a close personal friend of the mayor, and after our chat last night he called me up to see if Rick could come in and observe."

"Sir? You realize that I'm…" she rolled her eyes. "…_dating_ Castle. Don't you? Isn't this a bit of a conflict of interest?"

"Oh, come on, Beckett. Those regulations are for partners. Castle will come in, get a taste for what we do- the mayor tells me you're the inspiration for his next book. Think of the publicity."

"Oh, I am," Beckett assured him. "And I don't want it."

"Well, I do." Roy told her, his tone leaving no doubt that the deal was done. "Besides, if you're dating the man, don't you want to spend more time with him? The hours you put in here, Beckett, I don't know how you have a personal life."

Beckett shrugged. "Must be the same for you and Evelyn," she pointed out.

Roy chuckled. "I keep promising her I'm going to retire," he said.

"But you never do."

"I never do," he agreed.

"Sir, can I ask you something?"

"Shoot."

"What were you and Senator Bracken talking about last night?"

"Uh- I was wishing him well for the next election," Roy said, and Kate nodded, spotting it as a lie.

"Had you ever met him? Before we had him in here in February, I mean?" she pressed, and Montgomery shook his head.

"No. What's this all about, Beckett?"

"Nothing," she lied. "I was just surprised to see him last night."

"I see." Roy regarded her for a moment longer. "Go on, Beckett. Catch up with Ryan and Esposito, see what they've got on the husband."

Beckett nodded and stood up.

"I'll call Mayor Weldon back," Montgomery said when she reached the door. "Let him know that Castle can come in and observe any time."

She nodded, resigned to a lost cause; her boyfriend would be following her around at work.

* * *

><p>"What did you learn?" Beckett asked Esposito and Ryan when they made their way back into the precinct.<p>

"Nada," Esposito said. "Zip. Husband's alibi seems to hold- a few people corroborated the story."

"What did the boss want?" Ryan asked, and Kate rolled her eyes.

"The _mayor_ thinks it would be a good idea for Castle to come in and observe us, maybe come on a few ride-alongs. To help him with his next book," she snorted.

"Hey, cool," Ryan said.

"Not cool!" Beckett exclaimed. "Last thing I need is Rick following me around at work."

"Yeah, but maybe he'll be useful," Ryan suggested.

Esposito laughed. "Well, one of them will be at least- Beckett will be too busy swooning over the guy to get any work done."

"Shut up," Beckett hissed. "I will not."

"Yeah." Ryan nudged Esposito. "Remember when Beckett and Demming had to work together?"

"Yeah, she could hardly keep her hands off him," Esposito agreed with a grin.

"Not true," Beckett disagreed; that certainly wasn't how she remembered it. Although she couldn't deny that her feelings - her _attraction_ - to Castle was ten times stronger than that short-lived relationship had been. She had to admit to herself; one of the nagging doubts about Castle working with her was the concern that once he was in the bullpen with her, it would take all of her willpower to show him the ropes while refraining from dragging him off to the nearest supply closet and-

"We're just messing with you, Beckett," Esposito interrupted her daydream. "But seriously, your boy was quick on the uptake with that security tape the day he came in here."

Beckett shrugged a shoulder. "I guess." She stared at the murder board, unseeing; she could fantasize about Castle later. Or better still, go round to his place tonight and live the fantasies. "I did learn something else today," she said, lowering her voice and looking around to check that no-one was within earshot. "I learned that Captain Montgomery lied to my face when I asked if he knew Senator Bracken."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thank you all so much for the reviews... I didn't get a chance to send any individual notes this time round but I appreciate them all! Many thanks, Kylie, for looking over the chapter for me. :)**


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter Twenty-One**

"What time do you need to be in at the precinct?" Castle asked, pressing a cup of coffee into her hand, and Kate frowned, looking at her watch.

"I should have been there half an hour ago," she confessed.

He winced. "You mean to say you wanted to get into work at seven?"

Kate shrugged. "Well obviously I didn't _want_ to, since I haven't left yet," she pointed out, pulling her shirt on over her head and pushing her necklace below the neckline. "What time did you say your meeting with legal was?"

"It's at ten."

"Okay." So. She tried to work it through in her mind. If she got into the precinct by eight - and she wasn't sorry that she wasn't there already, not even a little bit - she would have time to check in with Esposito and Ryan before Castle could get wind of her off the books investigation. Maybe they would find a nice logical explanation that tied everything together in a neat bow, and-

"Hey." Castle nudged her. "You okay? Where'd you go just then?"

"Nowhere. Sorry," she apologized, bringing the coffee cup to her lips and taking a sip; the rich blend had her closing her eyes, a moan escaping before she could stop it, and Castle chuckled.

"I swear, if all I have to do to get _that_ sound from you is supply you with caffeine, I'm not sure why we did what we did last night-"

"Oh, you have regrets, do you?" she teased, a smile tugging at her lips, and he raised his hands in self-defense.

"None. None whatsoever," he promised, and she grinned, letting him take the cup from her hands and place it on the nightstand before pulling her into an embrace, his hands splaying at her waist. He leaned in, his lips brushing gently against hers, before leaning back to meet her eyes. "Are you really okay with me coming in today?"

She shrugged, blowing her hair out of her eyes before answering. "Honestly? I don't really feel like I was given a choice." She raised a finger to quell the protest that she knew was on the tip of his tongue. "Not from you. I know we talked about it last night, and it's all been set in motion. I get that. So between you, Montgomery, and the mayor, I guess I'll just go with it."

"Just wait," he murmured, his lips finding their way to her ear, and she closed her eyes, his breath on her throat creating goosebumps on her skin. "It's going to be fun."

* * *

><p>"Yo, Beckett. Check this out." Esposito, with Ryan hot on his heels, tapped on the open door of the workroom she was currently ensconced in, before stepping into the room and closing the door behind them.<p>

"What's up, Espo," she asked, turning to see what they had.

"Kate, when you asked us to look into Bracken? What did you expect us to find?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. Possibly nothing. Why? Did something pop?"

Esposito pulled out the chair beside Beckett and sat down. "Not really. But I just wanted to fill you in. Back in the early nineties he was Assistant D.A. right here in Manhattan. It's after that that things start to get interesting. Now, he came from a family that was well off, but he wasn't _that _wealthy. Not wealthy enough to have the kinds of funds that he threw into his first Congressional campaign."

"Could be anything." Beckett pushed her hair out of her face, curious to see what Espo had to say. "What was he up to back then? Who was around? What was going on in New York in the early nineties?"

"You know who would know?" Esposito asked, tipping his head toward the Captain's office, but Beckett shook her head.

"We're not asking him. I've asked him about Bracken before. I'm not doing it again."

"No. Not about Bracken. Just get him talking about what it was like being a cop on the beat back then."

Kate shrugged a shoulder. "Bit of a needle in a haystack, Espo."

Esposito raised his eyebrows at her. "Beckett- you're the one who wants us to comb through the haystack."

"I know." She leaned back in her chair, closing her eyes for a second. "There's something to this. I'm sure of it." She pressed her fingertips to her temple, thinking. "So where did this money for the campaign come from?"

"Not from his own accounts, that's for sure. Or, at least, not the accounts he still has. I'm trying to track it down, but I'm hitting a lot of dead ends.

"God, Espo. The more I think about it, the less I understand. Montgomery- it's not just me, is it? He's been… strained this year. Right?"

Esposito nodded slowly. "Yeah. He has. But hey, maybe Evelyn's just trying to get him to retire again."

"I don't know why he doesn't," Kate said. "He's- I don't know. Am I out of line, Espo? Because until this year I felt like Montgomery had my back. He's mentored me throughout my whole career. And now he's lying to me about Bracken? Stopping me from reopening my mom's case-"

"Your mom's case?" Ryan's head jerked up. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, I asked if we could look into it again- don't look at me like that. I know what you're thinking. I can handle it. It's not like before- it's been years. But something Castle said got me thinking. I can't live my whole life not knowing. I can't be the person I want to be until I put this to rest." She sighed. "But it's futile, because Montgomery wouldn't let me reopen it. He said our case load was heavy enough as it is. None of this makes any sense."

Esposito sat up with a chuckle, and she frowned at him, surprised at his reaction. "I have a feeling your day's about to get better," he said, nodding at the scene inside the bullpen. "Your boy's here."

"Well. He'll love this- he loves a good conspiracy theory," Beckett sighed, standing up. "Seriously. Tell me. _Am_ I out of line? Am I chasing shadows? Or am I on to something?"

"I don't know," Ryan said, his voice quiet with reluctance. "But I have an idea. And I don't think either of you are going to like it."

"What is it?" she asked.

"You think Montgomery has something on Bracken, right?"

"Right." Kate nodded, her hand already on the door handle, ready to turn it and find out what was going on with Castle.

"What if it's the other way round? What if it's Montgomery we need to be investigating?"

She whirled around to see Espo's expression frozen, a glare directed at Ryan. "No way, man," Esposito exclaimed, and Beckett released her grasp on the door handle.

Ryan held his hands up in a gesture of surrender. "Look. I'm not saying there's anything there. But if we're going to look into this we have to look at all possible angles. And this whole thing started because you had a sense that something was off with Montgomery back in February."

Kate drew in a deep breath, considering. Ryan was right. She hated it, but he was; she couldn't ignore this just because his good cop instincts were taking her places she didn't want to go. She shook her head. The truth can't hurt you, her mother had always said. Well, it was time to put that theory to work. "Let's check," she said at last, her voice low, meeting Ryan's eyes, and he nodded.

"You're both unbelievable," Espo said, shaking his head, his eyes dark with anger. "Montgomery brought us into homicide. What have we got?" He glared at Beckett. "A hunch. It's not enough." He threw the door open, storming through it, cursing under his breath as he went.

"He'll come round," Ryan told her, tilting his head toward Castle. "Go on. Show your boy the ropes."

* * *

><p>"That looked serious," Castle said when they were alone at her desk, civilian consultant paperwork signed. "Everything okay?"<p>

"Yeah. No. I don't know." She rubbed a tired hand over her face. "I think I just need a few days out of here."

"But I just got here!" he exclaimed, all puppy dog eyes, and she shook her head.

"Yeah. Well. You know how I feel about that, too." Her good humor from the morning was long gone, and any patience she'd had had evaporated in that workroom. She wished she could rewind, back to before they'd even had the Bracken case; this whole thing was troubling. _But then you wouldn__'t have met Castle_, a voice in her mind nagged, and she closed her eyes, pressing her fingertips to the bridge of her nose and drawing in a deep breath in an attempt to calm herself.

"Come on, Beckett. It's going to be fun."

"Fun? There's that word again. You know what I do, right?"

"Look. There's already a chair here. It's like you've been waiting for me!"

Beckett narrowed her eyes at him. "You think I put that there for you?"

"I think it's serendipitous," he said. "This little spring here is a little uncomfortable. Kind of sticks into me. And the edge is a little worn. Very authentic."

"You're getting serendipity out of an old office chair in the precinct?"

Castle nodded, laughing, and reaching out to pick up the line of elephants on Beckett's desk.

"Put them down," she said, breathing deeply again and letting herself sink into her own chair, more composed already now that Castle was messing with her. This, _this_, she could handle. "And you don't open any drawers, or answer my phone or look at any of my stuff."

"I've already seen your stuff, Detective," he said, his voice low and dangerous, and Beckett swallowed. Here it was. The kind of behavior she'd been expecting since Castle had wrangled this favor with the mayor. The ghost of a smile graced her lips as she breathed deeply, relaxing at the familiar flirtation. The flirting that she was going to give in to.

No. She had to stay strong. The precinct was no place for this. "No," she said, fixing him with another look and brandishing a pencil at him. "No flirting. Professional behavior at all times."

Castle laughed. "Come on, Beckett, take me on a ride-along."

She bit her lip, trying to think of a response that wasn't dirty and coming up empty. She looked up, grateful to catch Ryan's eye across the room. She nodded at him as he held up a pad of paper, tapping it, and she stood up. "Looks like we have a body," she said to Castle. "You comin'?"

* * *

><p>"Are you <em>really<em> okay?" Castle asked when they were alone in her cruiser, and she nodded, thin-lipped. If he could just leave it. Even if Montgomery was insisting on the ride-along the last thing she wanted was for Castle to become involved. She bit back a grimace at the thought; in a few short months Castle had become her safe place, a calm in the storm. He had no idea - _none _- of just how forcefully he'd pushed away so many of her demons, and in spite of how much she was still keeping from him, she wanted to be able to confide in him in her own time.

Her gut clenched yet again at the thought of bringing him into this thing she and the boys were starting. She hadn't even told him about her mother yet. The idea of bringing him into a clandestine investigation shrouded in secrecy was nothing but a bad idea, but if he was going to be this involved in her life she didn't know how she'd be able to avoid it.

"It's nothing." A cloud passed over his face, and she could tell she wasn't fooling him. "Really," she insisted. "I'm fine."

He nodded, apparently willing to drop it, and looked around the car with a grin on his face. "This is so cool. Show me your cuffs again."

Kate threw her head back against the head rest, groaning. "I showed them to you at the last set of lights. And I showed you my gun holster at the one before that. And I am not throwing the gumball on, or running any reds. And-" she reached out and slapped at his hand- "I'm not letting you play with the police radio."

"This is awesome," he said, ignoring her rant. "Did you know I've never sat in the front of a police car before?"

"You don't say?" Beckett rolled her eyes. This was way worse than she'd imagined. She'd thought he'd get in the way. She hadn't counted on him being… cute. Ugh. This was terrible.

He was jumpy and eager and smiling and the whole thing was just so… inappropriate, the way he was sitting there, his hair all perfect and his smile dazzling. Not to mention the fact that sitting in such close proximity to him in her cruiser meant she could smell the light scent of whatever aftershave he was wearing, and she had to force herself to push his hand away from the radio rather than hold onto it. The light turned green, and she released the clutch, hitting the gas.

"Beckett, do you have the Memorial Day long weekend off?" Castle asked.

"Uh, it depends. If we wrap this case, yeah, I'm done with work at five today. Why?" Beckett asked. Where was this coming from? They'd spent the whole night together - her cheeks warmed at the memory - and he hadn't mentioned the long weekend.

"I was thinking of going up to my place in the Hamptons. You could come. New York's finest deserves a break. Oh, and there's a secluded pool. You could lay out, work on your tan."

"Wow, Castle, you're working really hard to see me in a swimsuit, considering you saw it all last night."

Castle smirked. "If you are not comfortable in a swimsuit, you can just skinny dip."

Beckett smiled. "I think I'll skip the skinny dipping, if it's all the same to you-"

"It's not all the same to me, but I'll accept both bikini and one piece as acceptable swim wear if skinny dipping is off the table."

Beckett rolled her eyes. "It's off the table."

"Beckett!" Castle whined. "Please tell me that coming to the Hamptons is on the table?"

She shrugged, pulling up at the scene. "Castle, we have a body. Can we talk about this later?"

* * *

><p>"Who would murder a nun?" Castle asked again, when they were back in the precinct, confession obtained, and this time it was Ryan who groaned.<p>

"Man, you _obviously_ didn't go to Catholic school, so don't talk to me about nuns anymore." He turned around and stalked back to his own desk, oblivious to Beckett's raised eyebrow.

"I think he likes me," Castle commented, nodding at the man's retreating back, and Beckett swallowed a grin; she knew the detective well enough to know that he wouldn't be messing with Castle if he didn't like him.

"Castle, stop asking who would murder a nun. We know exactly who did it, and he's in holding right now, waiting to be taken down to Central Booking."

"Yeah, but a _priest_? And if he's in holding, what are we still doing here?"

"Yeah. A priest." Beckett nodded. "And we're still here because it's only four o'clock, and some of us have paperwork."

"Maybe the devil spoke to him…" Castle mused. "A devil who loves creating paperwork for the most extraordinary cop in New York City…"

Beckett suppressed a smile. "Castle?"

"Yeah?"

"Go home," she told him. "I'll be out of here in an hour. You can pick me up at my place at six. I'll come to the Hamptons with you."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thanks for beta, K! And you guys, with your reviewing... thank you. x**


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter Twenty-Two**

Kate stepped out of the shower, her uneasiness returning once she was no longer under the hot spray. Castle's place was amazing; something else entirely to whatever it was that she had been expecting. And sure, her parents had been comfortable, but they'd lived in a spacious apartment, not an extravagant loft.

And they had holidayed at her parents' cabin upstate.

Rather than the quiet class of Castle's house in the Hamptons, Beckett family vacations had been punctuated with the sound of noisy crickets and cicadas, and Kate's own shouts and cries as she'd careened around the overgrown garden.

This… _this_ was something else entirely.

Castle had been oblivious to her discomfort, leading her on a whirlwind tour of the house - no, _mansion_ - before insisting on a swim to ease their tired muscles after a long drive. The water had provided her with a welcome distraction from thinking about just how intense the day had been with Castle at her side at the precinct, from the new information Esposito had come up with on Bracken, and from how out of her league she was here.

Instead, Kate had focused on the man in the pool with her and how relaxing it was to be here, letting Castle tease her about her bathing suit - specifically the fact she was wearing one - and just how badly he wanted to peel it off her. "You can lay out there and tan, tomorrow," he'd said, pointing at the expanse of lawn that evidently led down to the beach frontage. "And I'll write. It will be inspiring."

She'd rolled her eyes, and pulled him to her, determined to kiss her own fears away. But now, alone in the master bathroom after their swim, she was less confident. A one piece swim suit was one thing, but she hadn't thought this weekend getaway through; she should have packed sexier undergarments, she realized, looking disdainfully at the sleep shirt and short shorts that she'd brought into the bathroom with her, and she sighed, toweling off before stepping into her pajamas.

"Hey…" Castle wasn't in bed yet, and he turned when he heard her enter the master bedroom, from where he stood in the doorway to the open terrace, holding up a bottle of wine in a gesture of question. "You okay?"

"I'm fine," she said, taking light steps toward him and drinking him in; it was easy to be distracted around Castle, she concluded. "What are you doing?"

"Looking at the stars," he said, looking back up at the sky and stepping through the doorway and into the cool evening air. "Counting my lucky ones."

He glanced back at her, and Kate was surprised to see that he appeared deadly serious.

"Alexis texted," he said. "She wants to come up here tomorrow. That okay with you?"

"Of course," she said, surprised and touched that he was asking. "Why wouldn't it be?"

He chuckled, opening the bottle - not wine, she saw, but champagne - and beaming in satisfaction at the pop of the cork. "Well, Beckett, having Alexis here means this isn't exactly the romantic weekend I had planned. I hardly think you'll be skinny dipping or topless sunbathing with my daughter here- just didn't want you to be too disappointed."

"I'm devastated." She rolled her eyes at him, stepping the last of the way over the threshold and punching him lightly on the arm. Smiling, he caught her arm and pulled her to him, moving her into a hug, and she exhaled, relaxing again now that she was enveloped in his scent. He nuzzled his nose into her hair and set the bottle of champagne next to the glasses on the table, dropping his hands down to her waist; a firm grip that felt strangely possessive but not unwelcome. "Does Alexis come up here a lot?"

He shook his head. "No. But we came up here after- after Paris. And we usually come up here for this long weekend. Or we used to, anyway. It was a tradition when she was a little girl." Castle looked back out toward the beach. "She hasn't come for the last couple of years though- too busy doing her own thing."

"You think she's okay?" Kate asked quietly, and Castle shrugged uncertainly.

"We used to be so close," he said. "We still are, I guess. But since she went to college… I miss her. And since Paris… I'm scared," he confessed. "I'm scared of not giving her enough space, but I don't want to leave her on her own too much either."

"Mmm," Kate nodded.

She leaned into him, closing her eyes and letting herself unwind before wrapping her own hands around his back and shifting so that she could see him and rest her forehead against his. He leaned forward, tracing the length of her nose with his own before pressing his lips against hers, his mouth gentle at first, and then hot and demanding.

She moaned, moving her own hands down and slipping them under his shirt. From there, it was fast and frantic, limbs colliding, as they struggled to divest each other of their clothing. Beckett found herself backed up against the wall of the terrace, her shorts kicked off and her shirt askew as Castle ran sure fingers from her waist, across her stomach, to her hips, until she gasped in frustration and took his hand, guiding him until he was touching her. She reached her own hand between them, stroking him through his pajama pants before pushing them down and opening to him.

* * *

><p>"Uh- found your shorts," he laughed, handing them to her and adjusting his own pants.<p>

"Thanks." Beckett bit her lip, oddly shy after the frantic love-making on the terrace. She slipped her shorts back on and sat on the wicker chair that looked out over the dark garden, pulling her shirt back down. "It's beautiful, Castle."

"It is," he agreed, and when she glanced at him she was surprised to see he was looking at her, wonder in his eyes, instead of out to the beach. "So?" he asked, clearing his throat. "Champagne?"

She nodded, taking the glass her poured for her and tipping her glass toward his.

"To a great weekend," he offered.

"Mmmm… and to us," she murmured, and he wiggled his eyebrows at her, his eyes dancing with laughter.

"Why, Detective Beckett. Did I just see evidence of your more sentimental side?"

"Don't know what you're talking about," she hedged with a grin, before meeting his eyes again. "Okay… well, maybe."

He nudged into her with his knee, his thigh against hers, and he reached out, entwining his fingers with hers. "Relax," he urged her. "We've got the whole weekend. We're going to sleep in, and swim, and walk along the beach."

"Sounds perfect," she agreed, sipping her champagne and leaning back, nestling into Castle. She closed eyes, drinking in the sound of the waves crashing against the beach. And as she felt him press a kiss into her hair, she smiled, suddenly certain; this was what being in love was supposed to feel like.

This was perfect.

* * *

><p>"Wake up," she heard, low and frantic, and she thrashed out against the sound. Images swirled; flashes of red and blue, her father's face dissolving into her mother's smile. But Johanna's smile turned into an angry glare. '<em>You gave up<em>,' her mother hissed.

"I didn't. I _didn__'t_-" she cried.

"Wake up," she heard again, calmer this time, and a hand was on her shoulder, soothing, gentle, sure. "Wake up, Kate."

She squirmed, the low moan that she could hear foreign to her ears. Then she understood. She was the one moaning. She opened her eyes slowly, blinking back the images that were imprinted on her eyelids. "Castle?" she asked, twisting around to try and get a bearing on her surroundings. Her cheeks colored as memories of the day before came flooding back; Castle working the case with her, the drive up to the Hamptons, making love on the balcony. "Ooooh," she sighed.

"Kate?" Castle asked. "You okay? Babe, you had a nightmare." Even in the confusion she recognized the pet name and she shrank away.

"Babe?" she repeated, and he chuckled.

"Babe," he said. "Sweetheart. Dear. Darling."

She choked out a laugh, at last; if his intention was to lighten the mood, it was working.

"Seriously, Kate," he said, his fingers running a bold course along her side. "That was one hell of a nightmare. You want to talk about it?"

"Want?" she asked quietly. "No. Not really." She bit her lip, replaying it in her mind. The images were fading quickly, and her breathing was returning to normal. It was time to tell him, come clean about her demons. "What did you hear?"

"You kept saying 'I didn't'. What didn't you do, Kate?"

"I didn't give up," she said, blinking back sudden hot tears. "I… I didn't. But… maybe I did?"

"Didn't give what up?" he asked, and in the dark he was nothing more than a silhouette, and she found she could speak, could tell him what she'd never even told Josh.

"I… remember when we met? And you told me I shouldn't be a cop?"

"Huh? Kate- I was- I was just talking. I was scared. I do that. Say stuff. I didn't-"

"Shh," she said, moving her hand to intercept his steady path across her ribcage and entwining her fingers in his. "I shouldn't have been a cop. You know, I was pre-law at Stanford, but I was taking Russian Literature too. I came home for winter break after my first semester, and I was taking an extra week- I was missing my first week of classes, but- it didn't seem to matter. School was fun, but being back in New York was fun too. The night before I was meant to fly out, we were going to have dinner. My mom, my dad and I. And she was gonna meet us at the restaurant but she never showed. Two hours later we went home, and there was a detective waiting for us. Detective Raglan. They found her body. She had been stabbed."

"Kate…" he breathed.

"I was… nineteen," she said. "And I didn't go back to school that semester. I transferred to NYU, and when I finished, I went straight to the academy."

"You wanted to solve the case."

Kate nodded, unlacing her fingers from his and wiping the tears from her cheeks. "But- I couldn't do it. I- Castle, I spiraled down. I had to step away. Montgomery- he caught me at the precinct on one too many of my days off."

"That's- that's what the tattoo is all about, isn't it?"

Kate nodded, smiling weakly as Castle reached for her wrist, running a warm finger over the tiny letters, invisible in the dark. "That's what the tattoo is about," she echoed.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Kylie edited (thank you!)... then I changed stuff. Fingers crossed no glaring typos!? And, um... I try not to comment too much on the story in my notes, but some of you were wondering when she would tell him about her mom. Ta-da!**


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter Twenty-Three**

"Thank you," Castle murmured, coming to stand beside Kate, and nudging into her with his hip, the soft look on his face just one more reason to cause her lips to curl up in a smile. A lazy breakfast, a walk on the beach, and now a top up of her coffee; the morning had been a textbook study in relaxation.

"For what?" she asked, holding the coffee pot out to Castle in question. He shook his head, and she shrugged, pouring the last of it into her own cup.

"For last night. For-" Kate shot him a look and he chuckled. "Not for _that_… although…" She grinned, swatting at him and he held both hands up, open-palmed in a gesture of surrender. "No," he continued. "Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me about your mom."

"It felt like time," she said, dropping her gaze and fighting to keep her voice even. Sharing her history in the dark last night had been one thing - and she had no regrets - but she didn't want the shadow of the revelation to hang over the whole weekend.

He nodded, taking her coffee cup from her hands and sipping it before handing it back to her. "Have you ever thought about reopening the case?" he asked at last, and she smiled wryly at the level of forced detachment she could hear in his voice.

"I have," she told him gently. "A while back… when you told me about your dad? I realized then that I didn't want to live not knowing… so I asked Captain Montgomery if we could reopen it, but he won't let me. Maybe one day."

"I can help, you know," he offered, and she shrugged. How could he help? "I have money. Connections. Maybe we could look into it. Off the books?"

"Mmm." Kate shook her head, putting her mug back on the counter. The coffee was cold anyway, and she would make a new pot as soon as Alexis arrived. Which - she glanced at her watch - would be any minute. "That's sweet, Castle. But… no. Not now."

She squeezed her eyes shut, rubbing her face and swallowing. No. Definitely not now. One off-the-books investigation at a time was all she could handle. She sighed; she would have to share her investigation into the Senator with Castle eventually, but one bombshell so far this weekend was enough.

She spun around at the sound of Alexis' voice carrying from the entry hall, plastering a smile on her face as the red-head came into view, peeking her head around the kitchen door.

"Hey, Pumpkin!" Castle rushed forward to embrace his daughter, and Kate stood awkwardly in the kitchen, watching the exchange.

"Hi, Kate," Alexis said, smiling shyly at Beckett, and she grinned back at the teenager.

"How was your trip here?" she asked.

"Good," Alexis nodded. "I'm just going to go put my bag upstairs."

"Sure," Castle said. "And then come right back down- I want to hear all about college, okay?" He turned to Kate. "Want to eat out by the pool?"

Kate nodded. "Sure. You wanna make sandwiches?"

Castle nodded, turning and pulling things from the fridge, and Kate smiled. This felt awfully domestic, but more than that; with Alexis here too, it felt a lot like _family_. And that felt good. She turned back to the coffee machine, setting it to make a fresh pot before reaching for a tray and moving everything from the counter onto it; the bread, and the cheese and deli meats Castle had pulled from the fridge.

"How often do you get up here?" she asked.

"I- uh-" Castle's voice was muffled as he rifled through the pantry. "Not that often. Why?"

"There's so much stuff here," she said, remembering the way her parents would complete a huge grocery shop before going to the cabin each summer. "The kitchen is so well stocked." She picked up some of the fruit on the counter, putting strawberries into a bowl.

"Ah, yeah," he said, turning finally, and holding up a jar of marmalade triumphantly. "Got it!"

"Marmalade? You don't just have normal strawberry jelly?"

"This is the best ever," he assured her, setting it onto the tray. "I have a guy-"

"Interesting," she interrupted, laughing, and Castle chuckled.

"Not like that. Honestly, Detective, I never-" he shook his head, leaning in and kissing her. "I have a guy up here who I can call. He takes care of the garden, and makes sure the pool will be warm when I come up, that kind of thing. And, actually, smarty-pants, it's his wife who does the grocery shopping." He stuck his tongue out at her and she suppressed a smile, picking up the tray, and letting Castle follow her out to the table by the pool.

* * *

><p>"What are your plans for the summer?" Kate asked Alexis.<p>

"Well- that's one of the reasons I came out here," she said, shooting her father a look. "Professor Rankowski still hasn't received the check for my Costa Rica trip."

"He didn't? That's so weird."

"I'm supposed to go to Costa Rica for a six week study trip," Alexis said, turning to Kate to explain. "But I need Dad to sign the check." She scowled, looking at Rick, and Kate swallowed, not sure she should be witnessing what looked like a private argument.

"Why do you want to go study the rainforest for six weeks anyway?"

"Dad, we talked about this."

"I know. But you're going to be staying in the middle of a jungle, miles away from the nearest phone, hours from the nearest hospital. You could be bitten by a poisonous spider, or a poisonous snake. I looked it up. Toucans are extremely aggressive this time of year."

Alexis shook her head. "Is this about Paris? Because if you're worried about dangerous behavior, you might want to look a little closer to home. I came round yesterday and Gram told me that you were out playing cop!"

"I- Alexis. I told you I was going to follow Kate around," he said, shooting his girlfriend a desperate look. "You said you were okay with it."

Kate's eyes widened. Was letting Castle follow her around at work really causing a rift between him and his daughter? Because the last thing she wanted was to upset the balance between them.

"I am, Dad," she said, her expression softening. "But you're getting on with your life and I need to do the same. And you need to let me." She turned to Kate. "Trust me. It's really great that he's got you to follow around. And he let me read the first draft of a _Nikki Heat_ chapter. It's really good." She laughed, a teasing tone in her voice. "Much better than the last few books."

Castle hesitated, staring at the pool for a moment before turning back to his daughter.

"I will admit to being slightly overprotective in light of recent events," he agreed at last. "I'll write the check. And there was nothing wrong with my last few books, but you're right- _Nikki Heat_ is better."

Kate smiled, breathing a sigh of relief as the tension appeared to lift from Castle and Alexis.

"Just don't come back with dreadlocks," he told her. "Or a new boyfriend."

"I'm going there to _study_," she told him, and Kate chuckled, interrupting.

"That's what I said when I went to Kiev between junior and senior year."

"You went to Kiev?" Castle asked, his eyes wide.

"And did you?" Alexis asked. "Study, I mean?"

Kate grinned, leaning forward and pouring cups of coffee for each of them. "Sure. I studied. I also partied. And came home with a boyfriend _my_ father didn't approve of. I'm with your dad though, on the dreadlocks."

"I'm going there to study the rainforest," Alexis protested. "Not to flirt with boys."

"Oh. Well, in that case," Castle said, "I think you should live wildly. Create a few memories that are too inappropriate to tell your future children."

Alexis wrinkled her nose at her father. "I think I'll leave the wild stories to- oh!" she squealed. "You got my favorite marmalade."

"Uh-huh." Castle wiggled his eyebrows at Kate. "Told you it was the best."

Kate held her hands up in a gesture of surrender. "I believe you," she said, reaching for it. "Hand it over, Alexis, Let's see if it lives up to my grandma's secret recipe."

"Your grandma makes marmalade?" Alexis asked.

"Made," Kate corrects her. "And yeah. Not so much marmalade, but all kinds of jellies and jams."

"Your mom's mom, or your dad's?" Castle asked.

"Mom's," she said. "My grandparents both passed before my mom, so…" she shrugged. "I guess that was a good thing, in hindsight."

Castle nodded, soberly, before his eyes lit up. "Do you have any of her recipes? I've never made jelly before."

* * *

><p>Beckett shook her head in amazement when Castle got back from the store. "I asked you to buy berries, Castle, not a berry farm!"<p>

He beamed. "I couldn't decide which kind to get. And they all looked so good."

"Okay." Kate raised her eyebrows at the fruit, her lips twitching. "Let's make jam then. Alexis, can you get the biggest saucepans out?" She popped a strawberry into her mouth, savoring its sweetness. "Castle- if you want the cherries, you're going to have to pit them."

"I have a cherry-pitter," he told her, his face falling. "But it's in the city."

"Here," she said, handing him a knife. "Be careful."

Alexis chuckled as she ran the strawberries under the faucet, before presenting them to Beckett. "What next?"

Kate pointed at the grocery bags on the counter. "We need sugar. Lots of it. And there should be some vanilla in there too, if your dad got everything on the list."

"I did," Castle said, slicing through a cherry and cursing as he tried to pit it. "Should have put a cherry-pitter on the list."

"Well, we mix the sugar and fruit first, and let it sit for a few hours, and we have to sterilize the jars," she instructed Alexis.

Alexis nodded, unpacking the jars from the paper bag on the counter, and Castle huffed, pushing the knife away. "We're not making cherry jelly," he announced. "We'll make strawberry jelly, and blueberry jelly, but while that fruit is soaking up the sugar, we're going to go sit out by the pool and eat the cherries."

Kate nodded, letting Castle put a cherry into her mouth when Alexis' back was turned. "Good idea."

* * *

><p>"But you're not on call," Castle protested when Kate's cell rang, and she smirked at him, snatching it up from where it lay on the ground beside the pool chair she was stretched out in.<p>

"I do know other people," she reminded him, sliding her finger along the screen to answer the phone. "Hi, Dad." Beside her, she saw Castle's eyes widen, and he leaned in toward her almost instinctively as if to listen in. She shook her head at him, standing up and stepping away from him.

"Hi, Katie," Jim said.

"What's up?" she asked easily, settling herself onto the chair at the picnic table at the other end of the pool.

"Can't a father just call up and see how his daughter is?" he laughed, and she grinned.

"Of course."

"Figured I haven't seen you much lately, Katie. Thought if you weren't on a case you might want to get dinner tonight."

"Oh. I'd love to," she said. "But I'm- out of town for the weekend."

"You are?" She could practically hear her father raising his eyebrows and she shrugged, her eyes on Castle across from her. He grinned at her, and pointed at Alexis who was in the pool, facing Kate, before cannon-balling into the water with a loud splash, and Kate giggled at the look on Alexis' face. "What was that? Where are you?"

"I'm in the Hamptons," she murmured, lowering her voice.

"Oh yeah? Did you and Lanie go for the weekend?"

Kate chuckled softly. "No. No, I'm here with…" she hesitated; when she and Josh had broken up he'd been a big advocate for the doctor, urging Kate to give the man another chance. The last thing she'd been planning to do was introduce her dad to another guy in her life unless she was absolutely certain of the relationship. But the words tumbled out before she could stop them, "I'm here with… someone."

"A man? Are you seeing someone?"

Kate bit her lip - there was nothing to do but come clean - even lying by omission felt like lying when it came to her father, and she'd kept quiet about Castle when she'd met up with her dad for coffee two weeks ago. "Yeah. I'm… seeing someone. He has a place in the Hamptons and we're swimming. His daughter is here too."

"He has a daughter?"

"Dad-" Kate groaned and she rolled her eyes at the huff on the other end of the line.

"I'm just asking," Jim protested, and she shrugged. Well, she'd made it a good thirty seconds into the conversation without her dad asking to meet Castle, so she figured that was a win.

"Uh-huh," she agreed.

"So when can I meet him?" he asked, and she groaned. Okay. Maybe she'd been overly generous in giving her father the benefit of the doubt.

"I don't know," she grumbled, and Jim laughed.

"Will you at least tell me his name?"

"Um…" she hedged. "Put it this way. You've heard me talk about him before."

"Not Esposito?" he teased.

"Dad! No! Besides you know Espo doesn't have a daughter, or a place in the Hamptons. And just for that, I'm not telling you."

Jim chuckled. "Okay, Katie. Dinner next week. I'll get it out of you then- or you can just bring him round."

"Bye, Dad," she replied, hanging up with a wry smile.

"Your dad?" Castle called from the pool, and she nodded, putting her cell onto the picnic table and slipping into the pool.

"Yeah."

Castle swam over to her, a grin on his face. "So when do I get to meet him?"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thanks Kylie for the beta... I added in some other stuff (again!) so... surprise? LOL. And readers? Mwah! I thank you for the reading and the reviewing. x  
><strong>


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter Twenty-Four**

The drive back from the Hamptons seemed to take twice as long as it had to get out there on Friday night. It seemed like the whole city was making its way home after the long weekend away and Kate leaned her head back against the headrest, staring out the window. In spite of the weekend break the tension from Friday was seeping back into her bones, and she was already weary just thinking about the discussions she would need to have tomorrow. If Esposito and Ryan hadn't found anything she would still need to deal with Esposito's frustration. And if they had found something, well, that would be worse.

In the backseat, Alexis messed with the iPod, switching songs so often that Kate was tempted to snatch the device from the girl. Apparently sensing her frustration, Castle cast his glance into the rear view mirror, throwing her a sharp look. "Enough."

Alexis put the iPod down and Kate suppressed a grin; Alexis may have been a young adult, but seeing Castle slide so easily into his role as a father was oddly… comforting. Reassuring. Sexy. She sighed, pulling her cell phone from her purse to check for messages again, and Castle laughed softly. "No bodies?" he asked.

"I'm not on call," she reminded him. "So… no. But I asked Ryan and Espo to run some stuff for me while I was away- they were both in today."

"Poor guys," Castle commented, and she nodded.

"Uh-huh. But I needed them to do a little digging on the down-low so I'm glad they had to go in. Less prying eyes around the precinct on a holiday."

"What kind of thing were they looking for?" Castle asked, and Kate turned around to shoot a look at Alexis. But the girl had put her ear buds in and was listening to her own music with her eyes closed.

"Remember at the mayor's benefit?" she asked. "We noticed Captain Montgomery talking to Senator Bracken?"

"Talking!" snorted Castle. "Arguing. Disagreeing. Engaging in a stand-off. But, sure. I remember."

Kate nodded, lowering her voice. "I asked Montgomery about it, but he denied knowing the Senator. I just-" She bit her lip, not sure how much more to say. "I've asked the boys to have a discreet look around. Not that I'm expecting to find anything," she added hastily; admitting to her boyfriend that she was engaged in an off the books investigation into a United States Senator was bad enough. No, she needed to temper this, play it down.

"Is that what that discussion was all about when I got there on Friday?" he asked.

"Uh-huh." She bit her lip. "Esposito wasn't impressed with the idea." She shrugged unhappily, shifting in her seat. "I wasn't either."

"How long have you known Captain Montgomery?" Castle asked, evidently straining to keep his voice neutral.

"My whole career," Beckett told him. "I trust him completely. Except-"

"Except?" Castle urged.

"Except he's been… different, the last six months. Distant. Stressed," she said, shaking her head. "It's probably nothing, though."

"Huh."

"What?" she asked, irritated. Was he second guessing her?

"If you had a witness in the box, and she said 'it's probably nothing', what would your finely honed detective instincts tell you?"

Kate closed her eyes, running a tired hand across her forehead. "It would tell me that there's probably something," she admitted quietly.

* * *

><p>"Beckett." Ryan put his cell phone down and beckoned her from across the bullpen, tilting his head to indicate for her to follow him into the break room.<p>

"Hey, Ryan," she greeted him, and he nodded, turning to the coffee machine.

"Where's your shadow?" he asked.

"He had stuff to do with Alexis today." She smirked. "That's what he said, anyway, when I told him I'd be doing paperwork if we didn't catch a case."

Esposito strode into the room, closing the door behind him before slamming a manila folder down on the table in the middle of the room. "Well," he said, nodding his thanks at Ryan who handed him a coffee. "While you two were doing paperwork this morning. I was over at the fifty-fourth, keeping a low profile."

Beckett looked over her shoulder but the bullpen was deserted. "Yeah? What did you find?" She lowered her voice in spite of the quiet. "More on Bracken?"

Esposito shook his head. "No. Bracken's clean. Or- almost. I'll get to that. No, so first, I pulled a few strings and grabbed a few old records. On Montgomery." He was quiet for a second, letting the gravity of his tone sink in, and Kate set her coffee cup onto the table, a hollow feeling in her gut.

"You- didn't find anything? Did you?" The last part of the sentence came out almost a whisper, and she bit down on her lip, suddenly unable to stomach whatever Esposito had to say.

"I don't know, Kate. I found… something. I just don't know what it means."

Ryan opened the folder, and Kate forced herself to look at the files, thumbing through them as Esposito spoke, painfully aware of the distaste in his voice.

"I checked his record on the force, first. Exemplary, like we know. And then I took a look at his life before the force- did you know Montgomery grew up in a poor family, six kids?"

Ryan shrugged. "So?"

"So, a couple of years out of the academy he was able to buy a nice three bedroom house in a nice neighborhood. I mean, a _really_ nice house. Not the kind of house that someone on an officer's salary should be able to pay for. And, like I said, his family didn't exactly come from money."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that when I went to look at his financials I found that things were pretty tight for Montgomery's first six months on the force, but by the end of 1988 he was sitting sweet. Money was coming into his bank account on a semi-regular basis, different amounts, every time. These payments continued up until October of 1992, when they stopped. By that time, he'd paid a significant chunk off his mortgage and had a large sum sitting in a savings account- which, by November of 1992, was gone."

"A lump sum payment on his mortgage?" Kate asked.

"Nope. It was wired to an account that doesn't exist any more."

"So who owned _that_ account?" Ryan wondered.

"And what happened to stop the money coming in?" Beckett asked. "Where did it come from in the first place?"

Esposito shook his head. "I don't know. It's gonna take a hell of a lot more digging. But I gotta say, Beckett, your hunch was right. Nothing about this sits okay with me."

"And Bracken?" Kate asked. "You said you'd get to him?"

Esposito shrugged. "I can't find a solid link. I don't have anything that'll stick- I don't know where Montgomery's money went. And I don't know where Bracken's money came from. But around November 1992, after the money left the Cap's account, Bracken was suddenly able to fund his first major political campaign."

* * *

><p>Kate walked away from the precinct, shell-shocked. Her whole career had been built around recommendations from Roy Montgomery; every step she'd taken had been with his backing. He'd been the one to force her to hone her instincts, and he'd been the one to guide her into homicide after her stint in vice, stepping on a few toes in order to secure her onto his team.<p>

They didn't have the full story yet, far from it. But it was looking more and more likely that the money Roy had acquired and then lost back in the late eighties and early nineties was dirty money; more and more likely that at some point in his past, Captain Montgomery had been a dirty cop.

Unconsciously she pulled her cell phone from her pocket, dialing almost blindly, tears stinging her eyes. There was only one person she needed to speak to right now.

"Hi, Kate," he said, his voice liquid and warm and she smiled in spite of herself.

"Hey, Castle. What are you doing?"

"Uh-" he hesitated and she realized he was speaking very quietly. "I'm playing laser tag," he whispered.

"What?" she laughed, but it came out more as a hiccup, and she wiped angrily at her eyes.

"Laser tag," he repeated.

"With Alexis?"

"Uh-huh."

"Huh." Kate nodded. "Where do you go to play laser tag?"

"Where do I- hold on-" She heard sound effects and crashing in the background, a shout- "_Got you_!"- and a peal of laughter from Alexis. "Sorry," he apologized. "She got me."

"My fault for calling you," Beckett admitted.

"My fault for answering," he corrected. "It's our last game before she goes to Costa Rica tomorrow. And at home. We play at home."

"You play laser tag at _home_?"

"Yeah. We've been playing since Alexis was five. I've got all the gear."

"Impressive."

"So have we got a body?" he asked.

"What?"

"Isn't that why you're calling? A body?"

"Oh. Right. No- I just-" she stopped again, dead in her tracks on the busy downtown street. "I just needed some air. I stepped out for a minute."

"You okay?" he asked.

"Fine," she lied.

"I'm coming to see you," he told her. "Where are you?"

"No," she protested. "Stay and play laser tag with Alexis. I'm fine."

"We're done," he told her. "Alexis is going back to the dorms now anyway. I'm coming to meet you."

* * *

><p>Kate sat in a booth at the back of the diner, her hands wrapped around a steaming mug of coffee; she'd almost ordered decaf in an attempt to calm her nerves before rolling her eyes and ordering a regular coffee. The heat coming off the cup was almost uncomfortable on the sunny May day, but there was something comforting about it in spite of the overwhelming warmth.<p>

She smiled when she saw Castle walk through the door into the diner, and he slid into the booth beside her, pressing his lips against her cheek and resting his hand on her thigh.

"You okay?" he asked, and she shook her head, unwilling to answer him while the waitress hovered.

"What can I get for you?" their waitress asked them, and Kate shook her head.

"Just coffee is fine," she said.

Castle frowned. "Coffee for me, too, please. And two muffins."

"Are you hungry?" Kate joked, but Castle shook his head, tightening his grip on her leg.

"You're shaking," he pointed out, and Kate let go of her cup, holding her hand out and staring in amazement as it shook unsteadily.

"Oh," she said. "I didn't realize."

"So you need the sugar," he said, releasing his grip on her leg when the waitress returned with two muffins, a little dish of butter beside each one. He halved both of them, deftly spreading the butter and handing her a piece. "Eat," he said. "Too bad we don't have any of our strawberry jelly here."

She grinned, biting into the muffin. "Yeah. Too bad. I can just see that now, you coming into the diner, ordering a muffin and bringing out your own jelly."

He smiled back, apparently satisfied that she was eating, and took a sip of his own coffee. "Want to tell me what's going on?"

Kate put the muffin down, leaning her head into her hands and pushing her fingers through her hair angrily. "They found something. On Montgomery. My... mentor. He's dirty and he's connected to Senator Bracken."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I didn't get to thank many reviewers this time... where in the heck did those last three days go?! I'd say I want 'em back but since we were Castle-less all those days, I don't. Anyway... thank you guys. And as always, my beta-duties were assigned to Kylie- thank you! x**


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: This chapter is rated a little bit M. If you****'re on a crowded train right now (the way I would be if I was reading fic), maybe you wanna wait. IDK. Your call. Regular T rating will return next chapter.**

**Chapter Twenty-Five**

"Where's Espo?" Beckett asked when she got back to the precinct, and Ryan shook his head.

"He took the rest of the day," Ryan said. "Meanwhile, I've done a little more digging…"

Kate shook her head slightly. This was spinning out of control.

"I can't place the money, and I can't trace the accounts. But I have a theory."

Kate nodded, forcing herself to listen.

"The amount spent on Bracken's campaign was three times what left Montgomery's account, right?"

"Right," she agreed, catching on.

"So I think…"

"There are two more players," Beckett said, meeting Ryan's uncertain eyes. "Okay. Makes sense. So who was Montgomery hanging out with back then? And what did Bracken have on them?" She shook her head, exhaling loudly. "Let's sleep on this, okay? I can't think about this any more today."

Ryan nodded. "Okay, Beckett. We'll leave it for now."

* * *

><p>"She just… left…" Castle said, and she could hear the consternation in his voice as she pressed the cell between her ear and her shoulder. "They called her flight, and she picked up her bag, gave me a hug, and she just… left."<p>

Kate suppressed a grin. "Oh, Castle. She'll be back. Six weeks, remember, not six months."

"I guess," he said mournfully, and she rolled her eyes.

"It's not like when I went to Kiev," she said. "She'll email. Call. Skype. Message."

"You didn't do those things? When you went to Kiev? You didn't call your dad?"

"I went in 2001," she reminded him. "That was more than ten years ago. Nobody traveled with cell phones then, and wifi wasn't a thing. I emailed my dad, once a week. And sometimes he even replied." She shut her eyes, the remnants of hurt from the time biting at her heart with a sudden fierceness that took her breath away. "You guys are different," she said. "Close. She'll call."

"Are you close to your dad these days?" Castle asked.

"Mmm," she said, setting her phone onto the coffee table and putting it on speaker, reaching for the red nail polish beside her and uncapping it. "Yeah. We- I haven't told you much about him, have I?" This was better over the phone, somehow. Easier to ensure that she didn't get too caught up in the past. She brushed the polish over her toe nails. "My dad… he took mom's death hard. He drank a lot. I didn't want to stay at Stanford after it happened, but I didn't exactly want to come home, either. He was drinking, and after I took the semester off it seemed like transferring to NYU and keeping an eye on him was my only choice."

"But you went to Kiev anyway?"

"I went to Kiev _because_ of him," she admitted. "Nothing I did here was enough. I couldn't stop him from drinking, and I couldn't stop him from selling our family home and moving upstate to our cabin for a year before he found a smaller place here in the city."

"Oh, Kate," he sighed unhappily.

"It's okay, Castle," she assured him. "It was a long time ago. My dad and I worked it through. When I joined the academy, I think he realized it could be a turning point for him too. He's been sober for ten years now."

"Remind me not to serve alcohol when we have him over for dinner," Castle mumbled, and Kate grinned in spite of herself.

"You're still planning on meeting my father?"

"Well, you've met my mother. And my daughter," he pointed out.

"Because of a case," she reminded him.

"Yeah," he mused. "That was the worst experience of my life. But then- I met you. Just goes to show that sometimes there can be something amazing, even in the most horrific of grief."

"Every day has the possibility of joy," she murmured back, screwing the lid back onto her nail polish and admiring her toes before taking the phone off speaker and bringing it back to her ear.

"I wish you were here," he said suddenly.

"I… do too," she admitted. Well. That was new, wasn't it? Kate's brow furrowed as she considered. She'd dated Josh for almost two years and she couldn't remember ever being on the phone with him and wishing she was with him in person. Then again, she'd never spent much time on the phone with him just talking, either; their relationship had been a neat formula of weekly dates and hookups, and when he'd suggested taking things further, she'd fled, unwilling to consider moving in with a man she realized she barely knew. "Huh?" she asked, realizing Castle was speaking again.

"Do you want to come over?" he asked again.

"Oh. Uh…" She pretended to think for a moment but she was already standing and walking into her bedroom. "What would we do if I came over?" she asked, her voice low.

"We could… uh, read. Watch TV."

"I was reading before you called."

"Well, uh… we could take a bath. I saw you staring at my bath last week," he told her.

She grinned. Yeah. He'd totally caught her looking lustfully at the tub in a moment of _want_ that had had nothing to do with the hour they'd just spent in bed. "What would we do in the bath?" she asked, a dare in her voice. She reached into her dresser and started throwing some clothes into the overnight bag she'd just placed on the bed.

"I would, uh, run the water for you- with bubbles. Lots of bubbles. And I would undress you- so slowly," he breathed. "I'd unbutton your shirt… let it fall to the floor, and I'd lean in, kiss your neck, while I unbuckled your pants."

Kate nodded, one hand falling to the waistband of her jeans, slipping underneath her shirt and resting on the soft skin of her stomach while he spoke.

"I'd unbutton your jeans," he continued. "You'd be moving against me, but I'd push you back against the wall, hold you there, while I slid your pants off.

Kate leaned against her own bathroom door, closing her eyes and leaning her head back. "And then what?"

"You'd be standing there before me, in your panties and your bra, and I'd look at you, knowing that beneath your panties you were already wet for me."

"Mmm…"

"I'd take my own clothes off, and I'd step toward you again, running my hands along your sides and over your waist… and I'd feel you melt into me. I'd let my hand slip a little lower, until it was running under the edge of your panties."

Kate let her own hand dip down beneath her jeans, edging below the scrap of lace and silk.

"I'd reach down a little lower, bring my fingers to you… and I'd find my way inside you, curling my fingers against your walls, tight, so you had just the pressure you needed, against your clit."

Kate moaned quietly, dipping her hand lower and running her index finger along her folds before shifting her stance a little, moving her legs a little wider apart.

"I'd move, back and forth inside you with with my hand, in and out. I'd run my other hand through your hair, and my mouth would be at your neck. I'd take my hand from your hair, let it dip a little lower, and I'd keep touching you as I ran a fingertip along your nipple… it would harden at my touch, and then you'd move your hips, just a little quicker, until you came around me."

Kate felt her legs crumple beneath her and she slid down the door, whimpering loudly as she shattered around her own fingers. On the other end of the phone she could hear Castle panting heavily himself as she struggled to get her breathing under control.

"Hey, Castle?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm on my way over, okay?" She ended the call, blinking as she stood, steadying herself against the door frame for a second before grabbing her overnight bag and her keys. Wow.

* * *

><p>"So- you have no idea who the other players are?" Castle asked when they were lying in bed wrapped around one another.<p>

"No." Kate groaned. "I'm really stumped. I have no idea who Montgomery's buddies were when he started on the force."

"Where do cops go to hang out?" he asked. "Any of the old bars still around?"

Kate shrugged. "I guess so?"

"Field trip?" Castle asked, and Kate shook her head, unwilling to get out of bed.

"At ten o'clock at night? Really?" She pulled the covers up over them both, but Castle sat up, throwing them back off again, nodding, his eyes wide and eager.

"Why not? And look if anyone asks why we're there we can say it's research for my book."

"Ah. Yes. Nikki Heat." Kate rolled her eyes, and Castle smirked at her. "Alright," she agreed. "But you're buying."

"Which bar do you want to hit first?" he asked.

Kate pressed her lips together, casting her mind back to Montgomery's comments about real cop bars a few months ago. "I think we'll start at an old place on Fulton."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thanks for the beta, Kylie! Mwah!  
><strong>


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter Twenty-Six**

"I don't think you really needed to wear a trench coat," Beckett told Castle after he paid the cab driver. "Plus, it's the beginning of June. Don't you think it's overkill?"

Castle shrugged, pulling at the collar of the coat. "I am a little warm," he admitted, and Kate shook her head.

"Do you go undercover very often?" he asked once they were seated inside in a booth, and he'd taken the coat off, breathing a sigh of relief as he draped it across the seat.

Beckett looked at him sharply. "We're not exactly undercover," she told him, waving to a man across the room. "I know…" she glanced around, assessing. "I know about half the people in here by sight, and see, over there?" She pointed to a middle aged man talking to the bartender. "That's Novak- Desk Sergeant at the Twelfth."

"Oh," he said, chastened. "Well- what do you want to drink? Wine?"

"Beer," she nodded. "It's a beer kinda place, Castle."

"Right." He nodded. "Well- I'll go get us some drinks."

He stood, but she stood as well. "I'd better come to the bar too, see what we can find out," she reminded him, and he nodded, gesturing for her to go ahead.

"Two beers, please," Castle requested, when they approached the bar, holding up two fingers, and the man behind the counter nodded, reaching for two glasses, and pulling the beers, one at a time. Beckett took the opportunity to look as closely as she could at the wall of photographs behind the bar.

"You've been here a while, huh?" she asked, nodding at the pictures.

"Yeah," he agreed, pushing the first beer toward her and pulling the second. "Owned this place for more than ten years, and drank here for more than ten years before that."

"Guess you've seen a lot of cops come and go through the place, huh?" she asked, keeping her voice level and friendly, and he nodded.

"Haven't seen you in here before, though," he said and she smiled, offering her hand.

"Beckett. Homicide. Over at the Twelfth. I haven't been in here since I was a rookie with my T.O."

"Yanavich," the man introduced himself, and placed the second glass on the counter. "Twelfth, huh. You work with- who's the name of the captain over in homicide over there, again? Montgomery, right?"

"Yeah," she said. "Exactly. Actually, Montgomery mentioned this place a while back, thought I should check it out again." She nodded at Castle, who took his wallet out, handing a couple of bills to Yanavich. "Guess he spent a lot of time here back in the day?" she asked, and Yanavich nodded, opening the cash register and putting the money into it before turning to the photographs on the wall and reaching for one, unpinning it and handing it to her.

"Sure did," he said. "When he was a rookie, he came in here all the time, with Raglan and McCallister." He shrugged, almost sadly, oblivious to the shock Kate was sure was apparent on her face as she looked at the photograph. "I dunno what they taught him, but he made Captain, so I guess he turned out an alright cop. You can keep that," he said, tapping the picture, and Kate nodded, walking mutely back to their booth, Castle hot on her heels.

"What is it?" he asked. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Kind of," she said, offering a thin smile and sitting down heavily. She took the beer Castle pushed toward her, sipping it before explaining. "Raglan," she said at last, pointing at one of the men in the photograph. "He was the lead on my mom's case."

* * *

><p>"You think there's a connection between Raglan, McCallister and Montgomery?" Ryan asked, looking at the photograph that Beckett handed him. "And you couldn't tell us this at the precinct today?"<p>

"Well, it sure looks like a connection," Beckett pointed out. "And no, except for a little bit of re-con this morning, I figured it was better to do this at my place than talk about it at work right now. Ryan shrugged, conceding her point.

"Where are they now?" Esposito asked.

"Raglan's dead," Beckett said. "I looked him up this morning at the precinct. Cancer. He died about a year ago, taking his secrets to the grave with him."

"His secrets? You don't think you're being a bit, oh, I don't know, overly dramatic, now that you've got an author following you around?" Esposito nodded in Castle's direction. "No offense, man."

"None taken," Castle replied, taking four beers from the fridge and putting them on Beckett's kitchen table, then shuffling around in a drawer for a bottle opener.

"What does your mom's case have to do with this?" Ryan asked, and Beckett shook her head, accepting the now open beer that Castle pressed into her hand.

"Nothing. As far as I know. But why didn't Montgomery tell me he knew Raglan? I mean, back when I was first investigating my Mom's case I was pretty open about it with the Captain, and he knew that I thought the cops who'd looked into it were hiding something. So why didn't he ever mention that he knew Raglan? You would think if they were friends he might have defended him or something, if he thought Raglan was a good cop."

"Alright. Well, let's look through the files, see what we can find. If the three of them worked together, maybe we can figure out what cases they worked on back in the early nineties," Castle suggested.

"Right." Esposito lay a stack of files on the kitchen table. "Like you asked, Beckett, I went through the archives this morning, checked out a handful of files. I can't find Montgomery's name on any of them, but there were three cases that Raglan and McCallister worked together in the second half of 1992, so if something happened then, it might be in one of them."

"What about their bank accounts?" Beckett asked, and Ryan shook his head.

"Didn't get a chance to look, today, but I'll check tomorrow and see if they had any payments like Montgomery did." He shrugged. "So what were the three cases you pulled, Javi?"

Esposito picked the files up again, scanning through them. "Jaclyn Torres, an eighteen year old prostitute who was killed while working the streets one night, in July. Suzanne Smith, a forty year old factory worker, strangled in September by her husband. And Bob Armen, an FBI agent. He was working undercover in the mob and he was murdered in early October."

"Bob Armen?"

"Yeah. That name mean anything to you, Beckett?"

She shook her head. "I don't know. I feel like I've heard it before. Tell me more about that one."

Esposito nodded, opening the file and reading. "Shot in an alley on the lower west side. He was an undercover FBI agent and he was killed by… Joe Pulgatti. Open and shut case."

"Bob Armen. Joe Pulgatti. I know who they are," Beckett said, looking up at the three guys in her kitchen, and feeling the blood drain from her face as the horror of the situation came clear to her. "It must be a co-incidence," she said. "It _has _to be," she whispered again, and beside her Castle inched closer, his hand warm on her thigh.

"What is it, Kate? Who are they?"

"They were involved when Bob Armen died? Part of the crew that put Pulgatti away?"

Esposito nodded. "Them and… some guy called Napolitano."

"Can I look at that?" Castle asked, taking the file from Esposito's hands and peering at the paper intently for a minute before jerking his head up. "This has been altered. I don't think the third cop who worked this case was this Napolitano guy."

Kate stared at him, her mouth falling open as everything clicked into place. Altered files. Dirty cops. That had to be it. Her mom had investigated. And her death had been written off as random gang violence. "No," she protested. "His name isn't on any of the files. This has to be wrong. We have to be wrong." They had to be wrong, she thought, because she couldn't live like this, couldn't believe Roy could betray her like this.

"What's going on? I don't understand," Ryan asked, and Kate shook her head.

"The Pulgatti case. I know the name because that's the last case my mom worked on before she died."

* * *

><p>Kate watched blindly as Castle shuffled Esposito and Ryan out of her apartment, unable to meet their eyes as they called out their goodbyes, raw horror in their voices.<p>

"It was random gang violence," she said at last, when they'd gone and Castle had led her over to her sofa. "It has to have been."

"But you've never believed that, have you?" he asked, and she shook her head dumbly.

"Montgomery made me stop," she said. "Before I was a detective. He saw how the case was pulling me down, he made me step back. Made me see a therapist before he'd let me sit my detective's test. I did everything he asked. Everything. I trusted him. I put it aside." She turned to Castle, looking at him properly for the first time since she'd realized the connection between Montgomery and her mom's case. "I had the files here, you know? For _years_ I had the files in a box under my bed. I'd go through them whenever I had the chance, until I realized I had to stop."

"Where are the files now?" Castle asked, pulling her in to him and running a comforting hand across her back.

"Um." Kate blinked, realizing she was crying. "In a storage unit. I had to get them out of the apartment." She laughed bitterly. "Kind of like the way my dad had to rid his place of the alcohol."

"Kate?"

"Yeah?"

Castle ran gentle fingers across her cheek, wiping away the tears that had made their way down her cheek. "Do you want to sleep?"

Beckett shook her head, taking a deep breath and sitting up straight. "No. I want to go to that storage unit and find my mom's case and solve it."

Castle leaned in, pressing his mouth to hers, and she tasted the salt from her own tears upon his lips. He pulled back, and looked at her, nodding. "Okay. Then we go to the storage unit."

* * *

><p>"Whose stuff is this?" Castle asked, and Kate shook her head.<p>

"My dad's." She looked at him. "Whose else would it be?"

"I don't know. It's just… it's fascinating, seeing all this. Your life, in boxes." He blew dust off one, opening its lid and pulling out its contents.

Kate scowled, pushing his hands away from the photo albums he had found. "It's not meant to be fascinating," she said. "And it's not mine. The only thing here of mine is the file, and my dad doesn't even know that it's here. Everything else is his. He wasn't ready to have them in his new place when he moved."

"Is he doing okay, now?"

"Yeah. He's okay." She smiled softly. Maybe she should remind her dad that these were here, in case he wanted them. "Ah." She pulled the box with her mom's file out of its spot, handing it to Castle.

* * *

><p>"Can- are you sure you want me to look at this?" he asked, apparently hesitant all of a sudden, and she nodded, biting her lip. She didn't <em>want<em> to look at any of this, but it seemed like any choice she had in the matter had been swept away in the rush of instincts and leads, and spiraling truths that were coming home to haunt her.

"There's nothing here," Kate said dully, trying to ignore the ache in her chest. This was like fighting ghosts; the objective shifted every time she turned. "Nothing." She threw the file down onto the sofa, frustrated.

"Okay. Well- Kate, how many times have you looked at this?"

Kate met his eyes, shrugging. "I have no idea, Castle. Hundreds of times."

"I figured," he said gently, taking her hand and entwining his fingers with hers. "It's late. Let's go to bed. Get some sleep. We can look at this again in the morning."

"But-"

"It's waited for years, Kate. Come on. It can wait another day. In the morning I can call a guy, get him to take a look."

Kate let him pull her up from the sofa and lead her through to the bedroom. "Guy?" she asked. "What guy?"

"Uh- a medical examiner. Someone who helped me with research for a couple of my books, a few years ago."

"Castle?"

"Mmm?" he asked, stepping forward and unbuttoning her shirt slowly; the reckless abandon of the night before nothing but a memory. He slid the shirt off her deliberately, carefully, his hands brushing her shoulders, and pressing a chaste kiss against her lips. He unbuttoned her jeans before sliding the zipper down, sitting her on the bed and pulling her pants off. "Come on. Sleep."

She took her sleep shirt from his outstretched hand, watching as he pulled his own t-shirt over his head and took his jeans off, until he was standing there in front of her in his boxers.

"Why are you doing this?" she asked. "Helping me?"

"Beckett. You threw everything you had into getting my daughter back. Don't tell me that was the job. That was _you_. Your heart." He pressed his hand to her chest, the smooth skin between her breasts, and her breathing quickened. "How can you ask why I'm doing this?"

"You got your daughter back. Not me," she pointed out. "You went to Paris. I stayed here, couldn't do a thing."

"And I won't solve _this_. You will. But I'll be there every step of the way."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: You guys who review make me stupidly happy. Thank you! And thanks for the beta, K! x **


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter Twenty-Seven**

"Coffee for everyone," Castle said, handing a mug to each of the boys before pressing a cup into Beckett's hand, letting his fingers curl against hers for a moment.

"Thanks for coming so early," Beckett said, nodding in appreciation at the boys. "We gave the files to Castle's guy a few days ago, and he called last night to say he had something."

"Are you sure there's a link?" Esposito asked again, and Beckett ran her hand through her hair, frustrated.

"I'm not sure of _anything_, Espo. But it seems like a pretty big coincidence that we would go down this path and come across this if it didn't mean anything."

"Whole thing is a series of coincidences," Ryan said, standing up again and pacing in Castle's office, where the four of them were gathered around his desk, papers spread out.

"We need a timeline," Beckett declared. "I can't work without a white board."

"We can make one," Castle told her. "We can use one of my writing programs."

Kate sighed, shaking her head. "I like it to be tangible," she said, and he shrugged.

"We can stick it up on the wall?" he suggested.

"You really sleep there?" Ryan asked, changing the subject, and pointing at the bedroom behind the open bookshelves, and Beckett glared at him.

"Bro!" Esposito admonished, and Ryan had the good grace to look chastened, but Castle appeared unperturbed.

"Alexis and Mother sleep upstairs," he said. "I get more privacy down here than I did when I used one of the upstairs bedrooms." Beckett blushed, gesturing back at the documents on the desk.

"When's your guy going to get here?" she asked.

"Soon." Castle looked at his watch. "He should be here in a few minutes."

"And he really found something?" Esposito asked.

"That's what he said on the phone," Castle said. "Didn't want to tell me what, though, until he saw me in person."

Four heads turned toward the door when the buzzer sounded, and Castle nodded at them, striding over to answer it while Beckett and the boys waited in the office, peering through the open shelving as he ushered the man inside.

"Thanks for coming so early in the morning," Castle said, shaking the man's hand, and introducing Dr. Murray. "Take a seat," he told him, and the doctor nodded.

"Okay. I'll get straight to the point," he said, opening the file he had with him. "The original ME concluded that the stab wounds were random. Now maybe the killer got lucky, but you see this wound here?"

"Yeah." Kate bit her lip. She may have looked at these pictures a hundred times, but hearing someone else, an expert, approach it with a calculated and professional detachment was brand new.

"It's a low-angle thrust to the kidney. The wound size indicated that the knife was twisted. Her body would have gone into immediate shock."

"And what about these?" she asked.

"Well, their angles indicate that they were delivered after she was immobilized and on the ground. They're just for show. This is the one that killed her."

"This is sounding less like a random killing, more like a targeted murder," Castle said, and Kate found herself nodding along. If she'd ever wondered what an out of body experience felt like, this was it; she felt like she was floating and she gripped the desk, hard, trying to stay focused, trying to keep her eyes open, but her vision was fading, blackness coloring her peripheral vision. "Hey." She heard Castle's voice, loud and concerned, but as if from a distance. "Kate? You okay?"

His hands caught her wrist, and she managed to turn her head to look at him.

"You're okay," he told her, shifting onto the floor so he was kneeling, his hands around her waist, creating a barrier between herself and the information Dr. Murray had for them.

"Shall I continue?" Dr. Murray asked, and she nodded.

"Go ahead," she managed, her own hands tight on Castle's shoulders as she pushed him away. Later. She could have her panic attack later, could collapse after the boys left.

"Okay. There's more. On a hunch, I checked the city ME files to see if this was an isolated incident and I found three other stabbings around the same time, all of which the ME working the case dismissed as... random."

"But they were related?" Ryan asked, speaking for the first time since the doctor had arrived.

"They were," Dr. Murray agreed. "And there's more. There were the four in 1999, and then another. Much later. In 2010, Dick Coonan killed his brother, Jack Coonan, using the same method." He turned to Kate who found herself nodding alone with him. "Detective Beckett, you're the person who put Coonan behind bars."

* * *

><p>Kate stood in the shower, letting the hot needles of water tattoo across her back as she leaned forward, her arms planted against the still cool tiles. The tears weren't coming anymore; anger was setting in, a red cloud rolling over the hurt of betrayal. She slammed the faucet off, wincing as the pipes groaned, and reaching for her towel from its hook, she wrapped herself in the fabric and pushed damp strands of hair out of her eyes.<p>

She swiped a hand across the mirror, wiping away the steam and inspecting her distorted reflection; big, hazel eyes stared back at her, angry and red-rimmed, and she scowled.

"We're going to have to talk to McCallister," Kate said when she marched back into the bedroom, grabbing her dress pants and stepping into them before pulling her shirt over her head. "I'm going to have to talk to Montgomery. God. And my dad. I have to tell my dad."

"Slow down," Castle urged and Kate shook her head.

"I think we've been slow for long enough," she said. "I thought we were looking into Senator Bracken and I had no idea what we would find. But now, if my mom's case links back to a murder in 1992- this goes so much deeper."

"We still don't even really know Bracken's role in all this," Castle pointed out. "Or Montgomery's."

Kate raised her eyebrows. "We're going to find out."

* * *

><p>"Captain? A word?"<p>

"I- uh-" Roy Montgomery looked at his watch. "I don't have time, Beckett."

"Make time," she said quietly, stepping across the threshold of his office and closing the door behind her with a gentle click. She glanced back out to the bullpen; the boys were at their desks, Castle in the chair next to hers. None of them were looking at her, all apparently engaged in whatever it was they were doing. Good. She knew closer examination would reveal that Rick was nervously making a paper-clip chain, and that Espo and Ryan were blindly clicking across news sites, unfocused and waiting.

"What is it, Beckett?" the Captain asked.

She took the remaining steps across the office, one foot in front of the other, before seating herself in the chair opposite her boss. Opposite her mentor. Opposite her friend. Kate inhaled deeply, looking around the office. Signs, everywhere, of a life well lived, a job well served. Awards lined the shelves, and photographs of Evelyn and their children marked time on his desk.

Beckett drew her gaze away from the personal touches on the Captain's desk, meeting the man's eyes for the first time since she'd stepped into the office. Worried brown eyes met hazel and she pressed her lips together before speaking. "Sir. I need you to tell me. What's the connection between yourself and Senator-"

"There is no connection," he interrupted, and she shook her head, continuing.

"-Senator Bracken? And my mother?"

Beckett heard the dull thud of the pen in his hand as he dropped it and it rolled across the papers on his desk. She watched as the color drained from Montgomery's face, holding her breath as silence fell between them. "Beckett," he choked out. "I'm so sorry."

"What did you _do_?" she asked, and he stared at her for a moment before speaking.

"I felt the hand of God upon me, when I came across you that day in the archives," Montgomery said. "I thought I had a second chance. I spent my whole career trying to atone, trying to throw it all into the job. Trying to be the best cop I could be. For your mom. For Diane Cavanaugh. Scott Murray. Jennifer Stewart. And for Bob Armen. All of them. And when I met you, and realized what you were doing- do you realize, Beckett? Just how close you came?" He swallowed. "I saw it consume you. You could have solved it, but you were too involved, too close. It hurt you too much, and I watched as it threatened to pull you under." He looked at her helplessly.

"How could you just watch me fall apart?"

"I had to," he said. "It was too dangerous. I couldn't step in. All I could do was send you for mandatory counseling, hope you'd give it up. Throw your passion into the job. And you did. I've been so proud of you, Kate. Your mom would be proud of you. All these years- you've never wavered from your fight for justice." He shrugged. "But I have. I knew, the day that Bracken walked into this precinct in February, that my sins were coming home to roost.

"I would have let him die. I wished you had. I wished, that day, that you were… less of a cop. I wished you'd missed whatever instinct it was that alerted you, let you know that the guy we had in holding wasn't our killer. The whole thing would have been over."

Kate nodded slowly, releasing a sigh. "I know." She bit her lip. "That guy. McManus. He was convinced Bracken killed his son. Do you think he did?"

Montgomery shook his head, his tone weary when he spoke. "Beckett, I don't know."

He was silent for a minute, and Beckett watched him as he slumped in his chair, apparently defeated.

"Where do you want to go with this, Kate? How far are you willing to go to get justice?" he asked at last.

Beckett shrugged. Unbidden, Royce's face popped into her mind. _"We'll solve this,"_ she remembered him saying, so many years ago. But Royce was gone, and she had someone else on her side now, someone stronger. Castle. "As far as I need to go," she said, and Montgomery nodded at her, his eyes sad.

"We can't come at him directly, Beckett," he told her. "I struck a tenuous deal with him years ago. If you want to do this, we need to find a way to play it safe."

"Because you bargained with my _life_, didn't you?" she demanded, anger flaring. "You made me back off my mom's case because you made a deal-"

"Years ago, yes. And I don't regret it," he told her, leaning back in his chair heavily. "Not for a second. You're alive. That's all that matters. But I can make some investigations," he said. "Quietly. Who knows about this?"

"Ryan and Esposito. Castle. The ME who looked at the files."

"There are no victories, Kate," he said, staring at her unhappily from across the desk. "There's only the battle. And the best that you can hope for is that you find someplace where you can make your stand. If this is your spot? I will stand with you." He nodded. "Keep it in the family. I'll handle this. Give me some time."

He tipped his head at Beckett, and she stood up, dismissed.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thanks Kylie for the beta... I snuck in a bit extra here so if I messed up, it's on me. I got so confused with who I thanked and didn't thank for reviewing last chapter, so a blanket thank you to all of you for your awesome whether I got to you individually or not... I went over 1k reviews and that BLOWS MY MIND... I appreciate your kind words like whoa! **


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter Twenty-Eight**

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Kate asked, lifting her hand to knock on the door, and Castle nodded, enthusiasm gleaming in his eyes.

"Uh-huh." He bounced up and down on the balls of his feet again, and she swallowed. If Castle wasn't nervous what did she have to be worried about?

"Remember, not a word," she reminded him. She would have to tell her dad everything she'd learned about her mom's case, but not tonight.

An uneasy truce had been brokered, and Beckett had taken care, during the last month, to avoid being alone with the Captain. Avoiding him, however, wasn't difficult. His time in the precinct had been at a bare minimum, and Beckett wondered exactly what he was doing away from his office so often. He hadn't been meeting her eyes as he swept in and out of the bullpen, and he'd approached Esposito and Ryan when he needed updates on their cases.

"We'll solve this," Castle assured Beckett as each week passed, and she shrugged each time. He didn't know that; to her, the investigation felt more and more like a black hole that was going to suck her in when she least expected it, and the steady beat of fear in her veins told her she wasn't going to come out whole.

She shook her head. Tonight she was just a normal girl, bringing her boyfriend home to meet her family. Castle reached a hand out, his fingers brushing against her wrist in a soft gesture of support, and she tapped on the wood at last, smiling as it swung open to reveal her father beaming on the other side of the threshold.

"Come in," he urged them, wrapping his arms around his daughter, and she smiled into his shoulder. But as her eyes fell on the photograph of her mom on the wall behind him she was forced to squeeze back the tears that sprang forth. If only Johanna had been able to meet Castle too.

"Rick Castle," her boyfriend introduced himself, and Kate watched with amusement as her dad's eyes widened.

"Well, you weren't kidding when you said you'd talked about him before," Jim chuckled, taking Castle's outstretched hand. "Jim Beckett. Pleased to meet you. I've heard… a bit about you before tonight, but I can't say that I was expecting you here with Katie."

Castle grinned, winking at her. "Just when did you talk about me?" he teased, and Jim laughed again, ushering them inside.

"When _didn__'t_ she?" He took their jackets and gestured toward the sofa. "Take a seat. Rick, Kate's been reading your books for years. Always trying to get me to read them, insisting that it helps to get that happy ending-"

"Dad!" Kate hissed, her cheeks warming, and Castle smirked at her.

"Why, Beckett. I had no idea. And here you were, leading me to believe you were a casual fan of-" he cleared his throat, "the _genre_."

Behind them Jim mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like "_hardly-_" and Kate shot him a furious look. This was meant to be a meet-the-boyfriend dinner, not the unveiling of her past as a Richard Castle fangirl. "Can I offer you a drink?" he asked, the picture of innocence, and Kate heaved a sigh of relief as Castle requested a soda.

"Can I help you in the kitchen?" she asked, and her dad shook his head.

"Almost done," he informed her, and she hid her grin; the familiar scent of spaghetti and meat sauce was permeating the air.

"You know she has all your books?" Jim continued, and Kate couldn't be sure if her dad was oblivious to her discomfort or just intent on embarrassing her.

"I have seen them on her shelves, yeah," Castle agreed, turning to her and preening. "You like my books." The self-satisfied smirk on his face widened into a beam. "A lot."

"You already knew that," she hissed, narrowing her eyes at him and standing up. This ended now, before her dad could tell him just how many times she'd found her way to his book readings and signings. "Let's eat," she announced, marching toward the dining table. If they were going to talk about her like she wasn't here in some kind of show of _bonding _- and she grinned, because it was so obvious that her dad liked Rick - she wasn't going to stand by, politely biting her tongue.

The men followed her, dutifully silent as they sat down, and her dad heaped the pasta onto their plates.

"Kate tells me you have a daughter?"

"Yes, I do. Alexis. She's in Costa Rica right now, on a study trip." Castle's eyebrows knitted together in anxiety, and Jim smiled back at him.

"It's hard when they grow up." Jim nodded in Kate's direction. "This one gave her mom and me a heck of a time."

"Were you a wild-child?" Castle teased, and Kate raised an eyebrow.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

Castle laughed. "I think I want to know more about you as a teenager. But Alexis is the most sensible kid I've ever met. I never used to have to worry about her…"

"Mmm." Kate nodded, sipping her water. "You have nothing to be concerned about."

Castle shook his head, his eyes wide. "No. I do. I skyped with her this morning, and asked her about boys, and do you know what she said?"

Kate shook her head.

"She _evaded_. She shrugged, then she changed the subject." His expression was one of horror and Jim grinned, his eyes twinkling.

"Get used to it," he told Castle with a conspiratorial nod. "I didn't know a thing about you until a few weeks ago, Kate's reading habits excepted."

Kate rolled her eyes, turning her attention to the plate in front of her. "Good pasta, thank you, Dad."

* * *

><p>"Thank you for dinner, Jim," Castle said, helping Kate into her jacket and stepping into the hallway.<p>

Jim leaned in to hug her, and she returned the embrace. He'd found stability in recent years; what was it going to do to him when she told him what they'd found?

"Thanks, Dad."

"You okay?" he whispered into her ear, and she nodded, unable to trust herself to answer. Jim shifted back, meeting her eyes and smiling at her, his expression clear of the past that had haunted them, and she swallowed. "She would have loved him, Katie," he promised her.

* * *

><p>"Alexis gets back tonight," Castle reminded her at the end of July, swinging back on his seat by her desk and she reached out, setting the chair firmly on the ground.<p>

"And I don't want to have to explain to her that you're in hospital because you fell out of a chair." She rolled her eyes.

"She's seen worse," Castle dismissed. "One time, I got her to duct tape me to a chair, so I could figure out whether Derrick Storm could escape."

"And could he?" Beckett asked in spite of herself, and Castle shrugged, ruefully.

"Yeah. But explaining the gash on my forehead, when I'd slammed my head on the coffee table trying to get free wasn't so much fun. Alexis made me go to the ER and get stitches."

Beckett laughed. "So what time does she get back?"

He glanced at his watch. "Her plane touches down in a couple of hours. She made me promise not to come to the airport, but I'm gonna cook a welcome home dinner for her!"

"Sounds nice," Beckett agreed.

"You are coming, aren't you?" he asked through narrowed eyes, and she shrugged.

"Uh- I don't know, Castle. Shouldn't it be more a father daughter thing?"

"My mother will be there," he pointed out. "And I'm sure Alexis will be thrilled to see you." His eyes lit up. "We're having burgers. Because, you know, she probably missed American food."

"Or because you have a strange addiction to cheeseburgers, and it's a good excuse?" Beckett asked, looking at her own watch. Standing up, she shut her computer down. "Come on. Let's go before we get another body."

They walked out of the precinct together, fingers brushing lightly, yet the hairs on the back of Beckett's neck prickled as Castle hailed a cab, and she looked around, uncomfortable.

"You okay," he asked, as he opened the car door for her, and she glanced around again.

"Yeah. Just a funny feeling," she said, unwilling to get into it. She'd been on edge since her conversation with Montgomery, and she supposed it was normal to become slightly paranoid, the longer they went without any resolution.

"We'll solve this," he said again as the cab weaved its way into the traffic, and she pulled her gaze from the streets nearby and smiled at him.

"I know," she lied.

* * *

><p>"Beckett, a word," Montgomery called to Kate the next day, and she shrugged at Castle, standing and making her way into her boss' office reluctantly.<p>

"Sir," she greeted him, and he nodded, indicating the chair, and she sat down, tense and on high alert.

"Your… unorthodox partnership seems to be working well," he started, glancing out into the bullpen where Castle was hunched over Ryan's computer screen.

"Yeah," she admitted.

"I'm glad," he said. "You- you're a good cop, Beckett. The best. But you weren't having any fun-"

"I-"

He raised a finger to silence her. "You weren't having any fun, and I'm glad you've got Castle. I'm sure his next book is going to be amazing."

"We'll find out soon enough," she agreed. "He's written most of it already. I think it's meant to be released in time for Christmas."

Montgomery nodded, a shadow passing across his face. "Sounds great," he said, falling silent and staring absently out the window.

"Sir?"

"Beckett," he said, turning to her, suddenly purposeful. "I've had a lot of years to try and atone for my sins, but some things can't be undone. Now, I've rocked a few boats recently. And that's meant I've needed some more… insurance."

"What do you mean?" Beckett asked, but the Captain shook his head.

"Hopefully nothing," he said. "But a mark of a good investigation is good records. If you're in front of a judge, you need to know everything is rock solid."

"Uh-huh." Beckett bit her lip, not liking where this was going.

"Don't look so worried," he told her. "All I'm saying is if something happens-"

"Is something going to happen?" she asked.

Montgomery shook his head. "Probably not. But, Beckett, if you want to look into this, put it to bed, it's important that you understand. Record keeping. That's the most important thing."

He tapped his desk lightly, looking meaningfully at Beckett, and she caught his point. "Okay."

"Don't worry, Beckett," he assured her as she stood to go. "I don't think there's anything to be concerned about."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I wanted the meet the Jim to happen much sooner... hope you liked it! Thanks, Kylie, for the beta! x**


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter Twenty-Nine**

The shrill of the phone pierced the dark room, and Beckett sat straight up in bed to answer it. "Beckett."

She raised her hand to her mouth, unable to speak for a moment as she listened to the other end of the phone call. No. No. It couldn't be true.

"We'll be right there," she said when she found her voice at last, her hand shaking as she lowered the phone, letting it fall slackly onto the covers as she tried to breathe, tried to think.

"Who is it?" Castle mumbled beside her, still half asleep, and she shook him awake with her heart in her mouth.

"Wake up," she whispered, and her stomach churned. If she told Castle what had happened it would be real, and on that thought, she swung her legs over the edge of the bed. Unable to risk staying still anymore, she took hasty steps from the bed through to the bathroom and emptied the contents of her stomach into the sink.

This wasn't how it was supposed to go. They were all supposed to be safe. He'd told her he had insurance. He was taking care of this. Beckett ran her fingers through her hair, staring at her pale reflection in the mirror.

"Are you okay?" Castle asked from the other side of the door, knocking lightly, and she sank down, reaching to turn the faucet on to wash the sink before slumping onto the floor.

"Mmm," she replied, forcing herself to speak, and he knocked again, swinging the door open and stepping hesitantly into the dark bathroom, flipping on one of the lamps by the mirror.

"Who was it? What's happened?" he asked, crouching beside her on the floor, and she shook her head, eyes wide.

"Montgomery. They shot him. He's dead."

She was conscious of his hands on her thighs, steadying her, the warmth from his fingers bleeding through the thin material of her pajama pants, and she leaned her head back, looking at him, meeting his concerned blue eyes.

"Oh, Kate," he said at last. "Let me take you somewhere. Somewhere you'll be safe."

She smiled even as she realized tears were falling. She wiped roughly across her face, sniffing as she realized her nose was running too.

"There's nowhere safe," she whispered. "I have to face this head on." She shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts, but Montgomery's voice echoed through her mind.

"_I felt the hand of God upon me"_

* * *

><p>"What are you thinking? We keep going on like we did today? Say nothing?"<p>

Kate shrugged at Esposito, her hands wrapped around her coffee. Midnight was no time for caffeine, but it had been a long day answering questions at the precinct. If she and the boys were going to have these conversations now, it was a necessary evil.

"Keep it to ourselves. In the family. The way he wanted it. The last thing he told me was that he was taking care of it. He said he'd rocked some boats, but that he had insurance. I'm hoping this means that this is it."

"That's how you want to play it?" Espo asked, his eyes narrowed in anger. "A hope? You'd better be right!"

"Hey!" Castle interjected, shifting forward and shielding her from where Espo stood. Kate laid a calm hand on his shoulder, forcing him back.

"It's okay," she told him, meeting his eyes; she couldn't expect him to understand the years of history she and Esposito had, and right now Espo had every right to be angry.

"This is how I want to play it," she said stubbornly, staring Espo down, and he shrugged, sitting at last.

"I hope you're right," he muttered.

"We don't want to involve Evelyn," Ryan pointed out, and she shook her head.

"No."

"But don't you think someone needs to know?" Castle asked, and Kate bit her lip, staring vacantly at the bold print on her wall. It had seemed like an amazing find, when she bought the print, but now the image of bombs falling as the woman ran across the bridge was strangely unsettling.

"Who would we tell?" she asked at last. "Iron Gates? You all saw her today as she was introduced around the precinct. Word is she''s being reassigned from IA- she'll be there within a few weeks."

"Gates?" Ryan's lip curled in disgust. "She's as by the book as they come."

"No, man," Espo agreed. "You're right. I don't want to drag Montgomery's name through the mud. Not if we don't have to."

"We don't," Kate insisted.

Castle leaned his head back against the sofa, closing his eyes, and Beckett took a deep breath. This wasn't how this was meant to go. This wasn't how anything was meant to go. She found herself wishing that it had been random gang violence, way back on that cold January day. She wished that she'd never doubted Raglan, wished that she'd stayed at Stanford, started fresh in California, all those years ago. Montgomery's sins had come home to roost and everyone was paying for them.

She sighed, standing. It was past late; time for Espo and Ryan to go home. She smiled sadly as the boys followed her lead, watching the faint curve of Esposito's lips as he met her eyes, and she stepped forward, wrapping her arms around the man who had become her brother in the last few years.

"It'll be okay," she murmured in his ear, lying through her teeth and she felt him shrug and when he pulled away, his eyes wet. She wiped at her own, sniffing inelegantly as Espo nodded.

"Yeah," he lied back. "It'll be okay.""

She watched silently as they let themselves out, allowing her tears to flow freely now that it was just her and Castle. Two more days until the funeral. They would get through this. They had to.

* * *

><p>"Roy Montgomery taught me what it meant to be a cop. He taught me that we are bound by our choices, but we are more than our mistakes. Captain Montgomery once said to me that for us, there is no victory. There are only battles. And in the end, the best you can hope for is to find a place to make your stand. And if you're very lucky, you find someone to stand with you."<p>

Beckett forced her voice to carry, battling to keep her face devoid of tears. To get through this. To not look at Evelyn. To not look at the coffin. She looked, instead, at Castle, intent on taking a deep breath and steadying herself. But something was off. A flicker of light. Just a glint, where it shouldn't be, and she looked out again across the green of the cemetery. The world stilled a moment, the warmth of the sunlight suffocating through her dress blues, the birds silent for a moment. And then it all shattered in a burst of gunfire, screams sounding from the crowd.

"Get down!"

"Castle!"

"Ryan!"

"No!"

She leapt, intent upon pushing Rick out of the line of fire. Too late. Too late. The words echoed through her skull although she was sure no-one had voiced them.

"Castle's down!" someone else cried; that was real, wasn't it? A flurry of activity behind her registered in her peripheral vision, and she was dimly aware that someone else had been hit too, but she crouched over Castle, unable to make herself turn around and assess the scene; her hands forced pressure over bullet wound, but she was helpless to stem the bleeding as red gushed through his shirt.

"Castle, shh… Castle. Stay with me, Rick. Don't leave me, please. Stay with me, okay?

He looked so scared, beneath her, and she blinked back the tears that were forming in her eyes.

"Rick, I love you. I love you, Rick."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thank you for your love for Jim last chapter and... *whispers* I'm really sorry, guys. Please come back for next chapter. *sobs***


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter Thirty**

Sirens screamed, the ambulances roaring through the cemetery. Beckett was torn from Rick as Lanie leaped upon him and forced pressure on the wound. She blinked, looking around, trying to make sense of what had happened.

"Who else?" she whispered hoarsely to Espo. "How many?"

"Ryan. Nicked his arm. He's conscious, he's okay."

"What happened?" she asked, and Esposito shook his head.

"I dunno, Kate." He looked as shocked as she felt and she blinked, trying to clear her head; she was their leader, she needed to stay strong, but nothing about this was okay, nothing, and she clenched her teeth in an attempt to steady herself.

"There was so much blood…" Kate trailed off, and Espo stepped closer, throwing an awkward arm around her, his eyes still scanning the cemetery.

"He'll be okay, Kate," he murmured, and she nodded, forcing her eyes to one of the waiting ambulances. She watched the paramedics usher Ryan inside, relieved to see he was able to walk by himself, holding gauze against his own wound, before tearing her eyes away. Tears stung her eyes as she watched her father rush forward to support Martha and Alexis as the two red-heads struggled to remain standing.

She shook her head, clearing her throat and stepping forward.

"I'm going with him," she said, pushing her way toward the ambulance as they loaded Castle up, and Lanie stepped in front of her, effectively blocking her.

"You don't want to see this," she told her friend, fear in her eyes, and Kate shook her head.

"I'm coming," she insisted, and Lanie conceded. Kate turned her attention back to Castle and watched as the paramedic slid a cannula into his good arm.

Beckett kept her eyes on Castle's face as she listened to the calm voices of the paramedics, obviously schooling their tones as they worked frantically.

"Might have nicked an artery-"

"I don't like the chest sounds I'm getting-"

"He's okay-"

"I can't find the source of the bleeding…"

She closed her eyes, briefly, unable to stomach the site of the monitor out of the corner of her eye as his unsteady pulse staggered along. Montgomery had sacrificed himself; she knew that in her heart. So why were they still coming?

* * *

><p>"He's out of surgery," the doctor said as he rounded the corner, and Kate found herself able to breathe again. Speak again. Move again.<p>

"Oh, thank God," she heard from Martha, and beside her, the younger red-head broke into sobs in her grandmother's arms. "Katherine," she caught, low and urgent, and she looked up to see Martha beckoning her to join their embrace. She stepped forward numbly, allowing them to sweep her up, wrap their arms around her. Numb. She felt numb and she let them hug her, wondering dully how they could even stand to look at her.

"I did this," she mumbled, but Martha's hands found their way into her hair, shifting the strands from her eyes.

"Katherine Beckett, don't you dare blame yourself. You are not the one that shot him."

"I put him in the crosshairs. They should have shot me. Why didn't they shoot me?"

"Kate," Alexis said, and Beckett let herself meet Castle's daughter's eyes, red and bloodshot, her tear-streaked face twisted in anguish. "Stop. It's not your fault."

"Can we see him?" Martha asked, stepping from Kate and Alexis toward the doctor; the younger red-head still clung to her and she bit her lip. What could she possibly offer Castle's daughter in the way of solace today?

"Well, once the nurses get him settled we'll bring you back to him," the doctor said. "The rest of you should go home, get some rest."

Kate barely flinched as Espo nudged against her, his hand tentatively reaching out and touching her arm. "I'm not going home," he assured her. "Gonna go find the son of a bitch who did this."

"What about Ryan?" she asked dully, and Esposito shook his head.

"They wanna keep him here." He snorted. "He says he's fine, but Jenny's insisting."

Beckett nodded, squeezing her eyes shut. Jenny. She could have so easily been left a widow.

"But you stay here," he continued. "Make sure your boy's okay too, 'kay?"

Beckett shook her head and extracted herself from Alexis' grasp, her fear dissolving into fury now that she knew Castle was out of immediate danger. She wanted nothing more than to see him but just because he was out of surgery didn't mean he was safe. None of them were; she needed to end this first, and she turned and followed Esposito down the hall, the sound of her low heels mocking her with their authoritative click.

* * *

><p>As she and Esposito strode out of the hospital, Beckett hit her first roadblock when they reached the street. Shit. She and Espo were probably targets right now.<p>

She grimaced, grabbing his arm and marching him a few yards down the street so they could hail a cab from the relative safety of an enclosed bus shelter. The falling darkness afforded them a little more security than they'd had in the cemetery, she figured, but she found herself flinching at the typical sounds of the bustling Manhattan traffic, breathing a sigh of relief as a familiar shade of yellow came into view.

She swore under her breath when they got into the taxi, silently begging the driver to go faster. She needed to get to the precinct. Montgomery's words were coming back to her and she pictured him sitting at his desk, rapping his hand above the drawers. She just hoped she wasn't too late.

She slammed a twenty into the driver's hand, and bolting from the cab, she tore into the precinct. Taking the stairs to homicide, Espo hot on her heels. "I'm gonna see what I can get on the gun that was left at the scene," he told her, and she nodded, barely pausing for breath as she burst into Roy's office, relieved to see it all looked untouched.

She encountered an obstacle when it came to the desk drawer, though, and she pulled a bobby pin from her hair, intent on picking the lock. She swore as she broke the first one, before using a second and getting the top drawer open. Success.

Manila folders. Cream. Three of them. She looked out into the bullpen, deciding that it was safe and carrying them across the floor to a workroom, spreading them out on a table. Once there, Beckett almost closed the blinds until she realized that would put her at the mercy of an intruder and she wouldn't be able to see them coming. Instead, she unholstered her service piece, setting it within easy reach, and opened the first folder.

* * *

><p>Beckett only looked up from the table as daylight filtered its way through the windows, and she watched as the precinct slowly came to life; at seven, Esposito was still at his own desk, and at seven-thirty, Ryan shuffled in, looking dead on his feet. No. Not dead. Alive. Mercifully alive. She watched as Espo embraced the other man, chuckling with sympathy when Ryan recoiled as Espo knocked against his arm.<p>

Time to go talk to them. She clenched her fists, giving herself to the count of ten to find some composure, timing her count with each of her steps as she crossed the bullpen to the boys. _One. Two. Three._ He's going to pay. _Four. Five. Six._ He's not the only one who can make threats. _Seven. Eight. Nine._ He's not the only one who can take lives. _Ten._ This ends today.

Ryan's head jerked up as she approached. "Whoa- Beckett, have you slept?"

"No man, while you've been on R and R, Beckett and I have actually been working the case," Esposito interjected, and she let the ghost of a smile make its way onto her lips.

"Ryan. How are you?"

He smiled at her wanly. "I'm okay, Beckett."

She raised her eyebrows at him, too tired to listen to any false bravado. "Liar," she teased, but her voice sounded hoarse, wrong, to her own ears. She shrugged, swatting at his good arm, taking care to stare Esposito down as she did so, and Espo averted his eyes, obviously getting her point.

"So." She waited until two sets of eyes were fixed on her. "I know exactly who did this."

Ryan cast an anxious look at her. "You don't know," he told her. "Not for sure. It's all just speculation. And keep your voice down."

She shrugged, turning on her heel and beckoning to them.

"I do know," she said, when they had followed her into the workroom.

She pointed at Montgomery's paperwork and notes and watched with satisfaction as the boys thumbed through it, their jaws becoming comically slack as they took in the details.

Bank account details. A fire in a warehouse. An embellished report.

Lists. Names. Highlighting, and text crossed out.

Surveillance photographs. A CD that Beckett hoped contained some kind of audio confession. A key, apparently to a safety deposit box.

The Captain's record keeping was chaotic, but thorough, and Beckett shuddered as she saw her own name circled, her friend's names underlined below. Keep them all safe, the Captain had scrawled beneath their names, and there was an asterisk beside Rick Castle. She clenched her teeth. The Captain had known. He'd known the danger wasn't just to himself, or to her, but to all them; Bracken wasn't going to be satisfied until every one of them had been cut down.

* * *

><p>"What are you going to do?" Espo asked. Beyond them the bullpen was winding down again, and Kate stood up, leaning against the wall as she spoke, her voice decisive even as her frame sagged in exhaustion.<p>

The haze of sleeplessness was getting to her and she wondered how she would ever face Castle and his family again. Whatever they decided now, she couldn't risk them. This plan had to work. She sighed; she missed him already. All she wanted to do was run from the precinct and into his arms, but she couldn't; not until she'd dealt with this.

"We're going to copy these. Create some insurance."

"What- 'an open this in case of my death' kind of thing?" Ryan asked.

Kate nodded. "Got a better idea?"

"Um… prosecute?"

She shook her head. "Not yet. Someday, maybe. But not yet."

"And then what?" Espo asked.

"You guys copy them. Address them to these people-" she tossed the list she'd made onto the table and she watched Espo's eyes widen.

"That's quite a list, Beckett…"

"Who's on it?" Ryan asked, reaching for it. "Oh… Everyone we've ever worked with outside the NYPD."

She nodded at him. Jordan Shaw. Agent Harris. Agent Fallon. Even Will Sorenson.

"And I'm going to have a staring contest. With the devil himself."

"Yeah? And you're sure he's gonna blink first?" Esposito asked.

Beckett nodded grimly. "I'm sure."

"'Kay," Esposito said, his tone laced with doubt, and she narrowed her eyes at him.

"What?"

He lowered his eyes, tilting his head and indicating her shirt. She looked down, seeing what he saw; bloodstained dress blues, her shirt disheveled and wrinkled. Right. It hit her all over again and she swallowed. Castle had been shot. She squeezed her eyes shut, forcing herself to keep her breathing even. She would see him as soon as she'd put this to bed. She nodded at Esposito.

Shower first. And then a confrontation second. It was past time to end this.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thanks for sticking with me, guys... we have two more chapters. Whew! Thanks for the beta read(s), Kylie!**


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter Thirty-One**

Beckett flashed her badge at Bracken's secretary, striding past the reception desk without waiting for a reaction.

"Um… excuse me?" the woman called out behind her, but with images of Castle's blood washing off her in the shower and flooding the cubicle red still fresh in her mind, she narrowed her eyes and ignored her, stalking into Bracken's office without knocking.

He looked up at the intrusion, only the shadow of discomfort flickering across his face before he pasted an even expression onto his features.

"Detective Beckett. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

It was on the tip of her tongue to tell him to cut the crap, but she bit the bile down, forcing a smile onto her lips and taking the seat opposite him without waiting for an invitation.

"We had a mutual friend," she told him, leaning forward. "Perhaps you heard of his passing?"

"Roy Montgomery," he deduced. "So sad to hear of his demise. It's a dangerous job, being a police officer in the line of fire, no matter how high you rise through the ranks."

Beckett nodded. "You're right. The higher you rise, the further you can fall."

"Detective." Bracken smiled. "I'm not sure I see your point."

"You will," she said. "Now, I understand you and Roy Montgomery had a deal in place."

"If that were true, it would no longer be in place, now, would it? Given his untimely death, I mean."

Beckett shook her head, a wry smile on her lips. "The deal's on," she said. "Whatever the deal you had with Roy? I don't know what he said or did to change-"

"He-" Bracken interrupted her, his composure shaken, and she halted him with a look.

"That deal is with me, now."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," he lied, his face a mask once more.

"Then, if I die, or more of my friends die, you won't have a problem, will you?"

"Whatever do you mean, Detective?" An ebb of confidence leached from his expression and she smiled in satisfaction.

"I mean, I have evidence. A lot of it. All of it, maybe?" Cat and mouse. "It might not be everything. A man of your standing- fingers in a lot of pies, I'm sure. But links to my mother's murder, to almost half a dozen other murders, all starting with Bob Armen in 1992."

"Detective. I'm sure I had nothing to do with a death in 1992. After all, I was just starting my career back then."

"Don't play dumb," she said. "You may not have killed Bob Armen, but you had no problem profiting from his death." She shrugged. "I have everything I need to ruin you. If you pull the trigger, it will be the linchpin in a chain of events that will have you ruing the day you first approached three dirty cops."

Kate sighed, meeting the Senator's eyes.

"I saved your life in February this year. Back then, I wondered just what you could possibly have done to make someone hate you enough to kill you." She snorted in derision. "The deal is this: you don't get to threaten me, you don't get to threaten my friends and family and you most definitely don't get to threaten or hurt my boyfriend."

She shrugged; she was done with this. Time to focus on the important things, and that meant being by Castle's side. She stood up, ready to go.

"Take it or leave it."

"A truce of kinds might be beneficial," Bracken agreed, and she nodded as she walked away. "Detective?" he said, as she made for the door. "You must be sorry you didn't let me die in February."

She turned back to look at him, her face expressionless. "The thought occurred to me," she said. "But I'm better than that."

* * *

><p>Kate chewed on her lip, uncomfortable, as the cab driver pulled up in front of the hospital, and pushing a few bills into his hand, she hurried from the car into the hospital, suddenly acutely aware that it had been over twenty-four hours since she'd been here; apart from a text from Lanie this afternoon telling her that Castle had briefly regained consciousness, she had no idea how he was doing.<p>

She glanced around out of habit but after her meeting with Senator Bracken she was no longer concerned for her personal safety; she'd seen the defeat in his eyes as she'd threatened him and she didn't think he was stupid enough to test her.

Her heels clacked noisily against the linoleum in the quiet corridors, and she kept her eyes straight ahead, startled when a familiar voice called her name.

"Detective Beckett!" Alexis' voice was raised, her anger all to apparent, and Kate slowed down, surprised to see the girl pacing the hallway.

"Alexis. What are you doing here so late?" she asked.

"Someone had to stay," the teenager told her, bitterness laced through her tone, and Kate's mouth dropped into an O of surprise. Huh. This was why Alexis was wearing out the tired flooring; she was scared and furious. "Someone had to be here when he woke up!"

"Alexis," Kate murmured, reaching out and placing a gentle hand on Alexis' shoulder, but the red-head shook it off.

"No!" Kate blinked at the girl's exclamation, grimacing as she realized how it had probably looked to her when she'd stormed out of the hospital; it had looked like she was abandoning Castle.

Kate stared at her helplessly. "What happened, Alexis?"

"He woke up," Alexis said, the venom leaving her voice. She leaned against the wall, slumping down, and burying her face in her hands. "And he asked for you. And he got so upset when you weren't there that he had to be sedated again."

"Oh, Alexis," Kate whispered. "I'm so sorry."

"I lied to him," Alexis said, looking up through tear-filled eyes. "I just wanted him to relax- I was afraid he would tear his stitches, so I said that you were working on the case, trying to figure out who had shot him, and he- he panicked, and he said you weren't safe, and he tried to sit up, and I called a nurse, and they sedated him." The words tumbled out and Kate reached for the girl again, and this time Alexis let her fold her into an embrace.

"Shhh," Kate soothed. "You didn't lie, sweetie." She chuckled to herself; where had that diminutive come from? Obviously she was under Castle's influence, she figured, smiling at the recollection of Castle calling her babe when she'd had the nightmare at his place in the Hamptons.

"I didn't?"

Kate shook her head, her hands running a sure course through Alexis' hair. "No. I was working the case." She sighed. "There was a lot to work through, but we have it sorted."

"You caught the guy? Who shot dad and Detective Ryan? Is he in jail?"

Kate bit her lip, considering. "He's not in jail," she said, stepping back so she could look at Alexis. "But we know who he is."

"Will he go to jail?"

Kate shook her head and Alexis' face twisted in consternation.

"But-"

"Shhh," Kate whispered again. "It's complicated, Alexis."

"And you won't tell me?"

Kate ran a tired hand through her own hair. "One day," she promised. "Not today. But one day, Alexis, I'll tell you, okay?"

Alexis shook her head, but Kate held up her hand; the fewer people who knew, the better.

"I know it doesn't seem like enough," she said, shifting from one foot to the other. "But for now it has to be."

Alexis nodded, sniffing, and Kate took her by the hand with a wry smile, pulling her toward the trolley in the corridor and reaching for the box tissues, handing several to the girl.

"Come on," she said. "Want to take me to your dad?"

"Sure." Alexis nodded. "Gram went home," she volunteered, taking a few steps up the hall, and pushing open a door. Kate found herself holding her breath as she followed her into the room.

"Hi…" she whispered, creeping in.

She stared at Castle unhappily, taking in the IV drip connected to his arm. Even in the low light he looked pale. Yellow. And small. Smaller than she remembered him, and she took a few more steps until she was beside him. She slipped her fingers into his, irrationally relieved to find that her own hand was still dwarfed by his larger one. He groaned, faintly, and shifted, but didn't rouse.

"Is he still sedated?" she asked Alexis.

"I don't know."

"Okay."

Kate pressed a kiss to Castle's cool cheek, closing her eyes and allowing herself a moment before glancing at her watch and straightening up, turning to Alexis; it was past midnight, past time for sleep, and if she couldn't do anything for Castle right now, she could at least take care of his daughter.

"Let's go," she said, and Alexis stared at her in alarm.

"Go?"

"You need to sleep," Kate said, keeping her tone gentle but firm. "And so do I. And my apartment is closer than your dad's place, so you can come with me, and we'll come back here together, first thing in the morning."

Alexis shook her head as if she was going to protest and Kate glanced back at Castle, buying some time to let Alexis compose herself. "First thing?" she murmured, and Kate nodded.

"First thing."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Once again thanks to K for the beta. And thank you guys for the reviews last chapter, they meant the world. One more... see you then!**


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter Thirty-Two**

Beckett tapped on the open door to Castle's hospital room, relieved to see that he was alone. In spite of her promise that she and Alexis would come here first thing in the morning she'd left the girl fast asleep on her sofa, figuring she needed the rest.

"Hey…" she whispered. His eyes opened, crinkling as he took her in, his gaze sleepy. She blushed. guilt rushing through her veins; if only she'd been here yesterday when he'd first woken. Tears prickled behind her eyelids and she fought them back.

"Kate?" he mumbled, his eyes opening a little more, and she nodded, stepping forward into the room.

"Mmm. I'm here." Kate met his eyes - red-rimmed, weary eyes - and tears formed in her own again. Outside, in the hall, she registered that the hospital was waking up; the gentle hush was lifting. Foot traffic past the room was increasing, and trolleys scraped the linoleum.

"Hey…" Castle's voice was softer, he was becoming sleepier, and she looked at him. "I missed you," he murmured, his eyes closing. She sniffed, leaning in to him and sighing as his breathing changed and he slipped into a doze.

If he was going to sleep, she was going to wait right here, she decided, not releasing her grip on his hand, but standing and shifting her chair awkwardly so that she could prop herself against his bed. She may have missed him waking yesterday, but she would be here when he woke up again today.

* * *

><p>"What are you doing, Kate?"<p>

His voice was a mere croak and she jerked her head up, waking from her own light slumber to the realization that her hand was still entwined in his, and she disentangled herself, stretching out and resting her hand back on his. "Waiting," she whispered, unable to meet his eyes or stop the immediate cascade of tears escaping from her own. "Just waiting for you."

"Where were you?" he asked, and she shook her head.

"Here," she said. "Right here, babe."

"Did you call me babe?" he chuckled, and then winced as the movement pulled at his arm, pain flooding his features. She watched, horrified, as he flinched, his breathing jagged.

"I'm calling the nurse," she told him, leaning over and pressing on the buzzer on the wall; he looked a lot less steady now than he had when she'd first slipped into the room an hour ago.

Castle shrugged, his face twisting in voiceless discomfort, and Kate squeezed his hand, wishing she were lying in the bed in his place. Before she could say anything else, a nurse bustled in.

"Mr. Castle," she said. "Good morning. You're looking much better." Kate blinked; how had he looked yesterday if this was better?

Castle smiled back at the nurse weakly, and Kate dropped his hand, bringing her own up to swipe at the tears on her cheek. "I'll just-" she pointed to the door. "I'll step outside."

The nurse nodded, and Beckett leaned in to read her name tag - Sarah. "Won't be long, dear," Sarah told Kate. "You can come back soon."

"Hey, Beckett?" Castle asked, a semblance of command forced into his voice. "Can you bring me a coffee?"

She nodded, the tears flowing again; now they'd started they showed no sign of abating; and Sarah shook her head kindly.

"Decaf," she instructed, and Kate couldn't hold back her chuckle when she saw the look of disgust cross Rick's face over the pain.

* * *

><p>Beckett knocked on the door to Castle's hospital room again, two coffees in hand, plastering a smile on her face when she saw Alexis had perched herself in the chair she'd vacated.<p>

"Hey." She raised hand in greeting, and Kate smiled to see the girl in the clean clothes she'd left on the end of the sofa. "You're here."

"I am," she agreed, setting Castle's coffee down on the nightstand beside him. Alexis' tears had flowed fast and free last night, and when she'd sneaked out this morning the red-head had been sacked out on her sofa. To be honest, she'd hoped Alexis would sleep much longer; she wanted more time alone with Castle and while she'd meant it when she'd told the girl that she would tell her the truth one day, that day wasn't today.

She was forced to grasp her own cup of coffee firmly to avoid dropping it in her surprise as Alexis leaped up and embraced her, and she nodded at her, running her free hand awkwardly through her red hair.

"Here's your key," Alexis said when she pulled away, producing Kate's spare and handing it over, and she took it, slipping it into her pocket.

Castle looked at Alexis, obviously curious, but his daughter just shrugged. "How are you really, Dad?" she asked.

"Better, sweetie," he said. Alexis' expression softened. She cast a shy smile in Beckett's direction, and Kate felt her own lips twitch in the semblance of a smile in response. "I can come home at the end of the week."

"And then what?" Beckett asked.

"Uh- some physical therapy." He grinned. "Gina's going to kill me."

Alexis laughed, obviously getting the joke, but Beckett shook her head. "Why?"

"I… can't write on painkillers," he said, and Alexis grinned.

"He uses the same words, over and over," she clarified. "Like three times in one paragraph."

"Some words are important," Castle protested.

Alexis fixed him with a look. "Stupendous and abominable aren't words that need to be overused," she admonished, and Castle had the grace to look abashed, reaching for his coffee with a wince.

"Tell me this isn't decaf," he begged Kate, and she shook her head.

"Sorry," she said, and she put her own cup of coffee down and buried her face in her hands. "I'm so sorry," she said again. "Both of you- I- Alexis, it's my fault your dad was in danger-"

Alexis shook her head, and Castle opened his mouth, but it was Alexis who spoke first, a wry chuckle escaping her lips, her good humor apparently returned after a good night's sleep. "In danger? Kate, he met you when I was kidnapped. So I don't think any of our lives were all that safe even before you came along."

Castle nodded. "Kate-"

She shook her head. "I'm just so sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for," Castle insisted quietly, and Alexis shifted uncomfortably in her chair.

"I'll- uh-" she pointed at the door. "I'll be back soon, 'kay?"

Castle nodded, and Beckett clenched her fists, uncomfortable with the turn the morning had taken. She should have been here yesterday.

Castle frowned, narrowing his eyes at her as if to gain focus. "I thought you would be here when I woke up yesterday," he told her, and she shrugged, not following.

Maybe solving this and closing the deal with Bracken should have waited. She swallowed. No. Timing had been everything yesterday, and she was certain she'd saved lives. She couldn't be sorry for that.

"I remember everything that happened after I was shot," he said. "Everything. When a life altering moment occurs, the important things stand out- the rest of it bleeds into the background. I remember standing beside you as you gave the eulogy. And I remember you leaping at me." He laughed, a short, dry sound. "If you hadn't done that, I guess the bullet would have gone through my heart, not my shoulder, and we wouldn't be having this conversation, I suppose.

"I remember the burn of the bullet through my shoulder, and I remember falling. And I remember what you said." He paused, considering. "I thought I'd imagined it. But the more I thought about it, the more I knew. I'm a writer, but even my imagination isn't good enough to imagine the look that was in your eyes when you told me- what you told me."

"Castle-" she tried, but he shook his head.

"So yeah, I expected to see you yesterday. I remember now. I woke thinking that I would see you smiling down at me. And when Alexis told me what you were doing- I was scared. Really scared." He shrugged, an awkward one armed movement that saw his coffee sway dangerously from where he gripped it tightly in his good hand. "I don't want your apologies, Kate. I want- well, I want what you told me. I don't know- maybe it was a lie, something to keep me in the moment, to keep me alive, keep fear at bay?"

She shook her head. "Not a lie," she whispered. "But I was scared, too. I kept imagining a few scenarios of my own. Not just when you were shot, but after that." Beckett squeezed her eyes shut. "I didn't think you would want to see me, at first. But then I realized that more than anything, I had to keep you safe. I had to move quickly to keep everyone safe. I spent yesterday with the boys working out exactly what we needed to do. But I meant what I said."

Castle looked at her, astonishment on his face, and she swept a tired hand over her own.

"I meant what I said," she repeated. "I… love you. I meant it when I said it, and I meant it for a long time before I said it. I've… felt it for a long time now. And you have to know that I wasn't here yesterday because I was hiding, but because I needed to make sure we wouldn't have to hide at all anymore. Any of us."

Castle nodded, his expression relaxing, and the fear dissolving from his eyes. "Kate… I love you." She bit her lip, letting it wash over her, the echo of her own words sounding good on his lips.

"I… love you too, Rick," she whispered back, her heart clenching in her chest as she leaned in to press her lips against his, relishing the feel of his two-day old stubble against her cheek.

He should be running a mile from her, not returning her feelings. She had done this to him, in her quest to chase windmills. And what had she gained? The truth. And it hurt.

"So what happened yesterday? You know who did this, I guess?" He indicated the chair beside his bed with a nod, and she sank into it.

She bit her lip, considering how much to tell him.

"Bracken," she said at last, and he nodded, evidently unsurprised. "And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. This-" she gestured at him, at the IV beside him, at the hospital bed. "This is all my fault." Her mentor was dead and her boyfriend had been shot. And the man responsible continued to sit comfortably, remaining invulnerable, but for the tenuous thread of evidence with which she had threatened him.

"How is this your fault, Kate?" he asked, his voice gentler now, less accusing.

"My mom's case," she said again. "And I should have been able to protect you- and I failed so spectacularly. God, Castle. You were shot."

"I'm aware," he said dryly, raising an unsteady hand to his shoulder. "But you weren't the one who pulled the trigger."

Kate shrugged, burying her face in her hands, unable to speak.

"Why not just shoot you?" Her head jerked up but Castle eyes were suddenly wide and he shook his head. "Sorry, no. That sounded- I didn't mean it like that! I'm on painkillers, Beckett!"

"Um?" She grinned in spite of herself. Okay, so Alexis was right. If gems like that were going to come out of his mouth when he was doped up maybe writing wasn't the best thing for him.

"I mean, why did they shoot me?"

She bit her lip, intent on pushing back the fresh tears that threatened to spill again. "Maybe just a warning," she answered. "I think we got very lucky- we found a sniper rifle and I think we're just lucky that whoever Bracken tasked with killing… us… just wasn't a very good shot. But we don't know. Maybe they did just want to scare us.

"So I, uh- struck a deal with him. Yesterday." She nodded, looking around to check that none of the nurses in the hallway were within earshot. "Same deal Montgomery had, before he threatened to break it all apart and was- killed. Ryan and Esposito and I spent all day and most of the night making our case against Bracken as water-tight as possible. We won't be prosecuting or making any moves yet, though. Right now it's just insurance."

"One day," Castle promised her, putting his empty coffee cup onto the nightstand and reaching out, taking her hand. She watched as he folded his fingers into hers. "Together."

She stared at their hands for a moment, understanding hitting her all at once. He wasn't a mere bystander who had been swept up in something meaningless to him. Instead, he had been beside her the whole time, and she owed it to him to be there for him. She'd made promises when Alexis was kidnapped, and they hadn't been hers to make; she'd made them blindly, but their tentative friendship had survived.

Their relationship would come through this too.

She pushed her guilt aside. Cops were shot, sometimes. And partners took bullets for one another; she'd seen that more than once in her years on the Force. And Castle might not be a cop, but he was her boyfriend, her civilian consultant, and her partner.

"It's enough," she said.

"Is it?" he asked, and she brought her gaze up from where it rested on their hands, meeting his eyes.

"For now," she said quietly.

She gestured to their fingers, entwined.

"And for now, we have this."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Wow. So****… this was my NaNoWriMo. And it owned me for the last six months, and now we're… done. I think I'm kind of relieved, and kind of sad! I'm for sure confused... But I do know that I'm grateful- grateful to Kylie for the beta, grateful that she's still talking to me (she saw some of these chapters *so* many times), grateful for my FB gals, and to you guys, the readers. I thank you, for your reads and reviews, tweets and follows... Until tomorrow. x**


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